0:00

Tuesdays at Papa Murphy's you can get any large

0:02

pizza for just $12. We

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call it Take and Bake Tuesday. Take and

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Bake Tuesday. Terrific title. Terrific title for a

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tasty treat at just $12. That's

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Take and Bake Tuesday. Try it today at

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Papa Murphy's. Change the way you pizza. What's

0:15

going on everybody? We find ourself again on

0:18

Friday. So let's do some Q&A.

0:21

Straightforward programming for

0:23

today. Questions followed by answers

0:26

from an idiot. Maybe that would be a better Friday

0:30

name for this segment. Who knows? Let's

0:32

go. Okay.

0:35

Gun to red smoke. Gun

0:39

run. North and South. West to the smoke.

0:41

West to the smoke. Okay, copy.

0:43

West to the smoke. I'm looking at

0:45

danger close now. Come

0:47

on, one of them. They'll give it to me. I did it. They're

0:50

clear and hot. Copy. Clear

0:52

and hot. All right again. So I've tried

0:54

to pick some different categories. Not trying to

0:56

till the same dirt over and over again.

1:00

And I actually know before I even get

1:02

into answering the emails, thank you

1:04

to everybody who continues to reach

1:07

out. It's actually really humbling that people A,

1:10

would even care what I

1:12

think or B, take the

1:14

time to send in

1:16

questions that they have. And I hope that

1:19

the advice that I give, well, first off, I

1:21

hope people recognize that I'm just, I can only

1:23

speak through the lens of

1:26

my own experience in my own life. So I don't

1:30

speak for anybody else. I don't speak for any other

1:32

community. I try

1:34

to be very open and honest about the multiple

1:36

failures I've had in my life and the limited

1:39

successes that I have had. But

1:41

it is humbling that people take the time

1:44

to reach out. So I hope that the answers in some

1:46

way, shape or form help.

1:49

I would imagine, or I would say first

1:52

the person who reached out, but then

1:54

anybody else who might actually be dealing

1:56

with a peripheral situation in their life

1:58

as well. Here we go with

2:00

that. I listened to you and Jaco

2:02

for many years now. I know the principles of

2:05

ownership and had a moment with my kids that

2:07

I'm not proud of. Well, sir, welcome

2:09

aboard. Guess who else has had some experiences

2:11

like that? Yeah, me. My young

2:13

kids and I were out shopping on a busy Saturday

2:15

morning at Costco. I'm going to stop you right there,

2:18

sir. I am

2:20

not religious. Not

2:22

because I have anything against religion. I've said this many

2:24

times and probably will continue to do

2:26

so. It just hasn't landed with me. And maybe that means

2:29

it's not my time. And I'm very thankful

2:31

that people can be so devout in their faith.

2:33

And oftentimes I'm envious of the faith that they

2:35

have, the ability that they have to believe that

2:37

deeply. I

2:39

don't know what hell looks like, but

2:42

I think it would be a combination

2:45

of seven-year-olds playing soccer

2:48

or Costco on a Saturday morning.

2:51

Again, this is a hypothesis.

2:55

But both of those situations are some of

2:57

the most brutal that I've ever had to

2:59

live through. And I would

3:01

say don't go to Costco on a Saturday or

3:04

a Sunday because fuck

3:07

that. There's one not far from

3:09

where I live. And

3:11

I just don't want to be around that many

3:13

people. It is insane. The

3:15

number of people that can be drawn

3:17

into a Costco. I

3:19

don't know if they put something into the air or the little

3:21

snacks that they give out on the ends of the rows. But

3:25

man, what a challenging

3:27

environment. Hell on earth. So yeah, you're

3:29

out on a busy Saturday morning at Costco slash

3:31

hell. It was

3:33

a stressful clusterfuck of a situation. No

3:36

kidding. I was

3:38

sleep deprived and in the heat of the moment, snapped on

3:40

my kids for not listening. For clarity, they were being amazing

3:42

for their ages. They just couldn't understand what I needed them

3:44

to do, which is 100% my fault. After

3:47

we got out to the car, I made sure

3:49

to apologize for my mistakes and praise them for being

3:51

awesome. I find myself overwhelmed

3:55

and stressed out, especially when I've had little

3:57

to no sleep. I lose my shit. those

6:00

mud boots. I

6:02

wish I had courses on parenting, on

6:05

keeping my cool, on knowing what to

6:07

do when confronted with unknowns,

6:11

with situations that you

6:13

don't know how to deal with when you are

6:15

sleep deprived or you're hungry or stressed or the

6:17

combination of all three of those things. And

6:20

it doesn't exist to my knowledge. Maybe

6:22

somebody could create that course. Again, I would highly...

6:24

if somebody can create that course, reach

6:26

out to me. I'll have you on the show and we can push

6:28

as many people towards that as possible. But objectively,

6:31

when I look back at my parenting, I hope

6:35

I did a good job. I hope I made

6:37

the right call more times than I made the wrong.

6:39

I hope I had more successes than I did failures.

6:42

And that's for somebody else to judge. Most

6:46

days I feel like I was holding on with

6:50

my fingernails sliding down

6:52

the face of Everest that was covered over in

6:55

ice, just trying to hold where I was. But

6:57

I digress. If

6:59

your professional career is in the, I'll call it

7:02

first responder EMS world, think about all

7:04

the training you've had. That probably has something to do

7:06

with why you behave the way you do in those

7:08

environments. I

7:10

think we can agree that there's really

7:12

no course for parenting, but I think

7:14

you have already in your email identified

7:16

one of the key triggers. So

7:19

you need to go on to a

7:21

journey of self-education. The trigger,

7:23

and I'll read your sentence. They

7:27

deserve a dad who can keep his cool when

7:29

he's had no sleep. Sub five

7:31

hours you become Gunny Hartman. Okay,

7:36

you have identified one

7:39

of the main triggers that

7:42

causes you to lose your shit like that.

7:46

The sub

7:48

par sleep or less sleep than you

7:50

need, that is real. It seems like the younger

7:52

you are, the better you can deal with that.

7:54

As you get older, man, it's sleep

7:57

is a weapon. It's a

7:59

superpower. get eight and a half

8:01

hours of sleep, seven and a half hours of sleep. Not

8:03

everybody can do that, obviously. So

8:09

I would, my

8:11

advice, when

8:14

you, when I

8:17

look at these situations and

8:19

I view this through the lens of my own situations with my kids,

8:23

mistakes and failures are going to happen to

8:25

everybody. Anybody who thinks you're going to live your

8:27

life without those things, you're not, you don't have

8:29

an understanding of what life actually is. They're

8:33

going to happen. My goal is to have them

8:35

happen as infrequently as possible and to not repeat

8:37

them as often as possible. The only way you

8:39

can do that is to take a

8:42

situation like this and reverse engineer it. Why

8:44

did this happen? Right? The what? We already know

8:46

what happened, but let's focus on the why. You

8:49

do that by being objective. What led to

8:51

this? You've identified what led to this for

8:53

you and what leads you to be in

8:55

this situation often. That is your

8:58

sub five hours of sleep. My advice

9:00

to you would be is this. You

9:03

have identified that as likely the main

9:05

trigger for you or the main environment

9:09

that you will find yourself in for

9:12

you to lash out. So in

9:14

any day that you are going to

9:16

find yourself or you do find yourself

9:18

in that sub five hour sleep or

9:20

around that area, the

9:22

first thing that you need to do is be

9:25

hyper aware of the fact that you are going

9:27

to be a little bit more on edge or

9:29

more likely to have an outburst like

9:31

that. And even

9:35

though I was joking at the beginning of this, going

9:38

to Costco on a Saturday morning is

9:41

in fact hell on earth. But

9:43

if you went there knowing it was

9:45

going to be stressful and knowing that

9:47

you got less than five hours of

9:49

sleep, you are loading

9:53

up a situation. You're

9:55

levering things in the direction towards

9:57

an explosion. I'm

10:00

going to assume that you don't

10:02

often find yourself with sub-5 hours of

10:04

sleep. So when you do, be

10:08

acutely aware of who you are

10:10

and how you react in that

10:13

environment, and

10:15

put yourself into a situation

10:18

where you're much more likely to succeed. Reduce

10:21

stress on those days. Dude, go

10:23

to Costco on Sunday or

10:25

go to Costco on Monday. Now,

10:28

I realize life happens and maybe Saturday was

10:30

more optimal for you to go because perhaps

10:32

Sunday you were going to be busy. But

10:35

if you force it on a day where you're

10:37

in this headspace and

10:39

you have an outburst with your kids and

10:41

you feel horrible about it afterwards, was

10:44

it worth it to force it? Would

10:46

it be better for you to reschedule, to

10:49

reorient your calendar, to allow you to do

10:51

it on a day where you're in a

10:53

better mental headspace? And my answer to that

10:55

for me is yes. So

10:58

when I have days that, and we all

11:00

have days where I either sleep like shit

11:02

or I'm stressed out, I'll

11:04

have a conversation with myself in the morning,

11:07

a literal conversation. And if I'm at a

11:09

place where I recognize that I am not

11:11

in an emotional state to

11:13

make good decisions, I will

11:15

literally tell myself I am not making any decisions

11:18

today. If a business decision comes up that needs

11:20

to be made, I will delay it. I

11:22

will push it until I'm in a better headspace. Now

11:25

there's obviously a crisis, right? A metaphorical

11:28

building is on fire. You

11:30

need to get some water on top of that. Anything

11:34

other than that, I am pushing off. I'm

11:36

pushing it off because I'm not the best

11:38

version of myself. I know that I am

11:40

not in a place where I am thinking

11:42

clearly. I'm not thinking objectively. I'm not emotionally

11:45

stable. And those three

11:47

things that I just described are

11:49

not characteristics of somebody that I want to

11:51

be making decisions that impact other people's lives.

11:54

So I wouldn't do it. I

11:57

think it's an amazing thing that you identified how

11:59

you were behaving. because

14:00

you obviously now are an expert

14:02

sensei. I am a fresh black belt and I'm

14:04

not an expert sensei. I was just

14:06

hunting with Tim Kennedy and he wants me to

14:08

come teach a class at his school for

14:11

an event we're gonna do, I think it's in March

14:13

for Black Rifle Coffee, talk more about that when we

14:15

have details. And I told him I'm

14:17

not a coach and I've never

14:19

taught a class and I don't think I know enough to

14:21

teach a class and I

14:23

don't feel comfortable coaching

14:26

somebody regardless of the color of the belt around

14:29

my waist. I understand

14:31

that the belt means

14:33

it means something to me and I understand it means something

14:35

to other people, but coaching and teaching

14:38

is just not something that I feel comfortable doing

14:40

in that particular endeavor, maybe one day. But

14:43

yeah, so I'm not an expert sensei at all. I've

14:46

been at my gym for a little over four years

14:48

and I am a three stripe blue belt. For anybody

14:50

who doesn't understand jujitsu, it goes white, blue, purple, brown,

14:52

black. Some schools do stripes,

14:54

it's usually four stripes per belt so you'll get

14:56

a white belt and then there's a black bar

14:58

on your belt itself and you'll get one, two,

15:00

three, four after the fourth stripe, you're likely getting

15:03

close to the next belt. So three stripes on

15:05

a blue belt means he would have one

15:07

more stripe to go and then he'd be knocking on the door

15:09

of a purple belt. The

15:12

gym promotions are about 85 to 90% based off attendance. Some

15:16

folks are delayed for not showing commitment,

15:18

reasonable. This has caused me

15:20

to doubt my belt and skill level. Most of

15:22

the time, I come out on top in the

15:24

roles, even against our higher level purple belts and

15:26

our brown belts. I see this

15:28

as due to two options. One, I'm

15:30

fucking awesome and should go teach seminars. I like

15:33

where your head's at. Two, we

15:35

are all promoted too early based off of

15:37

attendance. So my question is, how should I

15:39

go about rectifying my doubts? Thanks for any advice.

15:42

I'm gonna throw a third option

15:45

in here and

15:47

this is again a hypothesis because I know nothing about you.

15:49

I don't know how old you are. I don't know your

15:51

athletic background but attributes and

15:53

weight play a huge role in this.

15:56

So your high level purple belts

15:58

and brown belts. Jiu-jitsu is amazing. As

28:00

someone who worked in a public service and has faced

28:02

a similar evil on the battlefield, how did you remain

28:04

positive while facing these environments? Objectively,

28:11

I'm not sure

28:14

I did. I

28:17

am not sure that I

28:19

always maintained even a semblance of

28:22

positivity. If

28:26

you immerse yourself, and

28:29

I'm going to use the term evil, if

28:31

you immerse yourself in evil, I

28:33

completely understand how

28:36

you can lose your faith in humanity and think

28:38

that evil is the only thing that is out

28:40

there. You can lose yourself in

28:44

the bottom of the well and

28:46

forget that the vast, vast,

28:48

vast majority of people would

28:51

never be found down there and they would be disgusted

28:53

by the type of people that live in the bottom

28:55

of the well. But if it's

28:58

all you touch, it can

29:00

color outside of the lines of what you think

29:02

reality is. I don't know

29:04

if I remained positive.

29:08

I remained motivated and

29:11

kept my desire to do what we

29:13

were doing because

29:16

I loved smashing

29:19

those motherfuckers. I

29:23

don't know if

29:26

it is possible to

29:29

completely remove evil from the world that

29:31

we live in, but

29:34

it is possible to

29:36

confront it and do something about

29:38

it every time you encounter it.

29:40

And that is how I think it

29:43

is kept in check. It's not a

29:45

perfect system and it is unfair to the people

29:47

that either choose

29:50

or find themselves in that situation to

29:52

confront it. But in doing so,

29:56

you keep the vast majority of people on

29:58

earth away from that level.