(with music) I cracked under the pressure. Repeatedly. Even more than I thought I could. When will I ever learn? When I give my heart, I give completely. And it's a heart that's been dropped from every trust fall, repeatedly, on the concrete, s
(with music) I had a visit from an Angel. Like a dude named Angel. Unplanned and magical, we went on adventure through SF but it broke me, the city and the noise and the masking and the homeless and my heart breaking and missing a chance to giv
(with music) TOPICS: I don't know, the usual brain hurricane 4am freak-out? Sometimes I feel like this podcast is my evil secret, where my buried id comes out like a werewolf or Mr. Hyde and goes on paranoiac tirades that would drive away anyon
(with music) TOPICS: what to keep and what to save, living toward my values, letting go, circles of gift exchange, faith and imagination, trust, the contagion of animal fear, getting distance and height and perspective in the hopes of clarity,
(no music) Emergency self-therapy/brain-storm session on the importance of having an outlet, taking my voice with me, and using and loving my words even if no one else wants them.
'Who Lives, Who Dies, Who Tells Your Story' by Lin-Manuel Miranda. I wish I could have done a better job, but I'm making music like I'm running out of time… which I am. In the end, have I sung enough? Will you hear my story, between these lines
(with music) TOPICS: unrequited desire, letting go to let flow, grief for a husband tying to desire to recreate what I loved best in me, and a desire to see desire for things about others as a lust to embody and emulate those things as best I c
(with music) TOPICS: needing to be alone, the arts of letting go & asking & giving without expectation, the art of hello without expectation of return, despair, pain, desire, hugging a fire, dreaming of warmth, visiting cold dead ground and win
(with music) TOPICS: putting myself into life, the courage of feeling the fear and doing it anyway, the creative act of getting out of bed and coming away from the ledge, 'Harold & Maude,' Lewis Hyde's 'The Gift,' enthusiastic consent and givin
…I forgot the music, but please enjoy some Hawaiian vocabulary? It is very musical, even if the instrument is a little fumbling with new ways of speaking. I must go pour out some acts of creation.
Quoth the raven: "Neverwhere." My fragments get more fractious and frantic as I approach the leap of imagination. This is not all there is. I walk up on high, I step to the edge to see the world below. I laugh to myself as the tears roll down -
With any luck, I finished it in time and it works. I hope you like it. This is how I made it: https://www.instructables.com/Playable-Cardboard-Ukulele/
(with music) TOPICS: talking my way through an art-of-asking fail that brought me a lot of what I didn't want, unsolicited advice, being less passhole-aggresshole, the power and ironic connection that no-frills 'nope' has to offer, longing for
(with music) There are so many songs about rainbows because humans exist on a spectrum of humanity. Spectrums are ways of seeing things, whether colors or ourselves or each other. What we perceive in ourselves and each other informs our choices
(with music) TOPICS: love droplets & love cactuses, when you're going through a desert of abandonment keep going -- hard, the melancholic beauty of the Santa Cruz Beach Boardwalk in the time of COVID, gaining insight into the loss of my husband
(with music) TODAY'S SPECIALS DE JURE*: red foam noses for aspiring holy fools and sacred clowns, silk purple roses for those without the wherewithal to find and appreciate those flowers that die even as they to perfection grow, a limited suppl
Excised from the original text (with some deletions at my own unique human discretion, not to put words in the author's mouth, but to dismiss what insults my soul and add my commentary to chime in with my own unique experiences and add rather t