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Hey , there you're listening to the Other

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Side of Fear podcast , where we

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talk about how personal affairs has hindered

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your ability to take that next step

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that will get you to where you aspire

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to be . What will it take for you

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to stop playing small and start

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playing big ? Let's get into

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it , hello

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, hello . Okay

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. So today's episode is

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going to be a little bit different because

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it's just me today . Today I

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am going solo and , as

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a matter of fact , the second season

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of this podcast will

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be a little bit more like this . You

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will hear a little bit more of my voice

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, of my stories , and

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me just breaking down

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concepts , getting deeper

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into concepts that we've kind of

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already breezed

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through , I guess , in some of the conversations

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on this podcast . So

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today I just want to kind

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of address the

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so called late bloomers

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, for lack of a better

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term . You know , I

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sort of kind of , I

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guess , consider myself a late

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bloomer as well . It took me

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a while to kind of discover

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my path , discover what it is that

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feels true to me

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. It took me a while

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and it has been

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a struggle . To be honest

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, it has been a struggle . There are many times when

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I felt completely confused

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and lost , you

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know . So , for

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anyone who feels like it's

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taking you way too long

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to figure out your shit

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, to figure out life , to figure

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out your career path , to figure out what

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you're actually good at , your

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abilities , your talents , your

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competencies , whatever that

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may be , whatever that may look like , this

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is for you . You

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know , for those of us who are

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considered late bloomers

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, we take a little bit longer

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to figure out what we want and what makes sense

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for us , and some of us already

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know what we want . But we get lost

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in other people's opinions and expectations

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of us and we often feel pressured

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or rushed to accomplish certain

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goals or hit certain milestones

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in a certain time period , by a certain

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age . So

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many certaints . But

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the one thing we often become uncertain

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about in the midst of all of this is

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who we are , who you are

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separate from your family , from the people

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and environment we're used to , from

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our culture , from

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who society said we should be

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and what we should aspire

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to . And thinking

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along those lines , who

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are you ? Who are you without your

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goals or accomplishments

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? Who are you without your possessions ? Who

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are you when you stripped away that

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external identity we've all

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developed in order for us to participate

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in society , to survive this

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world , because our

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journeys were not meant to be

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assessed based on

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our accomplishments or

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what we have or don't have . It's

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so much deeper than that and I'm sure you

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all know this . But we limit

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ourselves when we strive for these

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ideals of what our lives should

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look like and then use that

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to create an assessment of our worthiness

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, of our deserving factor

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, of our value . Because

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when we can't meet the standards that has

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been set or hit those goals

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when we're supposed to , our self-worth

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is in jeopardy . And I've definitely

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been there . You know

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, personally , there were times when

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I felt like I was failing at

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something . I was failing at life . I

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was failing at figuring out my career

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. I was failing at figuring out what I'm even

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good at . I couldn't

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even figure out what I wanted to do half the time

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, to be honest , and

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I kept beating myself up because I couldn't meet some

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pie in the sky that has been placed over my head . The

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sky that has been placed over my head and for some reason I just couldn't

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reach it . No matter what I did , no matter what steps I took , I

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just couldn't reach that

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pie in the sky and

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I felt like a failure for

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the longest time , and it was super

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, super frustrating because I felt like

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and it was super , super frustrating because I felt

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like , well , what is it that I'm not doing ? What

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is it that I need to be doing ? So , yeah

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, it's a shitty place to be . You

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know , I would be thinking

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what is wrong with me ? What's

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my problem ? Why can't I finally

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get this one thing right

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? And I know for anyone that's

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been through this you begin to feel like

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a failure . You

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might even be thinking that life is unfair . You might blame yourself , you

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might blame other people . You're tired , you're stressed , you're frustrated

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. Things just

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aren't panning out the way you

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think they should , especially when you've

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done everything , right , right

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, when you've taken all

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the steps , when you've done

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all the things , when you've read all

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the books , and the list

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goes on . I'm

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sure that we're all familiar with

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the downward spiral of self-loathing

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, with a negative self-talk and questioning

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your capabilities and , on the far end

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, maybe even depression . But

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who created these ideals anyway

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? And are these ideals

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truly idealistic ? Really

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, think about it . The things that

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we were told we should want . Who does

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it serve ? What system or systems

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does it uphold ? How

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much of ourselves are we required

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to give up to attain it ? To

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live up to these ideals , how

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far outside of yourself are you

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willing to go to get it ? And

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how does your value increase

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or decrease based on

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your ability to attain it ? So

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if you find that you've been unable

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to accomplish something and it's affecting

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the way that you feel about yourself or

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maybe you have actually accomplished

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the things but somehow

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you still feel like it's just not

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enough , you still feel shitty

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about yourself I'm

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here to tell you that your value and

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your worthiness is inherent

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honey . It rests on nothing

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outside of yourself , outside of

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you simply just being

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. You are valuable , just

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because you are . You

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are enough without all the frills

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and the things we are taught to

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believe will make us enough . We

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are definitely more than the

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sum of our accomplishments

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, of what we have or don't have

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. And don't get me wrong , having

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goals and standards are great . In

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fact , goals and standards

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are necessary because

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aspiring to something to

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be better than we are today

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is essential for our growth

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and our evolution as

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a species . So wanting

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to accomplish big things magnificent

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. That

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is a part of our evolutionary trajectory as human beings to grow , to make new

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discoveries , to create

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. But the

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issue is when our identity

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becomes defined by things

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outside of ourselves

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, by our parents or family

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in general , by religious

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or political affiliations , by

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our culture . When we

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tie ourselves up with the expectations

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of others , when what we want

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becomes associated with the expectations

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of our parents and family members

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expectations

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of our parents and family members when we think we must achieve certain things in order

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to be happy to be valued and , in a broader

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context , when we stress

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about doing things in a certain way

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that has been laid out by

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our culture or any other affiliations

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we may have , whatever else

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we've attached our identities

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to , even if some of those values

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are out of alignment with who we are

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, you are going so

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far out of yourself , in

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essence , stifling parts of

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you that makes you you

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. You begin to

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separate from your

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authentic self . At

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the end of the day , only you

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know what's in your best interests

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. Only you know what feels

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right for you , what feels in alignment

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with your purpose , your passion

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or your natural inclinations

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. So if

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you're a late bloomer like myself

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, you've probably struggled

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with keeping all that external

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noise in check . I

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don't even think late bloomer

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is a good term , because we're

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all on a journey and a lot of the

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things we struggle with are

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what teaches us the most valuable

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, most profound lessons

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. So , yeah

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, a part of that journey means

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sifting through the bullshit

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to figure out what feels right

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for us . From

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what I've experienced myself , I've

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come to believe that we

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do need to experience

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the losses

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, to experience

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the definite no's

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, so

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that when the definite yes

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shows up , we

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recognize it right away . The

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thing is , we are always

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surrounded by somebody who

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is telling us what we should want , what

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would be good for us , what

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we should aspire to , and most

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of the times they truly

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are well-intended . And

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, as I said earlier , we can

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take this even further and talk about

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it at a cultural or societal

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level . And what society tells

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us is valuable by who

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is rewarded in society , who

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gets the recognition and the accolades

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, who gets to be acknowledged

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and appreciated , who gets

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seen , who gets heard , who gets

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validated . But

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we won't go down that rabbit hole

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today . But what we

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should realize is just how unique

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our individual journeys are and

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how limited we become when we allow

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others' expectations and the external

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pressures , all the

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background noise , to guide us

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. Want the things we

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think we want Essentially , when we are

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out of alignment with ourselves , with

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our passion , with our purpose with our natural inclinations , what we

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are naturally inclined to do , what we feel pulled to , what feels

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good in our heart , what

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our gut tells us . In

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the grand scheme of things , our

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journey is all about the

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experiences we create as

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souls in this human form

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. So why should we limit ourselves

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to the ideals set by others

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when the possibilities are

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so unlimited that we

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can't even think of them all

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? So the

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next time you feel stuck , go

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with the option that feels most true

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to you . Deep down

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, you already know who you are

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and what you're supposed to

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be doing . You just need

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to remember . All

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right , guys . Thank you so much for

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tuning in . If you're enjoying the

12:30

podcast , please subscribe

12:32

and share with your family and friends . Definitely

12:35

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12:37

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12:42

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we really get into it . Until

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next time , thank you .