0:05

So I guess around midnight, we head back to my place

0:08

and we went up

0:10

onto the roof, and this is

0:12

where our lives changed forever. I

0:15

had leaned up against the skylight

0:18

that was on my roof, and

0:21

you know, shortly after Aaron came

0:23

to lean up against it with me, and

0:26

the weight of both of our bodies cracked

0:28

the skylight and we fell through, fell about

0:30

fifteen feet onto a stairwell,

0:33

and I was knocked out and in pretty

0:35

bad shape. That was

0:37

Aaron and Jason's third date.

0:40

They fell fifteen ft through a skylight.

0:43

They'd only been out a few times before

0:45

that happened, but both of them felt

0:48

a really serious connection and

0:50

maybe even the beginnings of love. But

0:53

neither of them knew what could or

0:55

should happen after an

0:58

accident like that. I'm

1:00

Joe Piazza, and this is

1:03

committed. Jason

1:34

and Aaron are both comedians and performers.

1:37

The two of them had crossed paths in New York

1:40

City, where Jason was doing both improv

1:42

and stand up, but they didn't really

1:44

connect until Jason moved to Los

1:46

Angeles, where Aaron was based. That's

1:49

when he got a gig writing tweets for

1:52

Steve Harvey, which was a thrill

1:54

because I'm a white guy and to get

1:56

by Steve Harvey to write and his voice

1:58

was was an honor. And uh,

2:00

that's what was I was doing when I

2:03

started dating Aaron out here in Los Angeles.

2:05

I was an assistant to make money,

2:07

a personal assistant to make money, and

2:10

I did comedy as well.

2:12

We just kept running into each other

2:14

at shows. You know, we run in the

2:16

same circles. Being in the comedy word world

2:19

here in l A. It's not like, you know, it's

2:22

not like it's a huge community. He really

2:24

didn't give me at the time of day,

2:26

and then he was like talking

2:29

to some blonde girl. I was running a

2:31

show at the time, so I was busy,

2:33

he was very busy whatever, and so

2:35

I just remember thinking, like, that guy is

2:37

a douche back, and

2:39

so at that moment in time, did

2:42

not like him at

2:44

all, but she did. So

2:48

Aaron did what any self respecting

2:51

lady would do. She forgot

2:53

about it and she started dating someone

2:55

else. But then two

2:58

years later, Jason comes up

3:00

to it a show and

3:03

I remember thinking, that's that guy that

3:05

was like such a douche before, and

3:07

now he's talking to me, that's weird. And

3:10

then he started following me on Instagram. Classic,

3:13

classic move, and we would

3:15

start each other about posts that we

3:17

would do. We had a fun bid at the

3:19

beginning where we would say, this is art two

3:21

very stupid posts that we would do, and

3:24

that just became like a running gag between us.

3:26

But that's really how we started

3:28

talking was over Instagram.

3:31

Yeah the better dating sites

3:33

in my opinion, Yeah, the best dating site I think.

3:37

So one night, Aaron went to one of Jason's

3:39

shows that was sort of kind

3:41

of their first date, but not

3:44

really where

3:46

it wasn't you know, like comedians, they

3:49

loved to like, hey, when they're interested

3:51

in the girl they love, Hey, I got a show

3:53

on Friday. Why don't you come out to the show and then

3:55

we'll hang out afterwards, which is

3:57

really just a way of saying we

4:00

were audience an audience, and I

4:02

have to get five people in the show where I can't

4:04

do my set, you know. So that's like what comedians

4:06

like to do. So I don't count those dates.

4:09

I count our first real date as our hike. Okay,

4:11

so our first date was a hike and I

4:14

had already worked out that morning and

4:17

I went home and tried to change my clothes

4:19

and looked like I hadn't worked out already.

4:21

And then we went on a hike that I thought was going

4:23

to be an hour at the most, and

4:26

we just kept hiking and hiking and

4:28

we were it was like a five hour

4:30

start to finish. I was

4:33

so hungry. I

4:35

was so hungry, and we like

4:37

walked to this little cafe. Yeah,

4:39

this is in Griffith Park, the Trails Cafe,

4:41

if anyone is familiar with it,

4:44

and then we went there at the end to get something

4:46

to eat. I wanted so much food. I wanted

4:48

everything on the menu. There's not a lot, but

4:50

I wanted all of it. And he was like, oh, I think

4:52

I'm gonna get like an Americano.

4:55

And I was like, oh god, I

4:57

can't. I can't get I know

4:59

I would have, but I was trying

5:01

to not. I was trying to, you know, be

5:04

even. I wasn't trying to be like, okay, well I

5:06

need forty five things.

5:08

So I got a freaking coffee

5:12

and then I ate so much food later that day.

5:14

But it was it was fun. It was yeah,

5:17

it was like four or five hours like aar instead

5:19

of us. We just kept hiking because it

5:22

was so much fun talking with her and

5:24

and you know, people watching and

5:27

exercising together, and that was it

5:29

was great. I knew like I

5:31

was starting to have real feelings

5:33

for her because hanging out with it was

5:35

just so easy and fun. So

5:38

that's it. Oh and then later that night I had

5:40

a show that I invited

5:42

her to that I invited her too, but I felt

5:44

like we just spent five hours talking and hiking.

5:47

It was okay to invite her to a show. I

5:49

can't agree to go to a show

5:52

on the same day that we just like spent all

5:54

days together, because doesn't that show

5:56

that I have nothing going on in my life?

5:59

But was like life is short? Who cares?

6:01

So I ended up going to his show

6:04

that night, so we spent pretty much the whole day

6:06

together. Yeah. I thought

6:08

it was great that she ended up going to the show early

6:10

before anyone. I got there earlier. I didn't

6:12

realize it was one of those pretense start times.

6:15

I just got there early. There was no

6:17

traffic. That never happens. Yeah, and

6:19

I not to too my own horn, but I did pretty

6:21

well on stage because

6:24

Aaron doesn't intimidate me. I love

6:26

performing for I mean I do it for now,

6:28

you know, in the living room. So I felt like it was

6:30

a really good day that Aaron was a

6:32

part of and I felt like I could beat myself.

6:36

Yeah, it was fun. We could have stopped

6:38

touching each other. That was new. I had never

6:40

dated or even kind of dated the

6:42

person that I was like, oh I gotta

6:44

touch them. Yeah, I mean we're we

6:46

were very you know, polite

6:49

and respectful during the hike. I didn't make

6:51

a move, but you know, after a couple of drinks

6:54

that night, both of us are like, get over here.

6:57

Yeah it was. It was a

6:59

really good start to something really

7:02

fun start. But

7:04

like you heard in the intro, their

7:07

third date went completely differently.

7:12

It was their third date that changed

7:14

everything more

7:16

after a quick break. So

7:30

flash forward to your third date, totally

7:33

different experience. God, I

7:37

love and hate that this is a part of our story.

7:40

Yeah. I bought tickets for

7:43

us to go see a band called the Me

7:45

First and the Gimme Gimmes, And

7:47

they're like a sco punk

7:50

cover band and

7:52

they were doing like covers

7:55

of Christmas songs. And

7:57

I bought two tickets for her, and I was like, you

7:59

know, I'm gonna take you out that night. We'll get something to

8:01

eat before we'll go to the show, and

8:03

then you know, maybe later that night you can come

8:05

back to my place and we'll go up on the rooftop and

8:07

look at the stars because we had access

8:10

up on my roof, and so that's

8:12

what happened. She came over around six, We went

8:15

to get something to eat, and then we went to

8:17

the show and we were having such a good

8:19

time dancing and again a lot

8:21

of touching, a lot of touching, one

8:24

couple said. One lady said

8:26

that she thought we looked really in love.

8:29

Remember that, I did remember that. And we said

8:31

we're brother and sister. Really,

8:35

yeah, so yeah, we're brother and sister. And then and

8:38

then when she walked away, we started making

8:40

out. So that was like the

8:42

I don't know, it was fun. Me and Aaron

8:44

were on the same page with with everything,

8:46

and it was a fun show and I felt like it

8:49

was a real date that I was taking her

8:51

out on. And so I guess

8:53

around midnight, we head back to my place and

8:57

we went up onto the roof and

9:00

this is where our lives changed forever. I

9:03

leaned up against the skylight that

9:05

was on my roof and

9:07

you know. Shortly after, Aaron came

9:10

to lean up against it with me, and

9:13

the weight of both of our bodies cracked

9:15

the skylight and we fell through. I

9:19

fell about fifteen feet onto a stairwell,

9:22

and I was knocked out and in pretty

9:24

bad shape. But Aaron wasn't knocked out.

9:26

She just fell with me, and then I

9:29

streaked out when she saw what happened. I

9:31

landed in front of the stairwell and

9:33

Jason landed on the stairwell when

9:35

I like, I don't know if I ever actually was

9:38

knocked out, but you know, probably

9:40

stunned for a second. I had. I

9:42

just like looked at my hands and I had blood

9:45

all over my hands. And I was immediately

9:47

like scared because I looked

9:49

like my pants

9:52

were covered in blood. Like I was just like bloody,

9:54

and I was like, I don't know what's where it's coming

9:56

from. And then I saw Jason and I

9:59

knew. I knew to get help because he was unconscious,

10:02

and so I just started screaming for help.

10:04

Thankfully, neighbors were in there,

10:06

like the neighbors in the apartment building

10:08

were there, so they came out and called

10:11

nine on one and got me. Kind of, I

10:13

I just it's like you just like start

10:16

moving like. So I was like, can I get

10:18

up? And so I was able to get up, and I

10:21

just started trying to find

10:24

someone to open their door. And so

10:26

when they did, they kind of like set me down and

10:28

had me like stop moving just in case

10:31

something was wrong. I didn't know, so

10:33

at that point I wasn't near Jason,

10:35

and the paramedics got there really

10:38

really fast and took Jason

10:41

away in an ambulance, and

10:43

they told me that he he said that he couldn't

10:46

feel his legs, and

10:48

then they took me away in an

10:50

ambulance too, just

10:54

to make sure that nothing was going

10:56

on internally. They just I had

10:58

a cut on my head um

11:01

that needed stitches, but other

11:03

than that, they just needed to run tests. I

11:05

injured my te leven and t twelve vertebrae

11:08

really displaced in and

11:11

didn't sever, but really stretched

11:13

and tore my spinal cord.

11:15

During that surgery, I got spinal

11:17

meningitis. And

11:20

I don't remember the next month because

11:24

it hit me so quickly that I don't

11:26

have any really recollection of what

11:28

was going on. And when I started coming

11:30

to, I was confused.

11:32

I misidentified my family.

11:34

I thought my mom was my aunt. I

11:37

was having weird dreams. Aaron

11:40

immediately wanted to see me, but I just

11:42

I wasn't in a good shape to see at that

11:44

time. Yeah, So

11:47

it was just really a weird time

11:49

for us because or for me, you

11:51

know. I I didn't

11:54

know if we were

11:56

one, It didn't matter what we were. But two,

11:59

I was like, I felt

12:01

so connected to him that I wanted to

12:03

be there for him. And I had

12:05

been able to see him a couple of times

12:08

before the infection really

12:10

got bad, probably like the

12:13

second and third day after the accident,

12:16

I was able to go see him and talk to him,

12:18

and I just I

12:20

was afraid he would blame me for it.

12:22

I was just like nervous about

12:25

him, like what he would feel or

12:28

how he would feel toward me, especially

12:30

because I wasn't as badly

12:32

injured and he

12:35

was so positive and sweet.

12:38

And then when the infection got really bad and

12:41

I was told I couldn't come see him anymore

12:44

and I couldn't talk to him. His

12:46

his phone was off, I couldn't. I

12:49

just started being like, what is I don't

12:51

know, I don't know what to do. I felt

12:53

so alone and scared and

12:55

worried there was a time that he

12:58

really could have died, and it will us

13:01

just like a lot of I

13:04

cried for forty days, like I'll never I

13:06

was like I cried for forty days,

13:08

for forty nights, and I

13:11

just didn't know if if it was ever gonna

13:13

be okay, if we would you know what would

13:15

happen to us. But

13:18

even though that didn't really matter, I just I couldn't

13:20

help but think about it because I I already

13:22

felt like I loved him, but that felt

13:25

crazy. It

13:27

was three months before Aaron and Jason

13:30

finally saw each other again, and

13:32

it was very scary

13:35

or like eye opening, maybe it's a better

13:37

word. And I wasn't really myself

13:40

at that point, was I? Yeah,

13:42

not completely? But it was so fun to

13:44

watch him slowly become

13:47

himself again, even

13:49

though he had been through so much, and

13:53

slowly come out of the

13:55

hospital into rehab, into

13:57

a another rehab

13:59

and then only into his apartment, his

14:01

new apartment with no roof

14:07

and he was wheelchair accessible. I

14:09

would do cognitive therapy,

14:12

I would do physical therapy. I do

14:14

you know everything to you know, cover all the bases,

14:16

because you know, I had head trauma

14:19

and I had gotten over a spinal

14:21

infection. Plus

14:23

you know, I was a paraplegic, and so there

14:26

was a lot of therapy that I needed to go through

14:28

to get back. So slowly I was coming

14:30

back. And that's when I really remember Aaron

14:33

visiting me. Was that that California rehab.

14:36

Because I was cognitive

14:38

enough, I was awake enough,

14:40

I was strong enough to get have

14:42

visitors, and she would serve

14:44

visiting me every week, and I really would look

14:46

forward to her coming and seeing me,

14:49

because you know, I had other friends and come

14:51

see me. But Aaron was there

14:53

that night, and I

14:55

had already started having feelings for her when

14:57

it happened, and so for her to come visit

15:00

me meant a lot. I

15:03

don't remember saying this, but my mom said

15:05

this at the wedding, our wedding

15:07

that, you know, a California rehab. When Aaron

15:09

started to visit, I said to her, I hope

15:11

she keeps coming back because I like her. And

15:14

I don't remember saying that, but it and

15:18

it's a lie, no, but no,

15:20

it was. It's true. You know, like anyone

15:24

who knows Aaron will agree with me

15:26

that she's a wonderful woman,

15:28

has such a great positive energy

15:30

to her, and it's just a ray of sunshine.

15:33

So that every time she came and visited me, she

15:35

made me feel good

15:38

and made me feel special and loved,

15:40

you know, even before we said I love you

15:42

to each other. Just her

15:45

coming to visit me every week with the bouquet

15:47

of flowers and spending time with me was meant

15:50

the world to me. And I knew what I

15:52

wanted when I got out of rehab that I wanted

15:54

to continue seeing her because

15:56

she had proven to me that she was an

15:58

incredible person and worth you

16:01

know, giving my love too well.

16:04

And I still I'm over here, like are

16:06

we dating? What is this?

16:08

Is this? Like? Should I be dating other

16:10

people? Like what? You know? And

16:12

there was a day that we were having a

16:15

lot of fun and we were laughing,

16:17

and I remember Jason was laying

16:19

in bed and I'm just like, he's like, you're

16:22

six ft. He had

16:24

dropped from like a hundred eighty pounds

16:26

down to like a hundred and twenty pounds, so he's

16:29

like a very very skinny version

16:31

of himself. And so we're laughing,

16:33

We're having a good funny moment. He

16:35

went, I'm gonna do it, and I was

16:37

like what and he like pulled

16:40

himself up and he kissed me,

16:42

and I was like, oh my god, we're

16:44

dating. I think we're dating, but

16:50

but you know, like it was definitely not

16:53

the most important thing during that

16:56

time, but it was this little

16:58

moment of being like, you are still

17:00

that person that I want to kiss

17:03

and not just like talked to

17:05

about my recovery. Like it felt

17:07

like the charity case. Yeah,

17:10

we're we're We're still liking

17:12

each other. So that

17:14

was that was when I knew I was like okay,

17:16

game on, and I knew

17:20

that I really was starting to fall in love

17:22

with her. Was Easter was but

17:25

I was in rehab during Easter

17:27

and Aaron came to visit because she'd come on Sundays

17:30

to visit me, and she said,

17:32

Hey, do you want to go into the courtyard. I

17:34

hit eggs for you and

17:36

I brought a basket if you want to do an Easter egg

17:38

hunt? And I said, of course, I want to do

17:40

an Easter egg hunt. And she we

17:43

went downstairs and she had hidden eggs

17:45

in the courtyard and this old

17:47

man was trying to find him before Jason could find

17:50

him. Yeah, I was like, back offul Man. But

17:53

it was. It was then I realized

17:55

that not only was she

17:58

funny and bright and good

18:00

lucking, but she was also really

18:03

kind and generous

18:05

and thoughtful. That you know,

18:08

even though I was in rehab on Easter

18:10

doesn't mean I can't do a little

18:12

Easter in hunt Um. And she made it

18:14

fun and she made no pressure and

18:17

and and that's when I realized, like, oh, I'm

18:19

falling in love with this woman. So what

18:21

was that like to have your relationships

18:23

sped up? So I mean,

18:26

I don't know if it's sped up, but it's just is

18:28

it different? It was falling in

18:30

love different because of this or was

18:32

it not. I

18:34

think if we didn't already have feelings

18:37

towards each other before the accident

18:39

happened, it would have been a different story. But

18:41

I think both of us mutually liked each

18:43

other. And

18:45

unfortunately, I guess, you

18:48

know, tragedy and trauma can

18:50

either split people apart

18:52

or bring them together. And

18:55

I'm just, you know, lucky enough that the

18:58

girl I was dating at the time has

19:00

such a great heart that she

19:03

wanted to come see me and wanted to keep

19:05

supporting me and wanted to still be there for

19:07

me, And so I feel like, yeah,

19:10

yeah, Like by the time I was out of

19:13

the hospital and back into my real

19:15

world, I was like, I

19:17

want to, you know, spend the rest of my

19:20

life with this woman, because what else

19:22

could we go through. There's

19:25

nothing really else that would top

19:28

the life threatening danger

19:31

that we both went through. It's not like I felt through

19:33

a skylight and then she came to visit me the next

19:35

day. It's like we both went through the same thing,

19:38

and we both remember that night the same

19:40

way, and so yeah, I knew it. Once I

19:42

was back on my feet, so to speaking,

19:44

that I wanted to buy her a ring because like,

19:47

there was nothing else in my mind

19:49

that would prove to me that she was the right

19:52

one for me. She had already proven to

19:54

me that over and over again. So I

19:56

felt like it did speed up, but I wasn't I

20:00

and I feel hesitance about it. I didn't have any

20:02

regrets when I asked her to marry

20:04

me, because it's

20:07

shitty, hard times like this that really

20:09

show you the type of person that you are, and

20:12

Aaron showed me that she's a really good person.

20:15

Well, and and I'll say I thought

20:18

a lot about what if I would have fallen

20:21

through a skylight with one of my ex boyfriends

20:23

or one of just another random

20:26

guy I met on some

20:29

dating app. What in the world

20:31

would that have been like versus Oh, no,

20:33

I think I love this person and

20:36

I think it's sped up

20:38

so fast that I

20:40

was nervous that something stupid

20:43

would something

20:45

stupid would like try to break us

20:47

up, like the fact that you

20:50

know, we don't always agree

20:52

on how the

20:54

laundries folded, you know, stuff like that, But

20:57

I like to crumple it up and throw it in the Cornerand

21:03

no, but I thought, oh, we are so

21:05

bonded together. Are we

21:08

going to be so bonded

21:10

that we miss some of If

21:13

there's red flags just in our personality?

21:15

But I think we both surrounded ourselves

21:18

with therapy with friends

21:20

and family. That kind of

21:22

helped, at least for me, slow

21:25

down, my hey, just let him

21:27

figure out what's going on with him and

21:29

his body and his journey,

21:32

and you just focus on you and

21:34

figure out, is this the man

21:37

outside of the trauma? Is this the

21:39

man that makes you a better person?

21:42

I think, yeah, if it was the wrong person, I would

21:44

have been like, I'll help you get through this whatever

21:46

way you can. I hope to see you have

21:49

a great life, and it

21:51

was Jason, I want to get you through this

21:54

and then I want to be with you forever. Jason's

21:58

proposal to Aaron didn't come all

22:00

at once. It couldn't. He just

22:02

didn't have the capacity for it at

22:04

the time. So it came on in little

22:07

drips. We

22:09

were driving home from some like

22:11

comedy show that we had just

22:14

seen and Jason goes, so,

22:16

if I was the last guy on the planet,

22:18

would you marry me? I

22:22

was like, oh, yeah,

22:25

yeah. I just remember being like, oh

22:27

my gosh, wait, what like is he What's

22:30

going on in this man's brain? And

22:32

so it was like it was like maybe a month

22:34

later, Jason's mom asked

22:36

me for my parents phone number just

22:39

in case of an emergency, and I

22:41

was like, oh, interesting, an emergency.

22:45

And then Jason casually one day was like, so, like,

22:47

if you were going to get a ring, what size

22:49

would it be? And I was like, oh,

22:51

baby boy, I love it. I love you

22:53

so much, and so I

22:57

mean, like I love it,

23:00

like you know, being in a wheelchair, my

23:02

mobility is limited. I can't

23:04

be as sneaky as

23:07

I can't blame oh, like if

23:09

I wasn't if I wasn't paralyzed, I would

23:11

have, you know, like you would invite me up

23:13

into your apartment at some point, and

23:16

you couldn't do that because you had stairs,

23:18

and so I would have like asked your

23:20

roommates or like found

23:22

a ring and measured it, you know, without

23:24

you knowing. But I didn't have those options,

23:27

so I just had to ask you straight up, what's

23:30

your ring size? Baby? Oh?

23:33

So that's fair. Yeah. So

23:36

the proposal story begins in the same

23:38

place that they had their first high date, in

23:41

Griffith Park. And

23:43

so we were like going up to Griffith

23:46

Park and there was a lot of traffic and

23:49

yeah, getting up there, and then there was a tourist

23:51

bus of students, about a hundred

23:53

students up there. This is before COVID.

23:56

This is like right before before going

23:58

a few months before. Yeah, but there's this like

24:00

a hundred students stuff in this area,

24:02

and I, you know, like I wanted to propose,

24:05

I had a ring in my pocket, but you

24:07

know, there's a hundred people around us.

24:10

So eventually I was like, how do even go

24:13

over here where there's not a lot of people

24:15

and we can see the sunset better? And so

24:18

we went over there, and she sat

24:20

on my lap and and then

24:22

apparently I was like rubbing a hole. He

24:25

was rubbing my arm so instantly.

24:27

I can't even tell you what he said because I was

24:29

like, I was like, I think you

24:32

need, like you have to tell him

24:34

that this is hurting. He's being really sweet.

24:36

Maybe should wait till he's done. This hurts

24:39

so bad. I wonder what he's saying.

24:41

What is he because like he can't get

24:43

down on one knee. So I was sitting on his

24:45

lap, and I'm like, so the cues

24:48

aren't happening. Like I'm not like,

24:50

oh, it's happening. I'm just like, oh, this man's

24:52

being really sweet. And I don't think he's

24:54

proposing, because it's kind of like chaotic

24:56

around us, right, But I was saying sweet

24:59

stuff he was saying. I starting to tell

25:01

her how important she

25:04

was to me, how how

25:07

loved and special she made me feel,

25:10

you know, at rehab and

25:12

after my accidents, and how I

25:14

couldn't see myself going on without

25:17

having her in my life. All the while rubbing

25:19

a hole and rubbing deep

25:22

into her tissue. So he

25:26

was just nervous. And and then he pulled

25:28

out this like little one. What. I

25:30

always love this part because little

25:32

wooden box. So he pulls

25:34

out this little wooden box that's the shape of

25:37

a of an air pods holder,

25:40

and I was like, is

25:43

this so beautiful air? I really

25:45

was like, so I did not think

25:48

that this was actually happening, and like, just

25:50

like, if this is AirPods, I want to freak

25:52

out. It was

25:54

not. It was a ring and it

25:56

was beautiful. And then I said yes, and then

25:58

we kissed, and then we had a stranger take

26:01

our photo that is so dark you can't

26:03

really see it because it was the sun was setting

26:05

and before I got the new iPhone,

26:08

so we got a picture, but

26:10

you know, hey. Then we went to Musso and Frank's

26:12

and told maitre d there that we just got

26:14

engaged, and got to the Champagne

26:17

we told everyone everybody we could

26:19

see that. We just told everyone.

26:21

Like we were walking down Hollywood Boulevard. We

26:24

met a goat that night named Dodger,

26:26

and we told his owner that we got

26:28

engaged. We weren't telling everybody. Yeah,

26:30

And then we went to a bar after Musto and

26:32

Frank's and told everybody there. And

26:35

I don't remember getting home. I remember

26:38

getting home and it was horrifying. So

26:41

she got me home safe and I woke up the

26:43

next morning gone were

26:46

I know him a gauge, But how the heck did we get

26:48

home? That's the only

26:50

I think, one of the only times I've ever blacked out

26:52

from drinking because I was happy

26:54

that she said yes and that she was going to be with

26:57

me. That we you know, I

26:59

did not I did not stop the bartender

27:01

from giving me more drinks, and

27:03

some of them are free, so I'm not gonna say none of that.

27:06

Yeah, I love this. I love this,

27:08

So tell me about planning, planning

27:10

the wedding. This is where

27:13

COVID happened. COVID

27:15

happening is always a time, a

27:18

good time for a break, right,

27:21

because everything always goes sideways after

27:23

COVID happens. We'll be

27:25

right back. Yeah.

27:48

I proposed to her in January,

27:51

and if you guys were

27:54

you know around that time. It was about

27:56

March that the world

27:58

shut down and then my rehab

28:01

center in Florida started shutting down, and

28:03

and Aaron came out to visit

28:05

me for a week. And it was that

28:07

week that every even

28:09

Florida, if you can believe it, was shutting down from COVID

28:13

and so we decided

28:15

we had to go home, and when

28:17

we did, l A was a ghost town. So

28:20

so in the time between we us

28:23

getting engaged and Jason

28:26

leaving for rehab in Florida,

28:28

so that was like February was

28:31

the day after Valentine's Day. It was an awful Valentine's

28:33

Day present. But in that month. In that

28:36

month, I had pretty much

28:38

planned everything. I'm a I

28:41

don't I haven't thought about my wedding

28:43

for my whole life. I'm a I

28:47

would say quick, decisive

28:49

decision maker when it comes to stuff

28:51

like this, because I'm like, I'm a basic

28:53

bitch. I know I want a white dress, I want

28:55

a pretty place, and I want to get it done. So

28:58

I was like, let's do this. We found

29:00

a venue, I got addressed, I

29:02

had we had a date, and my bridesmaids

29:05

they had their outfits. Everything is

29:07

like ready to go for August,

29:12

right, yeah, August, and

29:15

then all of this shut

29:17

down. Everything happened and I was like, Hey,

29:20

this was just gonna be a couple of weeks, maybe a

29:22

month. It'll be totally

29:24

fine. So that wedding eventually would

29:26

get canceled, and

29:28

we decided that based

29:32

on a lot, Like so Jason

29:35

had like a little surgery at

29:37

some point before the pandemic, and

29:40

like they wouldn't let me back there because

29:43

I was just, in

29:45

the nurse's words, just his

29:47

girlfriend. And I

29:49

was like, I was like, I was

29:51

like, so I really was so angry, and

29:54

I was like, I can't like if

29:56

COVID happens, and like again we didn't

29:58

know what it would be like, but

30:01

I was like, we have to get married just

30:03

for like the non romantic

30:05

side of like the visitation rights

30:07

of hospital stuff, Like that's a reality

30:09

now for us, and I was not going

30:11

to be told that I couldn't visit

30:14

my husband in the hospital, which now like

30:17

hundreds of thousands of people have been told that. So

30:19

I would feel, you know, during COVID

30:21

that was the real thing. So so we just went ahead

30:23

and got Courthouse married in July

30:28

and Santa Barbara. It was really beautiful,

30:31

Santa Barbara Courthouse is gorgeous and

30:34

it was kind of funny too. We we had

30:36

our family on zoom. Melissa Aarond's

30:39

maid of honor and best friends. She was

30:41

our witness and she held a phone up so

30:43

our family could see us get married, but

30:45

it was still COVID, and so the

30:48

courthouse clerk handed us

30:50

the marriage certificate. We had to sign

30:53

on a six ft poll It

30:56

was the clipboard at the end of it. So

30:58

we had to sign this, and then he hold it back

31:00

six ft away, and then the judge

31:03

came out in a mask and he married us from

31:05

six ft away, and we had to do

31:07

our vows with the masks on, and

31:10

so then when he said you could kiss each

31:12

other, we just kissed with the mask

31:14

on, because at no point had they ever said

31:17

you can't take your mask off to kiss. And

31:19

then they told us that we were silly

31:21

and that we should take our mass off to kiss. So we

31:23

did. But then we started the whole

31:25

process of replanning our wedding, and

31:28

because I still wanted it, I wanted

31:31

the whole thing. Yeah, I

31:34

just it was, you

31:37

know, And I think I also wanted to just have

31:39

a party because I was locked

31:42

down for what six months at

31:44

this point or whatever, and I

31:46

just wanted to like have a celebration with my friends

31:48

again, and that was another reason why I

31:50

wanted to have it. But we decided

31:52

whatever it happens, it will happen, and so

31:54

we rescheduled it for May,

31:59

and even that was too early, and we

32:01

had to cancel that one again. And I remember

32:03

when we canceled the May dates,

32:06

Aaron would just like cried her

32:09

eyes ever gonna happen?

32:11

I think I distinctly remember ordering

32:14

French fries and laying on the floor and

32:16

eating. Canceling your wedding twice. It's

32:19

just more trying to stay in this same

32:22

shape so that you can fit in the same

32:24

dress for that long and the pandemic

32:27

come on. I was tired that night. You said, fucking

32:32

people saying I'm getting French fries. I

32:36

want to get French fries right now. And

32:39

so then we ended up finding

32:41

a new location that would allow us to do

32:43

it, and it was all outdoors outside.

32:46

We scheduled it for August, a

32:50

year after the original date

32:52

that we had set. Yeah, it was a year in a day

32:54

after the original And it was very

32:56

fun. It was therapeutic.

33:00

I danced. I was so sweaty. People

33:02

thought I had been in the rain. I was

33:04

so I danced my ass.

33:07

Yeah, and and both of our families came

33:09

and and you know, all our good

33:11

friends and all of our bridesmaids and groomsmen

33:14

can make it, even though two of

33:16

her bride'smaids were pregnant and

33:18

one of my groomsmen was expecting

33:21

a child that next week. So even

33:24

through all that, they came. And

33:26

there's you know, I have one groomsman, Adam,

33:29

who was very COVID bobic

33:32

and so he wore a mask the whole time.

33:36

So we have wedding pictures of us

33:38

and then him in the corner wearing a mask. But

33:40

he came. He came, and it

33:42

was one of the best days of my

33:45

life, if not the best, just for the

33:47

the relief to finally get married

33:50

with our friends and family there and

33:53

have the wedding we wanted. Aaron

33:56

and Jason have so much joy

33:58

in their lives and was really curious

34:00

about what it took to get here, about

34:03

what it was like for the two of them to have

34:05

such a huge and life changing

34:07

thing happened so incredibly

34:09

early in their relationship. How

34:12

did it make things different than it would have been if

34:14

the accident had never happened. It's

34:18

definitely different, you

34:20

know, Like I'm a forty two year old

34:22

man, I'm experiencing things

34:24

that I didn't think i'd have to deal with. Until

34:26

I was in nineties, until you know, until

34:28

I'm an older man, like I

34:31

can't hold my bladder and I can't

34:33

control my bowels, and it's

34:35

things like that that were really

34:37

humiliating and really hard for me to

34:40

deal with sometimes. But you

34:42

know, I have a woman who immediately

34:44

showed me she didn't care about that stuff. She

34:47

didn't care that I was paralyzed, she didn't

34:49

care that I was in a wheelchair, and

34:52

she continued to show me that, oh, okay,

34:54

you you wet the bed, We'll

34:56

just change the sheets. It's okay. It's

34:58

those types of things that m really

35:01

reinforced my love for her because

35:05

it's tough for me. It's tough for

35:08

me being you know, in my early forties

35:10

and dealing with things that

35:12

are life changing. And I feel

35:14

like if I didn't have this woman

35:16

with me, supporting me and comforting

35:19

me, I'd be way

35:21

worse. I would I'd

35:23

probably be very, very depressed and lonely. But

35:26

Aaron gives me strength, she really does,

35:29

and she makes me

35:31

feel that even though it's difficult, it's going

35:33

to be okay, and that, you

35:36

know, just because I'm limited

35:39

and paralyzed doesn't

35:41

mean that I'm a sick and broken

35:43

person and she

35:46

continues to show me that every day, and so

35:48

I definitely think that it's it's strengthened

35:51

my love for her and and

35:54

hopefully it has, you

35:57

know, for her, because it's

35:59

some days I'm not as strong as I like to be, and

36:02

I know that, but she

36:04

doesn't hold that against me, and she lifts me up

36:07

and I love her for that. Yeah,

36:10

absolutely, And you

36:12

know, I've come to sort of an

36:14

understanding because it's been a few years

36:17

since this accident that I've been paralyzed

36:21

m and so

36:23

it's been a while since I couldn't can't

36:25

feel below my waist, and

36:29

I've noticed, as a man whose

36:32

identity was strongly related

36:34

to his dick, that

36:38

now that I can't feel it anymore,

36:40

I'm a better listener, you

36:43

know, just by happenstance.

36:46

Not the fact that I

36:48

can't feel my penis anymore,

36:52

makes my communication

36:55

be that more important. The

36:57

communication I have with Aaron is more

37:00

important than any sexual gratification I

37:02

can because I

37:04

can still feel happy and I can still

37:06

feel joy, and when I

37:08

share a laugh with Aaron, it's

37:11

one of the best things in my life.

37:15

And so it's just a weird,

37:17

weird I guess

37:19

sort of results

37:22

of me being paralyzed is that I

37:24

don't think with my dick like I used to. I

37:27

think with my heart in my mind, and I think that

37:30

is really good for a marriage. And I

37:32

think that's one of

37:34

the the weird side

37:36

effects slash benefits I've

37:40

received from this paralysis is that

37:43

now my mind and my heart or

37:46

what matter and what are

37:48

important to me our relationship. There

37:50

are so many opportunities for

37:52

us to work together

37:55

as a team. I feel like every

37:57

day we do team building activities

38:00

just because of the

38:02

situation we're in, and

38:04

if we're in a weird place,

38:07

if we haven't finished

38:09

a fight, or if we're like

38:12

one of us is low energy and the other one

38:14

isn't, Like we kind of have those moments

38:16

where we just kind of both have to get on the

38:18

same page and and be a

38:21

team for those moments that kind

38:23

of help shake us

38:25

out of whatever funk we're in. There's

38:27

also things that you you don't

38:29

take as many things for granted because

38:32

you, especially for us, like we both went

38:34

through that experience. Some things

38:36

that might make you crazy,

38:39

you just you know, you let them go because

38:41

it's not important. And

38:45

I think that's very nice in a relationship

38:47

that you want to last forever, to not

38:49

have all of these little things piling

38:51

up. It's like, no, we talked

38:53

about it. We move on, and we we love

38:56

each other and we we try to try

38:58

to be a good team. I think that that's like

39:02

for me, that's what a longevity

39:04

marriage takes, is being

39:06

able to work together. And we get that

39:08

practice every day, multiple

39:10

times a day.

39:29

The world often is not set up

39:31

as well as it should be for people whose

39:33

bodies don't do all the things that a

39:35

body is expected to do. Aaron

39:38

and Jason learned early on that you need to double

39:40

plan when you're in a wheelchair. Most

39:43

restaurants have an entrance for someone

39:45

in a wheelchair, but not all of them do. They

39:48

learned that it was often hard to do things

39:50

like go to the beach or to a

39:53

friend's house who happened to live

39:55

in an old building. Nothing about

39:57

this new life felt easy, not

40:00

except the two of them.

40:04

I think I said to Aaron when we first

40:07

were engaged, was that we can

40:09

still have a good life together,

40:11

a fun life together. It's just gonna be

40:14

different. And

40:16

and that's proven to be true because you

40:18

know, there's so many things with being a paraplegic

40:21

with accessibility. Can I

40:23

get into a place? Can I you

40:25

know, is this restaurant have stairs? You

40:28

know? Every place I go I need a call and double

40:30

check. Can I get into it? Can I move around

40:33

inside of it? You know? So in Frank's

40:35

their bathroom I can't get into

40:38

and we love that place, you know. So there's

40:41

things that we just have to adapt and

40:43

to compromise on. Thankfully, I have a

40:45

wonderful woman who doesn't judge me and

40:48

doesn't you know, make these

40:50

things and take these things personal. It's

40:52

just a fact of our lives now. This

41:24

episode was hosted and reported by Joe Piazza,

41:27

A very special thanks to Aaron and Jason

41:30

Committed as produced by Ramsey Yount. The

41:32

executive producers are Joe Piazza and Tyler

41:35

Klang. Theme song by Tristan

41:37

McNeil. For comments, suggestions

41:39

or to be part of the show, give us a call

41:41

at four zero four. That's

41:46

four zero four for

41:51

send us an email at Joe at Committed

41:53

podcast dot com. That's j

41:55

O at Committed podcast dot com.

41:58

Committed as a production of Heart Radio and produced

42:01

in our studios located in Atlanta, Georgia. For

42:03

more podcasts for my Heart Radio, visit

42:05

die heart Radio app, Apple Podcasts,

42:08

or wherever you listen to your favorite shows.