30:00

and it provides you with access

30:02

to a care team that includes

30:04

a therapist, dietitian, medical professional and

30:06

a mentor. You don't need to

30:08

have a formal diagnosis to get

30:10

care from Equip, so visit equip.health.gemma.wither.j

30:13

to learn more. That's

30:16

equip.health.gemma. I

30:18

really think that if you're struggling with this at

30:20

the moment, if you just feel like every day

30:22

you go on is a dud, every person is

30:24

disappointing you, it never works out.

30:27

It's not you. It is the entire

30:30

culture of dating that has made it feel

30:32

very transactional, very

30:35

fast, very convenient

30:37

and ultimately disappointing.

30:41

So I really reached this

30:43

point probably like

30:45

two and a half years ago where it

30:48

had just been like back-to-back situationships,

30:50

back-to-back, you know, four to five date situations

30:52

where you're just about to get your hopes

30:55

up and you're like, yay, maybe I like

30:57

have met my person and no, I have

30:59

not. And you're disappointed

31:01

and you're let down yet again and, you know, there

31:03

is this almost like emotional

31:05

vulnerability hangover for a couple of

31:07

weeks and then you're like, no, I'm not

31:10

going to let this get me down. I want to find love so

31:12

I'm going to get back out there. And the

31:14

cycle repeats itself. I found that

31:16

I was getting, I was

31:19

way too attached to the people that I

31:21

was matching with or the people that I

31:23

was meeting because in

31:25

them there was this whole great

31:27

future that they could unlock. You know,

31:29

if they were the one, suddenly all

31:31

my woes with dating would be over.

31:34

I would be kind of able to tick

31:36

this off my list. I could rest easy.

31:39

I would have love and great. I had done the thing

31:41

that I needed to do and I

31:43

just had this epiphany that that was

31:45

the complete incorrect attitude. It

31:48

was the incorrect attitude because anyone could come

31:50

along and be let straight through the door

31:52

into my heart, into my life because

31:55

I was so done with being single and

31:57

I was so sick of dating. love

42:00

and dating and the transition

42:02

from first meet to forever

42:05

together that looks the same. So

42:09

when you're thinking about whoever you're comparing

42:11

yourself to, because we all do, remember

42:14

that it's going to look differently for you. Date

42:17

because you really want to date. Date

42:20

because you are excited and curious and

42:22

you want to meet new people. Release

42:25

yourself from this pressure to perform

42:28

to a given timeframe.

42:31

All of this will actually help ease

42:33

your anxiety and your stress and

42:35

with that bring about much deeper

42:38

and richer dating experiences, mean

42:40

you have much better boundaries, mean

42:42

that you are much more discerning.

42:45

You're better able to say, yeah, actually, no, I don't

42:47

want to go on a second date with you or,

42:49

you know, actually I really like this guy and or

42:51

I like this person. And even if I imagine

42:54

that I'll be rejected, I'm just going to do it

42:56

anyways because I'm here to have fun. I'm

42:58

here to meet great people. I'm here to have

43:00

one good conversation at a time. And

43:03

that is all that I'm asking from the situation. And

43:05

with that, a real feeling

43:07

of liberation and freedom and flexibility

43:10

comes over you. So

43:13

I want to say thank you for listening to

43:15

this episode. If you are dealing with a little

43:17

bit of dating burnout, the thing I recommend once

43:19

again, take a break. It's

43:21

okay. It's actually going to be a really great

43:23

investment in the long run if you

43:25

have energy and if you have the

43:28

patience and the capacity to

43:30

enjoy this experience. I'm also

43:32

just sending you a lot of strength

43:34

and a lot of support. Dating is

43:36

freaking tough, especially in this climate at

43:38

this. But most of all,

43:40

I can promise that you will find love. Very

43:43

simple. If you're waiting for someone

43:45

to, you know, confirm that for you, done.

43:48

I will confirm it. You will find love. Right

43:50

now, it might just not be your time. You might just

43:52

be experiencing a bit of cognitive

43:54

and mental exhaustion when it comes to the

43:57

dating process that gets you there, but

43:59

it will come eventually. Just make sure you're having

44:01

fun with it. As always,

44:03

if you did enjoy this episode, make sure

44:06

that you are following along on Spotify. Make

44:08

sure that you're following us on Instagram at

44:10

that psychology podcast. Please feel free to give

44:12

us a five star review wherever you are

44:14

listening. And yeah, if

44:17

you have more episode suggestions, if you have feedback,

44:19

if you have your own dating burnout

44:21

experience you want to share, send us

44:23

a DM. We would love to hear

44:26

from you. And until next time, stay

44:28

safe, stay kind, please be gentle with

44:30

yourself. We'll talk very, very soon. You

44:38

know that sound. It's the sound of a friend

44:40

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44:43

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44:46

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