Agree with the narrator that how easily death finds any of us and even with that in mind it could definitely take us when we least expects it. I feel that she is still feeling the impact of that night even after all these years, and she's being reminded always of the guilt that gives the metaphor that even she is living, I can't say the same about her wellbeing is in the same state. Good on her for saying all this out and helping others that might be going through the same thing.