0:00

Listen up, Patriots, Gaytriots,

0:02

and Natriots. We have

0:05

a new podcast that has dropped. It's

0:07

called IHIP News. It's Monday through Friday,

0:09

every day, 15 to 20

0:11

minute hot takes on the political

0:14

landscape of the United States of

0:16

America, always served with a side

0:18

of petty grievances. We

0:21

are on all the available platforms,

0:23

Apple, Spotify, Google, whatever you get

0:25

your podcasts and YouTube. Please

0:27

go rate, subscribe, and review

0:29

so that we will chart upwards

0:32

with America's greatest legal mind, pumps,

0:34

what does an eagle say? Kaka. A

0:38

little bit more enthusiasm. Kaka. That's it.

0:42

That's the patriotism that this

0:44

country needs right there. So

0:50

we supposed to start the

0:52

podcast. Ready?

0:57

One, two, three. That was

1:00

a thunderous clap. Really was.

1:02

I mean, you're back. I'm back. You're

1:04

back in action. You've got the flag. You've got

1:06

the eagle. Kaka.

1:09

Patriots, Gaytriots, and Natriots.

1:12

Welcome to I've Had It podcast.

1:14

I'm Jennifer. I'm Angie. She's

1:16

America's greatest penile shamer, but that's neither here

1:18

nor there. Pumps, what have you had it

1:21

with? What I've had it

1:23

with is butt

1:25

dial. On both ends,

1:28

when you have your contacts and you're trying

1:30

to call someone and you accidentally just barely

1:33

touch the name that you don't want to

1:35

call and it

1:37

immediately rings through. It doesn't even

1:39

ring on your end. And the person knows

1:41

you called and then they call

1:43

you back. And it's just,

1:46

uh, it's exhausting. And same on the

1:48

other end. So I

1:50

just think Apple, they can do everything.

1:53

Just make it where it has to connect before it shows

1:55

up on Call or ID because I feel like

1:58

there's a lot of butt dialing going on. I'm an A. So

2:00

I'm like first

2:02

in a lot of people's phones. So

2:04

I get random weird butt dials. And

2:07

then just this week, I butt dial

2:09

my ex-husband. It's

2:11

just, here's the thing. What happens

2:13

is before when I've

2:15

done it to someone, maybe a relative or friend

2:17

I haven't talked to that I really need to

2:19

call, then you butt dial them and they call

2:22

you back. And so you're in that position. Do

2:25

I take one for the team and act like I

2:27

called and get full credit for the call? Or

2:30

do I just dodge and let it go to voicemail? So

2:33

in my life, I have been like, oh

2:35

yeah, I was just calling to check in when I'm really not.

2:38

It was really a butt dial. Okay. So

2:40

pump the brakes. You butt dial somebody,

2:43

have no desire to talk to them.

2:45

Correct. They call you back and

2:48

you lie and say that

2:50

you just wanted to catch up with them?

2:53

I have, yes. I mean, I'm getting better

2:55

about just not, but I have done that

2:58

many, many, many, many, many times. And

3:01

you're like, oh, hey, glad

3:03

you called me back. Yeah. Great

3:05

to talk to you. I was just thinking

3:07

about you. See, this is why you're everybody's

3:09

favorite because I would never

3:12

do that. I would

3:14

never even dream of doing that. I

3:16

would say I just would send

3:18

the text butt dial as they were calling

3:20

me back. But now what I do, if

3:23

I accidentally butt dial

3:25

someone, I immediately proactively before

3:28

they even see it because people check

3:30

their texts before they do their call

3:32

log. They're going to see

3:34

a text for me that says, sorry,

3:36

butt dial. You're

3:39

proactive. I'm fending it off from the jump.

3:41

There's no need to call me. Don't

3:44

even respond to this text. You don't even have

3:46

to do the thumbs up to it. Like this

3:48

was not meant to happen.

3:50

So let's everybody move on with our

3:52

lives because I cannot imagine

3:56

butt dialing somebody that I absolutely don't want

3:58

to talk to. them calling me

4:01

back and me feigning interest. It's

4:03

hard in their lives. It's really,

4:06

really hard. When's the last time you did that? That

4:08

I actually talked to the person? Yeah. Where you

4:10

lied like a lying liar. Probably

4:14

six months ago. I mean, not long enough.

4:16

I think. So you're newly in recovery from

4:18

this. I'm newly in recovery from the codependence

4:21

of just an owning that I butt dialed.

4:23

Now, if it's a close friend, like

4:26

somebody that I'm in contact with a lot, then

4:29

I'll just say butt dial. I butt

4:31

dialed you the other day and you called me and you're like,

4:33

Oh my God, I didn't even see that you called. And I

4:35

said, it was a butt dial. And you said, okay, bye click.

4:38

And we hung up on each other

4:40

and it was fantastic. That's what I

4:42

like about us. And I didn't feel

4:44

the need to send you the preemptive

4:46

butt dial because if

4:50

you call me back or didn't call me back,

4:52

we have to arrive at the studio together to

4:54

film this podcast every single day. So

4:56

I wasn't worried about it, but if it's somebody

4:58

I haven't spoken to in a few years, especially

5:00

if they're a yakker, if I

5:02

got a yak mouth on my hands and

5:05

I've delivered a butt dial to them, it

5:07

is a preemptive butt

5:09

dial. And I don't even, I won't

5:11

even put sorry, but dial, it will just say butt dial

5:13

not hope you're doing well.

5:15

I will not feed that stray cat for

5:18

all the tea in China. I just, I

5:20

cannot do it. No, I've done

5:22

that before where it's somebody that like getting

5:25

on the phone with them is like, you want

5:27

to just start crying immediately. And then you want

5:30

to start plucking your eyebrows out and your eyelashes,

5:32

because it's going to be so torturous.

5:36

And then you butt dial them and

5:39

your fucking stuff. And you start feeding that stray

5:42

cat. I do. I do. And I, I

5:44

don't want to, and I'm miserable the whole time. But

5:46

the minute it happens and

5:48

the minute I hang up, I'm just like, Oh,

5:51

maybe Apple's fixed it. Maybe they won't call back.

5:53

And then and if it's

5:56

immediate, I feel like I have to answer

5:58

that. Now I have my phone. You don't.

6:00

You silence and you put sorry, that

6:02

was a butt dial. I know.

6:05

And then you just move right on down the road.

6:07

I know, but you know, I'm better. I'm

6:10

getting better. We'll keep an eye on this. We'll keep an eye

6:12

on this, but I just, I

6:14

know it's my fault, but I want to blame

6:16

the phone. Yeah. All right. Let me tell

6:18

you what I've had it with. Okay. I've

6:21

had it with my dogs

6:24

because they beg me for food and this really cute, adorable

6:27

French bulldogs with that perfectly smushed face. And

6:32

I'm eating a meal at my kitchen island

6:34

and it's really delicious. And

6:36

I'm like, God, this food is so good. And I look down, they're

6:38

not whimpering. They're

6:41

not barking. They're just looking

6:43

up at me like, hello, hello, mom. That

6:46

human food looks so

6:48

good. And I'm

6:50

of the school of thought that it's not fair to them

6:53

that they only get to eat

6:55

when I decide they get to eat and I decide what they

6:57

eat. And

7:00

I think about that a lot about how

7:02

dogs are just captive to when

7:04

we feed them, what we feed them, et

7:06

cetera. So I think, you know, I

7:09

only have a finite amount of time with these dogs. So I'm

7:12

going to go ahead and just share my meal with them. Cause

7:14

I'm not a cold hearted person

7:16

contrary to my podcasting personality.

7:19

So I prepare this bite for them

7:22

that I curate and I really think I want to

7:24

put a lot of effort

7:26

into this bite because that's how much I love

7:28

these dogs. So I make this perfect bite for

7:30

them. I spend a lot of

7:32

time and care to make sure it has the sauce on

7:35

it or extra cheese or what have you. And

7:37

I go down and I give it to them and put it in

7:39

their mouth. They swallowed the

7:41

whole thing whole and

7:44

then resume right back to the pitiful begging

7:46

phase. They don't chew it. They

7:48

don't savor it. They don't enjoy

7:51

it. There's barely any lip licking.

7:54

It's unbelievable. And I think if I'm taking

7:56

this time to share my meal with you

7:59

and I'm making you the most perfect bite.

8:02

The least thing that you can do, Cha

8:04

Cha and Tubby, is chew it, swallow

8:07

it, and lick your lips. Show me

8:09

that you appreciate this. It's

8:12

probably the only time that

8:14

a French bulldog fails, is

8:16

the immediate swallowing, no

8:18

chewing, and then they're right back at it. And

8:20

then the whole cycle starts again. Then

8:23

it's like, do I give them another bite? Do

8:25

I go through this again because they're little faces,

8:27

they want the bite. So

8:29

then you're guilty the whole time you're eating. I

8:31

mean, as we all know, I've said it before,

8:33

I have sat in my car and eaten my

8:35

food to avoid the

8:38

stares from the dog because

8:40

my older dog is morbidly

8:42

obese and the vet's on

8:44

me about it. And so I do

8:46

give him people food and

8:49

I'm really trying not to. So I will sit

8:51

in my car, in my garage, like a nut

8:53

ball. And eat your food. And

8:55

eat my dinner. So you won't hurt his feelings. So I

8:57

don't hurt his feelings. He

9:00

doesn't chew either. Sometimes

9:03

if Josh and my

9:05

schedules aren't synced up, I'll

9:07

get home from work, exercise, and then I'll

9:09

eat my meal by myself. And then he

9:11

gets home maybe an hour or two later.

9:13

And I hear him in the

9:15

kitchen fighting with the dogs. And

9:18

he really worries about

9:21

like, I just feel so

9:23

bad for them because we decide everything they do.

9:25

We decide when they go on a walk, we

9:27

decide when they go to sleep, we determine everything

9:29

for them. And we talk about this all the

9:32

time, Josh and me, about how the dogs are

9:34

so beholden to us and what

9:36

mitigating factors we can introduce into their lives

9:38

to make them feel more ownership in their

9:40

own lives. So Josh

9:43

will prepare bites for them. And then I

9:45

hear him get mad. No, I'm

9:47

not going to give you anymore. You just swallowed

9:49

it whole. You didn't even act like you liked

9:52

it. Could you at least chew it? And

9:54

he's like, and he's like, no, don't even look at

9:56

me anymore. And I hear it and I'm dying laughing

9:59

because here he is. Watch

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Xfinity Mobile requires Xfinity Internet. and

32:00

the public display of affection at a

32:02

grocery store while buying pasta is

32:05

straight up sociopathic and weird. And I'm certain

32:07

that all four of those couples that I

32:09

saw that late night at Albertsons,

32:12

I bet every single one of them are divorced. I

32:14

bet you they talk to each other on Facebook. I

32:16

bet you they also carry Stanley cups. And I bet

32:18

they're all Trump voters. I

32:21

don't know that for real, but I have a pretty big

32:23

hunch on all of it. If you're holding hands at a

32:25

grocery store enough, like gag, gag, gag.

32:30

All right, listener, speaking of

32:32

voting and elections,

32:35

we had the opportunity to sit

32:37

down with a fellow by the

32:39

name of President Barack

32:42

Obama. And we were able

32:44

to play our world famous

32:46

game hosted by

32:48

Mima and me called Had

32:50

It or Hit It. And he

32:52

is every bit, everything

32:55

that you want him to be plus more

32:57

in person. So now we will share our

33:00

game of Had It or Hit It with Barack

33:02

Obama with you, the listener. All

33:04

right, Patriots, Patriots and Patriots. We are

33:06

still working on taking the flag flag

33:09

back and the Eagle and we've recruited

33:11

none other than President Barack Obama to

33:13

help ignite some patriotism. Barack, how are

33:15

you today? I am great. Thank you

33:17

so much for the wonderful work you

33:19

guys are doing. Really proud

33:21

of you and say it back. Yeah,

33:24

say it a little bit, folks back up. We

33:26

like to play a game called Had It

33:29

or Hit It. Of course, and I think

33:31

I'm really good at this game. Okay, all

33:33

right. I feel like I'm gonna nail it.

33:35

Oh my God, welcome to Had It or

33:37

Hit It. I would hit it. I

33:39

would. Had It. I

33:41

hit it every day, sometimes twice a day. All

33:43

right, Had It or Hit It tan

33:46

suits. Oh, hit that.

33:50

Listen, I looked remarkable in

33:52

that test. You did, you looked

33:54

great. I really did. And obviously

33:56

some people weren't ready for

33:59

it. But but any

34:02

of folks out there were

34:04

thinking about a dancer, especially in the middle

34:06

of summer, go for it. Live a little.

34:08

The thing that I like about that particularly

34:10

is because I'm kind of petty and I

34:12

could tell the Fox News journalists resting heart

34:15

rate went up about 20 to 25 beats.

34:18

And I thought that's an added bonus

34:20

to looking so spectacular. There's

34:22

a little envy clearly. I couldn't pull that off.

34:24

That's right. I'm sure that's what they're thinking. Okay.

34:27

Had it or hit it. All men's. Oh,

34:30

hit that. Yeah. All men's my

34:32

favorite snack. Although a weird story evolved around the only

34:34

having seven of them. Yes. Kind

34:37

of psycho. Yeah. Yeah. Was

34:39

that made this front of mine was

34:42

making a joke. Apparently the journalists didn't

34:44

understand that it was a joke. And

34:47

so people come up and ask me all the time. Say,

34:50

do you really only have self of

34:52

seven all ones? As if I

34:54

was sitting there. No, no. But but

34:57

all men's good for it. And you know, it's a healthy

34:59

snack. Yeah. I'm

35:02

in milk. Do you like them and milk? You

35:04

know, I'll be honest with you. If I'm going with

35:06

milk, I'll just drink milk. But you know, I don't

35:08

I take my coffee blank. You know, I know it's

35:10

been a while since I just had a cold glass

35:12

of milk. Yeah.

35:15

Yeah. I don't know. I

35:18

don't know. I don't know. I don't know.

35:21

I don't know. It's a cold glass of milk. Yeah.

35:23

Yeah. That's not really. I

35:25

don't know. I'm not seven. But

35:28

I have no and I don't want the milk.

35:33

I'm all for milk. OK. How

35:36

that oriented team. USA

35:38

basketball hit that. I

35:41

had a chance to to spend time with

35:43

them out in Vegas. Steve

35:46

Kerr friend LeBron

35:48

and Steph. I've

35:51

known them for a really long time. And and

35:54

in fact the head of USA basketball

35:56

is the former chairman of the Joint

35:58

Chiefs of Staff. who

36:01

was he and I worked

36:03

together in my second term and wonderful

36:05

man. And so I went

36:08

out there and had dinner with the whole team and

36:12

had been rooting for them ever since and

36:14

to watch them bring back the goal in

36:16

Paris was spectacular. Do

36:19

you still play? No, I hung it up. Fifty-five,

36:23

I figured now I'm really pushing

36:25

my luck and I'm going

36:28

to pop my achilles and

36:30

I decided, you know, being an ex-president

36:33

in a booth, not cool.

36:36

Yeah, the tan suit. First of all,

36:38

trying to get the tan suit over

36:40

the booth. That would be the problem.

36:43

Yeah, so we skipped that. Okay, how

36:45

did or hit it, Bratt Summer? Hit

36:48

it. You

36:51

know, I just put out my playlist and

36:54

365 is on it and it

36:57

is a great album. So

36:59

I get

37:01

people to question sometimes whether I'm actually

37:04

listening to all this music as I've

37:06

testified before I am. I

37:08

get input from my daughters, who undeniably

37:11

are a little more

37:13

up to speed on a

37:16

day-to-day basis. I've got a bunch of young

37:18

staff who occasionally will

37:20

make recommendations, but not

37:23

a jolly XCX. She knows

37:26

what she's doing. All right,

37:28

how did or hit it, unregistered voters?

37:30

Had it. Had it.

37:34

But for those of

37:36

you who are unregistered and are not thinking about

37:39

voting, I haven't

37:42

permanently had it with you. I want

37:44

to invite you into making sure that

37:46

we have a country where

37:48

women are respected and their health care choices

37:50

are respected,

37:53

a country where we

37:55

make sure we're helping people

37:57

make a living wage. making

38:00

sure that we're taking care of the planet and trying

38:03

to do something about climate

38:06

change and a place

38:08

where you know, we

38:10

treat everybody equally and with respect and

38:13

dignity and All those

38:15

things are on the ballot and especially

38:17

young people. I always tell them You

38:21

know you wouldn't let your

38:24

Grandparents make decisions about what you wear or

38:27

or what you listen to So why do you let

38:29

them make decisions without any input from you about

38:31

the kind of country that you're going to

38:33

be living it? I agree.

38:36

Yeah, so if in

38:38

fact There

38:40

are people out there who are still wondering.

38:42

Okay, I'm sold. I'm going to Go

38:45

out there and make my voice heard but don't know how to

38:47

do it. You can go to I will vote calm I

38:50

will vote calm and you'll see

38:52

just how easy it is to vote All

38:54

right had it or hit it project But

39:00

we we've had with the

39:02

ideas there in this for those who aren't

39:05

familiar with it, but you guys been educated

39:08

This this is an agenda that's been put together that

39:10

would Soup

39:12

to nuts Take away

39:15

rights and freedoms that so many

39:17

of us take for granted that would

39:19

dismantle vital programs and services like the

39:21

Department of Education It's

39:25

not the kind of America that you

39:27

know, I think We'd

39:29

want to live in If

39:31

you are a patriot and you believe in

39:33

freedom. Well yeah, part of the

39:35

freedom that we You

39:37

know, we have fought and died for is the

39:40

freedom to make sure that everybody's treated equally Yeah,

39:43

women have control over their own

39:45

bodies that everybody has the

39:48

the opportunity to Get

39:51

a job and work hard and make something

39:53

of themselves and and that when they're down

39:55

on their luck or something happens You

39:58

know, we as a community come together and take a month.

40:00

And that's not

40:02

what Project

40:05

2025 stands for. We sure can't have it in

40:07

the White House. Did

40:09

you see at the DNC,

40:11

the Trump Hotel, where they

40:14

put a light up that said Project

40:16

2025 HQ, or

40:19

gov it? I didn't

40:21

see it and I have nothing to do with it.

40:25

I thought it was a high quality troll.

40:27

I really did. Okay, last

40:29

one. How did or he hit it? Kamala

40:31

Harris and Tim Walz for president and

40:34

vice president. We have to hit Kamala

40:37

Harris to become our next president, our

40:40

first woman president. We've got to make

40:42

sure that Tim Walz, football coach, teacher,

40:46

all-around good guy who

40:49

has amazing experience as

40:51

a congressman and a governor. Those are the

40:53

kinds of people that we want

40:56

leading us to create the kind of country that

40:58

we're all looking for. A country where everybody

41:01

gets a fair shot, everybody

41:04

is treated with dignity and respect, and

41:06

a country where we're building a

41:08

better future for our kids. So

41:11

I could not be more excited about this

41:13

ticket and I'm going to be

41:15

out there working hard. And I hope everybody

41:17

else is too, including in

41:20

the great state of Oklahoma. We will. I don't

41:22

think we're going to turn it blue. You know

41:24

what? But we're looking at maybe Oklahoma County. You

41:27

know, these things start just a little bit

41:29

at a time. I mean, there was a

41:31

time when, before

41:34

I ran

41:36

for president, Virginia hadn't

41:39

elected a Democrat in a really long

41:41

time and now Virginia

41:43

is solidly Democratic. Georgia,

41:47

nobody would have dreamed that Georgia would

41:49

elect two Democratic senators. Well,

41:52

and behold, it happened. And the reason is because people

41:54

mobilize and voted. And it doesn't always happen the first

41:56

time, but you've got to start some. Well,

41:59

women across. the United States,

42:01

particularly in red states, where

42:04

we have a complete abortion ban. We're pissed and

42:07

we're organizing and we're gonna vote and we're

42:09

gonna vote for Kamala Harris. And

42:11

Tim Walz, President Obama, thank you so much. I got

42:13

such a great time and I'm so grateful your voices

42:15

are out there. Keep it up. All

42:18

right. Thank you. Thank you. Well,

42:20

well, well, haven't we come a

42:22

long way? Is

42:25

there anything that you can say

42:27

about Barack Obama that really captures

42:29

his essence? I mean, he is

42:32

charismatic. He's hot. He's well-spoken.

42:34

He's so attractive. It's like

42:36

a vortex of just

42:38

charisma. Dare

42:40

I say it? I don't wanna say it. Say

42:43

it. He's just eating

42:45

up with big dick energy. I

42:48

mean, it's just, it's radiating, radiating, radiating

42:50

off of him. You

42:52

know, I'm glad that you said it because

42:55

our listener is used to. That kind of

42:57

thing. That everything with you, because you haven't

42:59

been laid in three to four years, always

43:01

gets down to penises and

43:03

sizes and whatnot. It does seem somewhat blasphemous. I kind

43:06

of feel like that one. I know, I know, I

43:08

know, I know. But

43:10

he does have big D energy. No question.

43:12

Big time. No question about

43:14

it. But what I really enjoyed so

43:17

much about sitting down and talking to

43:19

him is how important it is

43:21

to vote and how

43:24

former presidents that

43:26

encourage every voice to be

43:28

heard and they want to get as

43:30

many people to vote as possible is

43:33

a healthy form of democracy. And

43:35

you oftentimes hear on the right, they

43:37

wanna raise the voting age. They wanna make it

43:40

harder to vote. They wanna make it less time

43:42

to vote. And I believe

43:44

it's Australia. It's like mandatory voting. In

43:46

a lot of countries in Europe, on

43:49

election day, you get the entire day off. In

43:53

this country, we have one political party

43:55

who wants to make it really, really

43:57

difficult for a lot of its citizens.

44:00

citizens to vote. And the

44:02

reason for that is because they don't have

44:04

the numbers. Right. They only

44:06

win by skirting the system. So it's

44:08

so important when we have presidents

44:12

that for the permanent record, won

44:14

the popular vote and the

44:16

electoral college and has big

44:18

D energy and can rock a tan

44:21

suit. All of the things. Telling

44:23

everybody to go out and vote.

44:26

That is healthy. That is a

44:28

wonderful form of democracy. And I

44:31

love that he is out stumping

44:33

for Kamala and encouraging everybody to

44:35

vote. And I just, I

44:38

cannot wait until November and Jen Ziers. I

44:40

know we have a lot of Gen Z listeners. Make

44:42

sure you're registered. Get each

44:45

other to vote. Brow beat each other to vote. Make

44:47

it fun. TikTok while you vote.

44:49

Instagram. Make it a

44:51

big national thing that all

44:54

Americans are doing. And

44:56

one thing I'll just say, if you live in, I

44:58

know Texas, maybe another state too,

45:01

that they're purging the roles

45:04

so that it's harder for people to vote

45:06

that haven't voted in the past recently. So

45:08

check your voter registration. Oh, all

45:10

the, there's always one side.

45:12

They accuse everybody of cheating. But that's

45:14

just, they're the ones who are always

45:17

trying a bunch of trickery, a bunch

45:20

of sorcery, a bunch of fuckery. And

45:23

the biggest thing that we can

45:25

do is the vote has to

45:27

be too big, too rig. We

45:31

need to give Kamala Harris. So the codies of

45:33

the world that wrote that email and these,

45:36

you know, meanwhile, doesn't have that much

45:39

time in her advanced stage in the

45:41

country. And she would like to see

45:43

the first female president. And so listener,

45:45

thank you so much for joining us.

45:48

Make sure you're subscribed across all platforms

45:50

to both of our podcasts. And

45:52

we are on tour Seattle, New York,

45:54

Australia, coming up in January. Click our

45:56

link in bio and pumps. Tell them

45:59

we will see you. Tuesday and Thursday.