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You know, it's funny. We've been diving into some pretty intense stuff lately.

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And you come along with this course, Mastering the Hostage Within.

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And at first I was like, whoa, are we going there? But the more I think about

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it, the more I realize how much our thoughts, especially those sneaky negative

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ones, can really hold us back. Yeah, no, it's true.

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It's like, have you ever thought of it like a hostage situation?

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Oh, wow. That's how this course kicks off. And it makes sense.

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You know, the author was a hostage negotiator.

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So he's drawing on that experience. That's wild.

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I mean, to think about it that way. He compares those negative thoughts to being

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stuck in this deep, dark tunnel. It's like they're the captors.

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Exactly. Yeah. And they're preventing us from really living the life we want

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to live. And he gives some examples that I think a lot of people can relate

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to, like not going for that dream job.

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Oh, because you're terrified of failing. Exactly.

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Or, you know, maybe staying in a relationship that just isn't working anymore

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because the thought of being alone is just. Too much to bear. Yes.

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It's like those fears become our captors, keeping us stuck.

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And here's the thing. The more we give those thoughts power,

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the more they become a self-fulfilling prophecy.

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Oh, totally. You start believing the hype. Right. Like, I'm not good enough.

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I'll never be able to do that. Pretty soon, you're living proof of those limiting beliefs. It's like those

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inner voices become our own personal jailers.

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Exactly. It's like they have the keys to the cell and we're handing them right over.

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Have you ever felt that way, like truly held hostage by your own negative thoughts?

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Can you think of a specific time? Oh, absolutely.

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Early in my career, I was offered this amazing promotion, Big Step Up,

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and I was like, I can do this.

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But then the doubts crept in. They swarmed in like a SWAT team.

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You're going to fail, they said. You're in over your head. Everyone's going to see you're a fraud.

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You know, the usual suspects. Oh, tell me about it. They're always lurking in

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the shadows, right? Always. I was practically paralyzed by it.

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So what did you do? Did you take the promotion? I almost didn't. But here's the key. And this is something the course really hammers home.

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We always have a choice. OK, I love that. We might not be able to stop those

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initial thoughts from popping up, but we have the power to choose how we react

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to them. That's such a powerful reminder. It's so easy to feel tracked by our thoughts, but we do have a choice.

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Now, this is where the course introduces the idea of a SIEMP. A SIEMP? Yeah.

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It stands for a self-empowering and enabling management plan.

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So what is a SIEMP? OK, so picture this. The Canadian government...

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They have these crazy detailed plans for every kind of emergency, right?

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Floods, fires, even zombie apocalypses. Zombies? Really? Maybe not zombies,

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but you get the idea. They're prepared. A SIEMP is like having that same level of preparedness for our own minds. Okay, I'm intrigued.

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So instead of waiting for a negative thought emergency, we're taking proactive

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steps to prepare ourselves. Precisely. We're building up that mental resilience so those negative thoughts

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don't catch us off guard. And the first step, he says, is to do a personal SWOT analysis, right?

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Like strengths, weaknesses, opportunities, threats.

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But I thought that was just for businesses, you know, like corporate jargon.

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Right, right. But it makes so much sense in this context, doesn't it?

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I mean, I guess so. Think about it. When we know our strengths, we can use them.

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And when we acknowledge our weaknesses, we can, you know, work on them or find

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ways around them. So we're not letting those weaknesses hold us hostage anymore.

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Exactly. So we've got our SWOT analysis. We're getting to know ourselves,

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the good, the bad, and the ugly. Now what? How do we actually start changing those thought patterns,

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you know, like rewiring the system? Well, knowing yourself is huge, right?

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But it's what you do with that knowledge.

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This is where things get really interesting. He talks about creating new associations.

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Okay. And specifically associating things with pleasure instead of pain.

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Ooh, I like where this is going. It's kind of like, remember Pavlov's dog?

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Oh, yeah, the whole bell and drool thing. Exactly.

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Except instead of drooling, we're talking about training our brains to connect

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positive feelings with things we might usually dread.

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So like instead of dreading the gym, you start looking forward to that post-workout high.

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Exactly. He actually uses that very example, the gym, because let's be honest,

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most people associate exercise with pain, exhaustion.

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It's no wonder they can't stick with it. Oh, I'm the queen of starting and stopping

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a gym routine. It's a vicious cycle. But imagine flipping the script, right?

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What if going to the gym made you feel powerful, energized, healthy? Okay, I'm listening.

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It's all about changing that internal dialogue, the story you're telling yourself.

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Mm-hmm. And he talks about how he actually did this himself.

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He used to hate going to the gym. No way, really.

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Yep, hated it. But he completely transformed his relationship with exercise

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by focusing on those positive outcomes. You know, feeling strong, feeling confident.

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He started small, set achievable goals, like 10 sit-ups a day,

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nothing crazy. Okay, I can do 10 sit-ups. That's manageable.

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Exactly. And he kept a journal. To track his progress, celebrate those small wins.

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That's something I recommend to a lot of clients, actually. Journaling.

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I've heard that before, but I always thought it was like dear diary kind of stuff.

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What's the big deal with journaling? It's not just about tracking what you ate

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or how many steps you took, though that's part of it.

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It's about uncovering those hidden thought patterns, the ones that might be

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sabotaging you without you even realizing it. Okay, so it's like shining a light on those sneaky negative thoughts.

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Yes, because you start to see them, you know, in black and white.

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It's eye-opening. So once you see them, you can start to challenge them. Exactly.

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And this leads into another really cool concept from the course,

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the idea that life is empty and meaningless.

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Whoa, hold on a minute. Empty and meaningless? I thought we were trying to be

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more positive here. Hear me out. He's not saying life is actually pointless. Okay, good, because that would be a real downer.

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What he's saying is that we get to choose the meaning we attach to things.

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It's not about the event itself, but how we interpret it. Okay,

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so it's like one person spills their coffee and laughs it off.

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Another person has a total meltdown.

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Exactly. Same event, different meaning. And he gives this example of waiting

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for a text back from someone you're into. Oh, the agony.

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Right. You're checking your phone every five seconds, driving yourself crazy with what ifs.

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They're not into me. I said the wrong thing, blah, blah, blah.

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We attach all this negative meaning to their silence. And for what?

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We've all been there. The reality is their phone probably just died or they're busy.

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We don't know. So we're creating all this drama in our heads for no reason.

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Exactly. We're assigning negative meaning to something that might be totally neutral.

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So what do we do? Just pretend we

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don't care. Not exactly. It's more about creating space for possibility.

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You know, instead of immediately assuming the worst, we can choose to see the

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situation as empty and meaningless. Until we have more information. Okay, that makes sense. So it's not about suppressing

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our emotions. It's about choosing how we respond.

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Exactly. Yeah. He used this approach himself when he was waiting to hear back

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about his speaking engagement. The waiting was killing him. And he kept picturing all the reasons why they might reject him.

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Ouch, I've been there. It's brutal. So he would literally say to himself,

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life is empty and meaningless. Almost like a mantra. A mantra to silence those inner critics.

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It helped him detach from those anxious thoughts and refocus his energy. I love that.

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So it's about interrupting those automatic negative thought loops before they spiral out of control.

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It reminds me of a time when it's like those experiments with the dogs,

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you know. Oh, right. The ones where they. They kept getting shocked and they couldn't escape.

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Yeah. And eventually they just gave up. And even when they could escape later,

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they just didn't. It's heartbreaking. Because they had learned to be helpless.

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Exactly. Learned helplessness. It's a real thing. And he's saying we can experience

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that in our own lives, too. Absolutely. If we've had enough setbacks, enough knocks, we start to believe

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we can't change anything. Even when we can, we don't see it.

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It's like we're trapped by our own minds, you know. Hostages to our own sense

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of powerlessness. A hundred percent. But the good news is, just like we learn helplessness, we can learn resilience.

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So there's hope. And this is where I see the connection to faith and gratitude.

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Oh, tell me more about that. Well, if learned helplessness is feeling powerless,

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then faith, gratitude, those are about taking back control.

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Choosing to believe in a different outcome, even if you can't see it yet.

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Right. And realizing that even when things are tough, we still have choices.

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Choices about our attitude, what we focus on. It all comes back to choice, doesn't it?

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And speaking of choice, he also talks about self-compassion,

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which feels really important here. Oh, huge.

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Because it's so easy to beat ourselves up, right? The inner critic is working

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overtime most days. Tell me about it.

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We focus on our mistakes, compare ourselves to others. It's existing.

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Like we expect ourselves to be perfect and when we're not. Which is always, by the way.

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Exactly. Then we really double down on the self-criticism. It's brutal.

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But he's saying, hey, what if we treated ourselves with the same kindness we'd offer a friend?

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Because we'd never say those things to someone we cared about,

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right? Right. And this isn't about making excuses. It's about recognizing we're all works in progress.

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We're all learning, all messing up sometimes. And that's OK.

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We're allowed to be human. He actually tells this story. It's really powerful. About a time he was working

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on this really intense case, hostage situation, lives on the line.

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Oh, wow. That's high stakes. And he starts doubting himself, his skills, wondering if he's in over his head.

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Even with all his experience. It just goes to show we all have those moments.

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We're not alone. Not at all. And in that moment, he reached out to a colleague, you know, just to talk.

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Someone who gets it. And it made all the difference. Just having that support.

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Reminded him he's not alone. Exactly. And that's a big takeaway from this whole

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course, you know. We don't have to do this alone. Reach out to friends, family, a therapist, whoever you trust.

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Because isolating ourselves, that just makes those negative thoughts louder.

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Yeah, sure. It's like giving him a megaphone. So as we wrap up this deep dive, what's one small step our listeners can take

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today? What's one action they can start with to challenge that inner hostage taker?

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You know, I think it's as simple as just noticing those negative thoughts when

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they pop up. Like hitting the pause button on autopilot. Yeah.

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Ask yourself, is this thought even true?

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Is it helpful? What's the evidence? And then challenge it. Look for a different perspective.

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Because we always have a choice. We can choose to stay trapped or we can choose freedom. Love that.

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So to our listeners out there, remember, you are not your thoughts.

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You have the power to choose a different story. You hold the keys to your own freedom.

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This course is a reminder that we're all capable of creating a life we love,

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a life filled with purpose and joy. It all starts with mastering that inner world. So good.

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And there you have it, folks, our deep dive into mastering the hostage within.

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Keep exploring, keep questioning and keep diving deep. We'll see you next time.