Ugly Babies

Ugly Babies

Released Thursday, 8th August 2024
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Ugly Babies

Ugly Babies

Ugly Babies

Ugly Babies

Thursday, 8th August 2024
Good episode? Give it some love!
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Episode Transcript

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0:00

So we supposed to start the

0:02

podcast. Ready?

0:07

1, 2, 3. Shut

0:12

up. Welcome. Welcome to

0:14

I've had it podcast where

0:16

we are a place for open minded

0:19

thinkers that like to traffic and

0:21

petty grievances as the Patriots

0:24

and the Gaytriots know the star

0:27

of our show. Her name is Pumps. My

0:30

name is Jennifer and

0:32

we just like to welcome you here

0:34

today. Right Pumps. Welcome to I've had

0:36

it podcast. That was

0:38

a newscaster voice. That was really good. Thank you.

0:40

Kind of sexy. I'm

0:43

too sexy. I see a lot of

0:45

comments on YouTube. I think

0:47

you have a lot of people that have

0:50

crushes on you. Really? Yeah. Well,

0:53

maybe I should take a little look.

0:55

Yeah. You need to do a little looky-loo. Little looky-loo.

0:57

I thought you and Kylie were going to bet it

0:59

though. Make sure I don't

1:01

pick it. We'll do that in our spare

1:03

time. Okay, Kylie. It's my understanding that you

1:06

found some rather alarming stuff on

1:08

the internet. I do. I have

1:10

an article that someone on Patreon sent me. Okay.

1:13

And it's titled, a church

1:15

is going viral for selling

1:17

plots of land in heaven for

1:20

a hundred dollars per square meter.

1:23

And the caption says, a Christian church

1:25

is turning online for selling these plots. The

1:28

pastor says he spoke to God and

1:30

he was granted permission to do this.

1:33

They have already collected thousands and thousands

1:35

of dollars. And I

1:37

just want to note on the ad, it

1:40

looks like they take Google pay, Apple

1:42

pay, all major credit cards. Is

1:50

that where we are now? That's where

1:52

we are. Here's the thing.

1:54

That is not new because

1:56

I know in all my

1:59

Scientology documentary. They

2:01

keep bank accounts for

2:04

your next life. So

2:06

you give them money and they put it in a bank

2:08

account for your next life. They just hold on to it

2:11

until you come back in your next

2:13

life. So selling plots in

2:15

heaven is right on par.

2:18

What I think when I hear that is,

2:21

okay, we got a huge grift going on, but

2:24

the bigger problem is the people buying them

2:27

that actually think that

2:29

that's legitimate. That's where the

2:32

real problem is, don't you think? Of

2:35

course. I mean, it's

2:38

so unbelievable that

2:40

people are buying non-existent

2:43

land and that there are

2:46

ads for it and there's a payment system

2:48

for it. And there's no

2:50

oversight for this. It's just

2:53

jaw-dropping that somebody, believe somebody

2:55

that says, I

2:57

got permission from God to start

3:00

selling land in heaven and

3:03

you can buy your land from me.

3:06

Right. God said it was

3:08

okay for me to sell you these plots. I

3:11

mean, it's jaw-dropping. Another

3:14

little tidbit from all my

3:16

cult work. The

3:20

Mormons, they're quote unquote prophets. They

3:22

always tell the people, I talked

3:25

to God and God told me,

3:27

like, so that, I

3:29

mean, it's like, if you're in that

3:31

kind of world, like

3:33

if somebody walked up to me and said, well, I talked to

3:35

God and God said that I need

3:37

to buy you lunch, I would be like,

3:39

that's fucking weird. But if you're indoctrinated to

3:42

it, it doesn't seem as weird. I've

3:44

told you about that girl that

3:47

used to, like babysit across

3:50

the street for me. Yes, the flowers.

3:53

Yes, God told me that I got flowers

3:55

at my front door and

3:57

I open them and there's a note. me

4:00

to send you these flowers. And

4:03

I'm just like, this is number

4:05

one, that conversation never took place.

4:08

And if it did 100% it didn't. schizophrenia.

4:11

Number two, somebody needs to get you

4:13

help, right? You need help. Like

4:16

if this is your way of like,

4:18

trying to recruit me to be a part

4:20

of your religion, it has failed miserably.

4:24

And like that stuff, like grifting these

4:27

people, I guess you're just

4:29

so far indoctrinated into all of this

4:32

shit that you think. But

4:34

here's the thing, and I'm gonna have a hot take

4:36

here. My opinion, there's

4:39

no difference from selling imaginary

4:41

plots of land. And

4:43

these mega churches that have

4:45

billions of dollars untaxed that

4:48

are still asking for money, right? It's the

4:50

exact same thing. The other just

4:52

sounds so much more obviously a rip

4:55

off, right? Where these mega churches that

4:57

have 95 branches across

5:00

the United States and take VIMMO

5:02

and have one preacher that does

5:05

everything online and they take in

5:07

hundreds of thousands of dollars

5:09

every Sunday, if not millions.

5:12

That's a total rip

5:14

off as well. So I guess a

5:17

human beings ability to

5:20

enable clear scam

5:23

artists and rip off artists is

5:26

jaw dropping to me. But the

5:29

preachers offer this, like God

5:32

will favor you if you do this.

5:34

And here's the deal. Everybody's

5:36

broken. Everybody makes mistakes.

5:38

Everybody has bad thoughts. Everybody tells

5:41

a white lie. That's a part

5:43

of the human experience. These

5:45

mega church people have figured out how

5:48

to profit off of the human experience.

5:50

So in that regard, it's kind of brilliant,

5:54

but it's immoral. It's

5:56

completely immoral. I don't know

5:58

how these people. asleep at

6:00

night knowing that what

6:03

little they're contributing to society and

6:05

how much they're ripping off their

6:08

flock and have amassed

6:11

all of this obscene wealth.

6:13

A massive. And you know, a lot

6:15

of these churches during the COVID

6:19

shutdowns got PPP money. Oh,

6:22

really? Oh, yes. Millions

6:24

and millions of dollars of PPP money

6:26

when they have the surplus of these

6:28

massive bank accounts, Catholic Church,

6:30

mega churches all applied for PPP

6:33

money. And think about how disgusting

6:35

that is that they don't pay

6:37

taxes. Yeah, that's the

6:39

biggest grift. The no taxes. Yeah. So

6:42

I mean, it's not that's egregious to

6:44

me that selling plots, imaginary

6:47

land. But I'm just going

6:49

to say, I think what these a lot of

6:51

these churches are doing to their flock to

6:54

try to make them feel better for

6:56

the human experience, for making mistakes,

6:58

for lusting after somebody, for finding

7:00

somebody attractive. Maybe somebody had an

7:02

affair. All of these

7:05

things are, you know, hurtful in the moment,

7:07

but they're not they don't make you a

7:09

bad person that you can tie your way

7:11

out of. Right. There's not

7:13

a there's not like a bounty. Right.

7:16

For forgiveness. I was just thinking

7:18

if I put that on

7:21

Instagram or whatever, whatever the platform was and

7:23

I said, I'm going to sell you this

7:25

land. If

7:28

I didn't have the land, that would be a crime.

7:32

So the church has

7:34

an exception because I

7:36

mean, I would think that would be a crime.

7:38

Like if you were on if you or I

7:40

were saying yes, by these imaginary plots, if

7:43

somebody would be a crime fraud.

7:46

America's greatest legal mind at work.

7:48

I mean, right here, the Patriots

7:50

and Patriots today, you are getting

7:52

your money's worth. This is worth

7:54

the time because counselor pumps is

7:57

identifying crimes. She's identifying exceptions. and this

7:59

is why this podcast is one of

8:02

the greatest podcasts in America. That's right.

8:04

For the Patriots, for the Gaytriots. Top-notch

8:06

thinking right here. Yep, and I just

8:08

want to throw one more thing out

8:10

there. These churches,

8:13

I guarantee you the

8:15

people that are selling

8:17

the make-believe land in heaven have

8:21

a very anti-gay,

8:25

anti-woman rhetoric from the pulpit.

8:27

Oh, I'm sure. Can rest

8:29

assured. And so how

8:31

these people are able to skirt what

8:33

every other business has to do, which

8:35

is pay taxes, when

8:37

they have institutionalized bigotry.

8:40

And this is what is so sad,

8:43

is gay people are born into

8:45

religious families and

8:48

their religious communities and their

8:50

religious families reject them for

8:53

being who they are. So I've had

8:55

it. I mean, up to my eyeballs,

8:57

as everybody knows, from the architecture to

8:59

the grifting, from the make-believe land. I

9:02

think that religious

9:04

extremism is a cancer in

9:06

this country that hurts society

9:09

and doesn't help. I

9:11

just, I, there are a lot of

9:13

people that have a faith that is

9:15

reality-based. They don't take the Bible literally,

9:17

and they genuinely want to

9:20

put a better footprint for themselves without any

9:22

expectation that somebody believed the way they were.

9:26

And there's a lot of people that I know that are like that,

9:28

and I don't take issue with that. But

9:30

with the sanctimonious, I'm on the moral high

9:32

ground. The gays can't get married. You can't

9:34

be gay. We're going to pray the gay

9:36

away. Women can't have babies out of wedlock.

9:38

You have to submit to the husband. All

9:40

of those people fuck

9:44

you. Agree. Pumps,

9:48

our ability to suck and then wake

9:50

up the next day and suck more

9:52

than the previous day is undefended. It's

9:55

unparalleled. We are the champions. If you would like to see

9:57

how bad we suck, we'd love to. Please

10:00

join us in Seattle in September

10:02

or New York City in

10:05

November for you know Just some

10:07

world-class shit-talking. That's right live live

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We've done your homework. We've

12:31

got some voice memos today. Oh, God. So,

12:33

we will start off with Ashley. Hello, ladies. Ashley here.

12:36

I have fucking had it with airplanes. I know we go over this time and time again. Recently

12:38

had a trip to Las Vegas. Blah

12:41

blah blah blah blah blah. And we're going to have a live chat with Ashley. She's

12:43

going to be here in a minute. I'm going to be on the phone. She's

12:45

going to be here in a minute. I'm going to be on the phone. She's

12:47

going to be on the phone. I'm going to be on the phone. She's going

12:49

to be on the phone. She's going to be on the phone. And

13:51

then on a plane is expected

13:54

to act the same way. Everybody's

13:56

supposed to conform. And you've just got a lot

13:58

of people that are incapable of that. They're

14:01

incapable of coexisting

14:04

and being kind and

14:06

the golden rule. Treat people like

14:09

you want to be treated. They can't

14:11

do that. But I've been on planes

14:13

with people that are throwing a fit about the connecting

14:15

flight. And I'm like, dude, they're not

14:17

going to trap you on here and make you stay

14:19

for five years. I

14:21

mean, it's like everybody gets off a

14:23

plane. Yes. And I've

14:26

been the person that has the connecting

14:28

flight. And especially when you've been sitting

14:30

on the tarmac for 30,

14:32

45 minutes, because for some reason, these airports are

14:34

shocked that a plane shows up and they don't

14:36

have a gate ready for you, which is a

14:38

whole nother episode entirely, but I digress. And

14:41

I've stood up and I have a super tight connection.

14:44

Josh and I recently experienced this and I stand up

14:46

and I said, we have a connection. And

14:48

they're like, yeah, we do too. And I'm like, okay, right.

14:51

And it's just you just kind of have

14:53

to accept it. There's about a two inch

14:55

lane that everybody has to get down, right?

14:57

To get out of the hole, to get

15:00

into the airport, to go into the next

15:02

plane. But it's the people that

15:05

want to be the boss of

15:07

the exiting on the airplane

15:10

or the entrance. Like recently,

15:12

I was getting onto a flight and I

15:15

asked there was everybody was kind of in one

15:17

single file line. And I was trying to figure

15:19

out where like the end of one

15:21

group was in the beginning of the other group was.

15:24

So I asked this guy, I'm like, are you group one or

15:26

two? And he's like, I'm group two.

15:28

And I go, okay. So then I asked the guy in front

15:30

of him and I go, are you group one or two? And

15:33

he goes, I'm group one. I go, okay, I'm going to get behind you.

15:36

So then the guy behind me goes, why

15:38

are you cutting in front of me? And

15:41

I go, well, because I'm going to

15:43

board before you. But if you want to stand in

15:45

the line in front of me, that's fine. I'll stand

15:48

behind you. Right. And he goes, okay.

15:51

Yes. So Josh and I got behind him and we just

15:53

stood behind him. Because I'm like, I don't want to fight

15:55

with him. If he thinks I'm cutting, he can win. You

15:57

know, like I'm not going to, I'm not going to. I'm

16:00

not dying on this hill. And

16:02

so I let him stand in front of me. And

16:04

then he starts going with group

16:07

one. He starts going all the way through and

16:09

the flight attendant was like, sir, you're in group

16:11

two. You need to get to the back of

16:13

the line. And I

16:16

just went on, but I was like, I'm not

16:18

gonna fight with this guy about it. If you

16:21

think I'm cutting, you win. I'll get behind you.

16:23

Yeah. And here's the deal. I mean, I

16:25

know that this is kind of off point, but when

16:28

they call a boarding and they say group

16:30

one, group two, and you've got groups seven

16:32

and eight with their faces pressed up against

16:34

the line, I'm like, it's

16:37

unnecessary. Stay back. You

16:39

can't board. Why are you crowding the lane?

16:42

What about that day that we went full

16:44

blown Patriot at the airport, the three of

16:46

us? I think we've talked out

16:48

before, but it was just so hilarious. So we were

16:50

dicking off in the airport, you, me and Kylie. And

16:53

it's like, you know, the flight to Philadelphia, wherever

16:55

we were going is leaving now. So we raced

16:57

to the gate and we get up there, and

17:00

then I'm the first in line,

17:02

then it's Kylie. Then it's you and she scans

17:05

my ticket. She goes, thank you

17:07

for your service. Ha ha ha. Patriots,

17:13

Patriots. She knew immediately.

17:15

She recognized over patriotism when she saw

17:17

it. She thanked me immediately for my

17:20

service. She knew. She knew immediately the

17:22

service we're providing. She knew we're taking

17:24

back the flag. She knew.

17:27

And the eagle. Good girl. Ha

17:29

ha ha. That bird is our bird.

17:31

It's our bird. You can't have it. No.

17:34

All right, up next we've got a voice

17:36

I know from Maddie. Hi, Jean

17:38

and Pumps. My name's Maddie and I'm a really big

17:40

fan. Okay, I'm gonna jump right in. I've

17:43

had a hat at slash hit it this week. I

17:45

went to my first pride parade this year and I

17:47

posted about it on my Instagram because it was my

17:49

first time really telling the world that I'm a lesbian.

17:51

And I had a feeling I'd lose some followers because

17:53

I'm from a very conservative town in Georgia. It's

17:56

Georgia Forsyth County and that will tell you everything you need

17:58

to know. Anyways, I was- right. By

18:00

the end of the day, I lost 30 followers from

18:02

my post. I'm really not wanting to

18:04

care about how many followers I have, but what

18:06

I do care about is how many of those

18:08

followers are assholes. So I've had it with homophobes,

18:11

but here's where I hit it. At

18:13

around six unfollows, my mother was astounded

18:15

at such behavior. So she went through

18:17

and screenshotted all of my followers so

18:19

that at the end of the day

18:21

she could review and see who unfollowed

18:23

me. Her reasoning being that if it's

18:25

anyone she knows, she would like to

18:27

unfollow them. So we hit that.

18:30

Anyways, happy pride and all my

18:32

love to my two-faith lesbians, Kylie

18:34

and Pumps and lesbian adjacent Jen.

18:38

You know that when you first

18:40

started your grievance, like my heart

18:42

just pinged so hard that people

18:44

would unfollow you because you're being

18:46

who you are. And

18:48

a lot of people say, why is it

18:50

Pride Week? That's why it's Pride Week because

18:52

you put shame on them for being who

18:55

they are. The opposite

18:57

of shame is pride,

19:00

but to know that your mother went

19:02

full gangster because that's the kind of,

19:04

that's how loyal I am. I am

19:07

just like, if you vote

19:09

against the gays and do all

19:11

the shit, I'm not going

19:14

to go along with that. I

19:16

am not going along with that. Kudos

19:19

to your mom and the story ended so

19:21

well because I just, I think that right

19:23

now is a time in

19:26

American politics where people will say, I'm

19:29

just everything's so hyper politicized, everything's so

19:31

hyper politicized. And it's like the

19:34

people that are politicizing everything are

19:36

the people that don't want everybody

19:38

to have the same. Right. Again,

19:40

so quality. Right now,

19:42

we all have to speak

19:44

out for women and

19:47

for the LGBTQ plus community

19:49

at all times and

19:51

quit being duplicitous. Like seriously, do

19:53

you want a right

19:56

to healthcare and a right to privacy

19:58

or do you want rape? victims forced

20:00

to have their rapist baby. Do you want

20:02

to be able to put an IUD in

20:05

or take the pill without it being Donald

20:08

Trump's business? Then fucking vote accordingly.

20:10

If you're a MAGA Republican, you're

20:12

in a cult. If you're

20:14

a Democrat, I don't agree with everything

20:16

the Democratic Party does, but

20:18

I agree that I want human rights.

20:22

I believe that the Republicans always

20:24

wreck the economy. Just

20:26

look at the stats, Google it because they are

20:28

not good at it. That's a huge myth. I

20:32

want people that are

20:34

marginalized to stop being marginalized.

20:36

I feel that in every

20:40

fiber of my body that

20:42

you have to advocate for

20:44

the weakest, most marginalized members

20:46

of society, that that is

20:48

the most moral thing

20:50

that you can do. Kudos to

20:53

the mom in Georgia that did

20:55

a roll call, that kept receipts

20:57

and unfollowed because you know what? I

21:00

would do the exact same thing. If

21:02

I had a gay child, hell

21:05

hath no fury like the scorn

21:07

that I would put on anybody

21:09

that was cruel to my child.

21:11

I mean, I

21:13

would feel a need to love. I

21:15

don't know that I could love my children

21:17

more, but if they were gay, I would

21:19

have to dig deeper and love them a

21:21

million fold more because I would know that

21:23

so many in society are going to be

21:26

cruel to them, but not their

21:28

mom. Not their mom. They would always know

21:30

I had their back.

21:32

Oh, a hundred percent. Oh, totally.

21:35

All right, Kylie, who's next? All right,

21:37

up next we've got dress. Dress?

21:40

Dress. Hey,

21:42

Jen. Hey, Pumps. Hey, Kylie. Love

21:44

you guys so much. I

21:46

need to just say that I

21:49

have fucking had it with straight

21:51

couples showing PDA at the gym.

21:54

I am disturbed by that.

21:56

First of all, aren't you there to

21:58

work out? Second of all, nobody wants

22:01

to fucking see that. I don't even want to

22:03

see people showing each other affection when I'm watching

22:05

porn. And third, are you trying

22:07

to make me throw up in my mouth

22:09

while I'm running full speed on the

22:11

treadmill? Stop taking mirror selfies together.

22:14

Stop hugging each other. Stop kissing each

22:16

other. Stop squeezing each other in weird

22:18

places that nobody else wants to see. Thank

22:20

you and good day. Dress,

22:24

I love you. Dress is the best.

22:27

First of all, you just could have stopped the I've

22:29

had it with, I've had it with straight couples. Right.

22:32

And that just- So many things came to mind. That just

22:35

could have ended up right there. But he brings up so

22:38

many important points and it

22:40

has been our long storied

22:42

campaign against PDA.

22:46

Hate it. Here's the thing, when

22:48

it's so overt and so staged,

22:50

you know they're covering up for

22:52

an insecurity in the relationship or

22:54

some shortcoming. Had to present it.

22:57

It's a natural, you're out and about. Somebody

23:00

puts their hand on somebody's back. There's a

23:02

peck and it's not this staged thing. But

23:04

making out in the gym, here's

23:07

what got me the mirror selfie. The

23:10

couple mirror selfie. What?

23:14

Why? Do you not have mirrors

23:16

to pose for at your house? Why

23:18

do you have to do it in public? There's

23:20

just, you know how I feel about PDA. I'm

23:23

a long anti-PDAR. But

23:26

I also love, Dris said, it made me wanna throw

23:29

up in my mouth. Cause I say that all the

23:31

time. I'm gonna throw up in my mouth. Here's one

23:33

point that we have to talk about that

23:35

was probably the funniest thing I've heard

23:38

all day is that he doesn't

23:40

even like PDA and porn. I

23:43

love that. I

23:48

want PDA free porn. Yeah.

23:52

I just want an in and out boom. Yes, get

23:54

to the nut, Kat. Nobody

23:56

wants to see any French kissing. We don't

23:58

have to have a lot of. Passion right making

24:01

out. Yeah a slobber. No,

24:03

just get in get out.

24:05

I like it. That's fantastic dress is

24:07

a star All right up

24:10

next we've got Jane Hi

24:13

pumps. Hi, Jenny. This is Jane

24:15

from Texas and I've

24:17

had it with all these crunchy moms that

24:20

I'm seeing on tick-tock talking

24:22

about how they don't go to

24:24

the doctor or take prenatal vitamins

24:26

and They drink raw

24:28

milk and they eat raw eggs Because

24:31

they think it's just super trendy like

24:33

they're fucking Amish or something. I'm so

24:35

sick and tired of seeing it it's

24:37

not healthy bitch go to the fucking

24:40

doctor and Just

24:42

a side note. I'm pregnant with my first

24:44

baby and I listen to y'all all the

24:46

time and I'm

24:49

really hoping if I play enough episodes that

24:51

the baby will hear it and They're

24:54

just gonna come out a complete bitch just like me I

25:01

Yeah, you know the whole like not going

25:04

to the doctor Thing

25:07

is it's a child listen

25:09

I believe in your freedom to choose

25:11

to do that or not but I

25:13

do think there is a pretty

25:16

large body of evidence that

25:20

Modern health care has decreased

25:22

instances of death And

25:26

it's increased life expectancy and I think

25:28

this is pretty established science now within

25:30

that Are there issues with the for-profit

25:32

health care system that we have here?

25:35

Yes Are there issues

25:37

with the state-funded health care system like

25:39

the NHS in Britain? Yes,

25:42

but I I

25:44

am NOT a person that

25:46

is Capable

25:49

of thinking that I could self-treat

25:51

something That's what gets me

25:54

about it and it kind of goes back to Covid

25:57

it's the same thing. It's like I'm gonna

25:59

get on WebMD and

26:02

I'm going to read what

26:04

do you need to do with pregnancy? What's

26:06

a do? What's a don't on WebMD? And

26:08

so I'm going to say I know

26:11

better because I read

26:13

WebMD and I got on TikTok

26:16

and they're saying you could eat raw eggs. I don't know

26:18

if you can eat raw eggs when you're pregnant or not.

26:20

I can't remember. Sounds like you probably can't, but who cares?

26:23

That's not the point. The point is if

26:27

you have an illness and

26:29

you diagnose yourself on the

26:31

internet, then you have to

26:33

stick with it. Like, okay.

26:35

So it's just like the fact

26:38

you had a great idea during

26:40

COVID. Let's have a Facebook hospital.

26:42

Everybody that doesn't want healthcare, hospital

26:44

care, medical care, science for

26:47

COVID. Then you meet in the Facebook

26:49

hospital tent and you can

26:51

WebMD it with your Facebook doctors and see

26:53

where that gets you. If you're in, be

26:56

in, but don't be, I'm going to diagnose

26:58

myself. I'm going to do all this shit

27:00

from TikTok. And then when something

27:02

goes wrong, then blame healthcare. But

27:04

here's the deal. At the end of the day, you want

27:07

to do that. You don't, you want

27:09

to go it. It's a free society. And

27:11

I believe that if you don't want to

27:13

go get healthcare, you don't have to go

27:15

get healthcare. But when

27:17

shit happens, really serious shit

27:20

happens, then you decide to

27:22

honor the science. The rest of us are all kind

27:24

of like, yeah, it's kind of been

27:26

there all along. Right. It's not a mystery. Pumps,

27:34

our annual Thanksgiving trip is coming up

27:36

where you and I both take our

27:38

families to Mexico. Are you worried

27:40

about this? No, because

27:42

I know you've discovered via tour. That's

27:45

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30:16

right, Kylie, who's next? We're going to

30:18

play another rendition from our friend Nick

30:20

G, and it's the

30:22

Memaw remix of Like a Prayer. Nick

30:26

G's been busy. Humps

30:28

is a mystery.

30:31

My nana just wants

30:33

to bone. I

30:36

see you hit that

30:38

vape, and

30:40

it feels like home.

30:45

When you hit that vape, I

30:48

feel so fucking queer. I

30:50

touch my double D's and

30:52

shave my husky's hair. In

30:54

the midnight hour, I can

30:56

feel her power. I take

30:58

it from the rear to

31:00

show me my eye care.

31:04

I can't.

31:10

It's just the

31:13

creativity and the accuracy. Absolutely.

31:16

The husky came in, the double

31:19

D's. I think

31:21

we need to collab with this guy

31:23

and drop an album. You need to be

31:25

doing dancing. I think, you know

31:27

what? Some crazy ass

31:29

trumper drop an album. She

31:31

was, what's, Lara Trump? She

31:34

sucks. We're moderately kind of

31:37

cool. Kylie,

31:39

do you think we should drop an album? I think we

31:41

should drop an album. With him. He's the lead singer, and

31:43

Pumps and I are the dancers. Obviously.

31:46

Can't they auto tune our voices because

31:48

Pumps and I are prolific, horrible singers.

31:51

Pumps, go ahead and sing the real Like a Prayer

31:54

for the listener. I just want to say, I love

31:57

Like a Prayer. It's one of my favorites. Why don't you do a little? I

32:00

can't. Just real quick, just like a prayer. Come

32:02

on. Just like a

32:04

prayer. Your voice will

32:07

take you there. Just

32:09

like a prayer. Nick

32:19

is a 10 out of 10. I love him. We

32:21

wanted to make some theme songs. I

32:23

just, a ringtone. I hate to change

32:25

yours from her, but I just love

32:27

all of his songs. They're so good.

32:30

Oh my God. When you hit that vape, you're

32:32

shaving your Husky. It's all

32:34

the high notes. Double D's. Everything's there.

32:36

Taking it from the rear. Which

32:41

every Patriot and Gatoriot knows is

32:43

your favorite way to take it.

32:47

100%. I mean, this is, I

32:49

like it. Talk about established science.

32:55

You don't even have to go to the Facebook hospital to figure that

32:57

out. No, you don't. You

32:59

absolutely do not. All right, Kylie. Last

33:01

one. All right. This one is

33:03

a grievance that we have gotten a

33:06

lot and never addressed. So this is

33:08

from J. Quellen. I

33:11

have fucking had it with these new

33:13

parents posting pictures on Instagram of their

33:15

babies and slapping a big

33:17

fucking emoji face on the baby's face to

33:19

protect their privacy. Now I get it. You

33:22

don't want your baby's face all over the

33:24

World Wide Web, but no one wants to

33:26

see a picture with an emoji over someone's

33:28

face. If you're

33:30

concerned about your child's privacy, then

33:33

don't fucking post that shit. Even if

33:35

your account's private, clearly you don't

33:37

trust your friends. Just save

33:39

that fucking picture and send it to Nanny

33:41

and Pappy. And that's

33:43

it. No one else needs to

33:46

see that shit. I have fucking had it. I've

33:50

had that same grievance. I'm like, even

33:52

if it's a big star, I'm like, a baby looks like that

33:55

picture for about 30 seconds. I mean, it goes so

33:57

fast. It's not like you're going to be able to.

34:00

to identify a baby

34:02

from any other baby they all look alike.

34:05

When they all look like newborns, there's nothing that

34:07

exciting about any of them. But I have noticed

34:09

the face thing. I'm just like, why

34:11

put the picture on there? What do you, why?

34:13

I've noticed the exact same thing. And

34:15

I think the exact same thing. Do

34:18

not post your baby

34:20

on the internet if you do

34:22

not want people to know what

34:24

your baby looks like. It's an

34:26

easy fix. It is the easiest

34:28

fix of all. It, I

34:31

mean, it's just, it's not even complicated. No.

34:33

I don't want you to see my baby, therefore I'm not putting my

34:36

baby on social media. Problem solved. You

34:38

know what I'm gonna start doing? I'm

34:40

gonna start posting pictures of you and me. I'm

34:43

gonna put a little emoji, a

34:45

Siberian husky emoji over

34:47

your face to protect

34:50

your, to protect your. To

34:56

protect your identity. Yeah. I

34:58

mean, it's seriously, it's so stupid.

35:01

It's, there is such an

35:03

easy fix for it. But to act like

35:06

your baby is so important

35:09

and you have to cover their identity with an

35:11

emoji, it's just, it's again,

35:14

another layer of

35:16

performative internet bullshit that if you

35:18

don't like that shit, then just

35:20

don't participate in it. Right. It's

35:23

so easy. It's just, I can't even

35:25

tell you how easy it is. And if somebody

35:27

doesn't want a picture of their kid on the

35:29

internet, I respect that. I totally get it. You're

35:31

the mom, you're the dad. Don't put the pic

35:33

of the kid on the internet. But

35:35

to kind of tease the kid

35:37

on the internet with a heart eye

35:40

emoji, I've had it. I've had

35:42

it. I've completely had it. And that's a great

35:44

one that we hadn't thought of. That is, it

35:46

is an absolutely fantastic

35:49

one. And I think there's an argument to

35:51

be made that like, you know, all of

35:53

these kids get all of these pictures put

35:55

on the internet of them without

35:58

their consent. I don't post my. kids

36:00

on my page that much because

36:02

now they're older and they don't care but they

36:05

would get I would put up an image up

36:07

and my kids would say when they were in

36:09

junior high high school I don't like that we

36:11

please take that down and I immediately would right

36:13

because it's you know

36:15

that's the right to not want to be on the

36:17

internet but yeah I think that's

36:20

that's crazy and I've seen this a lot recently

36:22

I'm like to you bitch you

36:24

live in Oklahoma City

36:27

you are not like

36:29

some dignitary undercover

36:31

covert spies kid no

36:33

that's nobody cares nobody

36:35

cares nobody cares nobody

36:38

cares but well I

36:40

would say I do

36:43

know a person that

36:45

always likes to point out ugly children

36:47

to me oh yeah that's true and

36:49

her name would

36:52

would be similar would be the exact

36:54

same person of America's greatest legal mind

36:57

is also you guys she

36:59

is sharp as a tack when it comes

37:01

to recognizing ugly kids were out and about

37:03

or an image yes now that kids ugly

37:08

kids not very care yeah all right

37:10

listener thanks for tuning in we're gonna

37:12

continue this conversation over

37:14

with our cult on

37:17

patreon pumps tell them we will see

37:19

you next Tuesday or Thursday or both I'm

37:27

out of it with that

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