Are you a shy person when it comes to intimacy? Are you even shyer talking about it?

Maybe something in you would like to scream your desires and fantasies out loud but you don't know exactly how? Maybe you want to talk to your lover so badly about all the things that challenge you, that disturb you, or that you would like to try out, or experience. But you just sit here in the hope that your lover is going to start the conversation first.

Ever had the feeling that you will be waiting for a while until that happens?

I am a pretty shy person myself. I need time to get to know somebody, until I can let go fully and trust them enough to let them into my private space. I respect that about myself. It usually keeps me safe.

But when I feel that I am shy because I am holding back my desires and powers so that I don’t intimitate people, or so that I am not seen as a slut - that's when I question my shyness. That's when I give my shyness a proper talk, and tell it to stop controlling me. That's when I decide to start speaking (frankly) about all those things, all the intimate stuff.

Before that, I ask myself: Why am I shy at this particular moment? What's going on in my head that makes me wanna miss a moment of growth and opportunity to evolve as a sensual being?

Most of the time it's those stories, the ones that stick in my throat.

Usually the story of being slutshamed and the feeling of guilt and inferiority that comes with it, the story of not feeling good enough as a lover, the story of not deserving mindblowing pleasures, of not wanting to feel the ugly side of shame, pops into my head.

I give those stories my forgiveness finger.

I forgive all those stories. I forgive all those people that made me feel that way. I especially forgive myself for making me feel that way.

From a place of forgiveness I can speak up and scream it out loud. Try it!

It works!

So finally you decided to talk about sex, here is my podcast on how to talk (candidly) about it as a shy person.