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Stephen Colbert. I'm here with my producer, Becca.

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Becca, what can people expect on the podcast?

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The extended moments for sure. For instance, if

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I'm talking to Tom Hanks for like 20

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minutes, only 14 of that ever

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makes it to Eric's. We just don't have time. And

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Stephen Colbert, wherever you get your podcasts.

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1:15

Hey, everyone, it's me, Sam B. You

1:17

know, just in case you're curious, those

1:19

who are watching this right now on

1:21

YouTube get to check out my beautiful

1:25

floral shirt, which is about as

1:27

close to a Hawaiian shirt as

1:29

I'll ever get. Anyway, if

1:31

you love a visual, have at it. Listen,

1:35

for as long as I

1:37

can remember, I, speaking

1:39

of visuals, I have always loved

1:42

watching movies and watching TV. Truly,

1:45

they were the best babysitters, the

1:48

only babysitters when I was

1:50

growing up. The fact that

1:52

I work in the entertainment

1:54

industry and see how little

1:56

tiny ideas become incredible art,

1:59

never see... to tickle me because

2:01

that is just what film and

2:03

TV are. Art. There

2:06

is beauty somewhere, sometimes

2:09

hidden, in every show. There was

2:11

skill and there is passion and human

2:14

effort in everything that you see on

2:16

the screen, which is why I have

2:19

some serious choice words for

2:22

the corporate goals

2:25

for literally disappearing projects

2:27

in favor of tax

2:30

breaks. Tax breaks.

2:34

It's so true. Recently,

2:36

we have seen a cruel

2:39

trend, like a tsunami

2:41

of companies and their

2:44

executives removing literally

2:46

disappearing existing or in production

2:48

projects because if

2:50

they never see the light of day, those

2:53

companies can say that the films or shows

2:55

are worth nothing and then they take a

2:57

multi-million dollar tax break from the loss. I

2:59

mean, can

3:01

you imagine spending years making a project

3:03

and then once it's finally done, rather

3:05

than millions of people getting to watch

3:08

it, someone in a corner office decides

3:10

to basically flush down the toilet for

3:13

a tax break instead. That is

3:15

so painful. It has happened so

3:18

often with well-known recently completed movies.

3:24

Remember Batgirl and Coyote versus Acme?

3:26

I mean, that is just like

3:28

a drop in the bucket. Full

3:30

libraries are just gone,

3:33

not available. Even a

3:35

show. A perfect

3:38

show, if I may. The

3:40

Detour, which my husband and I worked

3:43

on tirelessly

3:45

for years. It is

3:47

such a gem and

3:49

it is impossible to

3:51

find. That is too bad. So

3:54

deeply upsetting because

3:57

now you're never going to get to see me play my

3:59

own. husband's mother.

4:02

Yes, of course that

4:05

was weird for both of us.

4:08

Look, I may not

4:10

have a business degree, but I

4:12

do know that this can't possibly

4:15

be the best

4:17

long-term business decision. Is

4:20

disappearing art to

4:22

please shareholders really where

4:24

we want to be? This

4:40

is Choice Words. I'm Samantha Bee.

4:42

Yes, my guest today is the

4:44

funny, super funny, and

4:47

thoughtful Paul Scheer. You

4:50

definitely know Paul from TV shows

4:52

like The League and Black Monday

4:54

and the podcasts. How did this

4:56

get made and unspooled? Paul is

4:59

truly like a

5:02

true fan of film, which

5:04

is why we bonded over

5:06

our fury at

5:09

companies who are just like

5:11

removing movies from our world.

5:14

Oh God. But don't despair. At

5:17

least we still have books. His new book

5:19

Joyful Recollections of Trauma is out now. So

5:21

take a listen and make good choices. I'm

5:29

so excited to be talking to you right now. I am

5:32

too. I'm such a fan. Okay. Tell me about

5:34

before we get into the whole, how is your

5:36

book tour to it? When did your book, when

5:39

did you release it? May

5:41

21st. I don't know if I

5:43

understood exactly what this was. I

5:45

don't understand. It seems like it's

5:47

a never ending race. Although there

5:49

are markers at certain points that

5:51

you can look at and be

5:53

like, okay, I did this and

5:55

now I'm here. But

5:58

it's been fun. And also... the

6:00

interesting thing is reading, and

6:03

I've found that that's a quality

6:06

that seems to be going on a side

6:09

where people don't really get it. People don't

6:11

jump into that pool that much anymore. So

6:13

it's interesting. I mean, a lot of people

6:15

do. They do. But yeah, I guess when

6:17

I was a kid, or even when I

6:19

was in college, in post-college, I would hang

6:21

out in bookstores, get books, have books, and

6:24

I don't know if that's happening that much anymore. So thank

6:26

God for audiobooks and things like that. Thank God, thank you.

6:29

We love it when people read a book, and

6:32

we love a book tour. We love to go out there and

6:34

sling that book. The best part

6:36

of the book tour has been meeting

6:39

everybody. I know that sounds very show-busy

6:41

to say, but it actually, I had

6:44

the most fun on my book tour. It

6:46

was exhausting, but it was amazing to just

6:48

travel around. I still have other things that

6:50

I'm doing. Yeah, I love it. Oh, that's

6:52

awesome. Well, it is great. It's so funny.

6:54

Okay, so we're gonna talk all about it,

6:56

but first, I'm gonna wanna talk to you

6:58

about big choices, because you've made some big

7:01

choices in your life, and this podcast

7:03

is called Choice Words. So we lead

7:05

with the concept of choice, and you

7:07

talk a lot about it, actually, in

7:10

your book. You know, I

7:12

was thinking about this idea of, where do

7:14

I talk about choice to

7:16

you? Because there's a very easy way

7:18

into it in saying the hardest choice

7:21

I've ever had to make, I think,

7:24

is having kids, because that's

7:27

a no-take-back choice.

7:29

That's going to change everything, but

7:31

I'm also like, is that too

7:33

easy to say? Is that a

7:35

choice that's too easy? I

7:37

can talk about anything, because I think we both are

7:39

in a world where you're constantly

7:41

forced to make choices. You have these moments

7:43

where like, oh my God, thank God I

7:46

chose that, because I would have been this

7:48

Gwyneth Paltrow sliding doors moment, where maybe it

7:50

all goes south really fast. Totally,

7:52

totally. When I read the book, one thing that

7:54

stood out to me is that you chose your

7:56

college trajectory. by

8:00

following in the path of

8:02

Theo Huxtable. And I think that's

8:04

a brave. That

8:07

may be the dumbest choice that Mary, yes. So

8:10

I decided to go

8:12

to NYU because

8:14

Theo Huxtable from the Cosby Show, a

8:17

show that I love, I was

8:19

like, oh, well Theo went to NYU, I should go

8:21

to NYU. Like that was the

8:23

extent of the thought

8:25

put into it. I did not know anything

8:27

else. It wasn't like, oh, I don't wanna

8:29

go too far away from home. I just

8:31

had no focus, no

8:33

career aspirations. Like there was nothing that

8:36

was pulling me forward. And

8:38

you were faced with this decision. Like

8:40

you have to go to college, not

8:43

even by my parents. It's like societal

8:45

norm state, like you finish high school,

8:48

you go to college. And I was just like, I

8:50

don't know, I'll go where Theo went. And that was,

8:52

I went, I did

8:54

one application. I think I was forced because I

8:56

went to school in New York state to do

8:58

a couple of, like you did one application for

9:01

all the SUNY schools. That didn't count in my

9:03

mind because that was like, I was in a

9:05

college prep school that they were like, you have

9:07

to fill out the form to go to a

9:09

SUNY school. So I did that. But

9:12

the only college I applied to was NYU.

9:15

That was the only college that you applied to. I

9:18

feel sad sometimes when I think back about

9:20

the Cosby Show, cause it was so influential.

9:22

Like I think you

9:24

were kind of a latchkey kid. I was

9:26

a latchkey kid, only child. These

9:29

television programs functionally raised us.

9:33

When you just said that term latchkey kid, I think

9:35

about that a lot. Like I would

9:38

never feel comfortable with my kids. Oh

9:40

my God. Come home. My kids

9:42

are seven and 10. I was coming home

9:44

at that age and I was like, yeah,

9:46

I'm just in the house by myself. I

9:50

would go bonkers knowing that. I'm freaked. I

9:52

couldn't deal with that. Can I tell you

9:54

something? This is so stupid and embarrassing. I

9:56

have three kids. Mine are like a little

9:59

older than yours. But

10:01

same, I would never have, until

10:03

they were probably, I

10:06

might have actually just stopped doing it. I

10:08

would close the toilet seat every

10:10

single night. So

10:12

in case they like stumbled

10:14

out of bed in the night, I didn't

10:17

want them to hit their head in the

10:19

bathroom and drown in the toilet. Do

10:21

you know what I mean? Oh my God. First

10:24

of all, I love that. I mean, my

10:26

oldest is 10. So I can say for

10:28

the last 10 years, I have not slept

10:30

solidly through the night because I

10:32

feel like one year is always

10:35

just attuned to any, oh, they moved into the

10:37

bed. Are they up? Is something going on? What's

10:39

happening? Like, because you know, when I was a

10:41

kid, I did this thing.

10:43

My parents were divorced and my dad lived in

10:45

Queens and I would spend the weekends with him.

10:49

One night I got up

10:51

in the middle of the night, I believe I

10:53

was sleepwalking, and I walked out of his apartment

10:56

into the city streets of

10:58

Queens. And

11:01

the door locked behind me and I left.

11:03

It was like, and I was, and when

11:05

I kind of put it all together, I

11:08

was outside my dad's house. It

11:10

was like two or three in the

11:12

morning, and not a house, apartment. And

11:16

I was on the street just in my

11:18

pajamas and I didn't know what to do.

11:20

Oh my God, what did you do? I

11:23

walked down the block to a payphone, called

11:26

my dad, Collect. And

11:29

my dad picked up the phone and was

11:32

like, hello, oh my dad, it's me, I'm

11:34

outside the house. I locked myself out. And

11:36

I was just maybe in

11:38

fourth or fifth grade. Like, I was

11:40

not that old. I just, I

11:43

don't know what happened. I think if I really

11:45

think about it, I probably was hot and I

11:47

was trying to get cool. So

11:50

I opened the door and then I walked outside.

11:52

I don't know what it was, but I just

11:54

remember being awake and in the street.

11:56

In the streets. In Flushing. In the streets

11:58

of Flushing. In the streets. Wrong.

18:01

It's, yeah, like I don't want to

18:03

live the rest of my life like

18:05

this. Like I don't think I want

18:07

to lean into this. We'll

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It's actually like it's listening to

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the dark side of growing up. have

24:00

like and I've the book isn't like

24:02

therapy it's like a reflection of therapy like I'm not

24:04

like you know and I think that that I was

24:06

able to like let it go because I've been able

24:08

to like deal with it

24:11

it wasn't like I was giving it over to people to then

24:13

you know everybody can make

24:15

their own assumptions on what it is but at least

24:17

I know I'm safe with it and I feel like

24:19

thank God I did that because when

24:21

it is out there people say random crazy shit

24:23

to you. They do. It's why.

24:26

You have to you need to be so okay

24:28

talking about it because you have to go on

24:30

a tour you have to talk about yourself like

24:32

it's you have to tell the story in a

24:34

way that is like funny

24:36

but also reflects the real

24:39

emotion and that can

24:42

be really tricky. And

24:44

people will come at you with

24:47

things about you or about things in your

24:49

life and if you're not like comfortable with

24:51

where you're at you know

24:53

and that's I think for me talking about these

24:55

stories and I talk about like abuse I talk

24:57

about like just growing up in this household where

24:59

we kind of had to escape this man like

25:03

I was I was finally able to do it I

25:05

think once I had kids because it also gave me

25:07

a perspective that was

25:10

different like I think like seeing

25:12

my kids grow up I don't know how you feel about this

25:15

but like seeing my kids grow up I'm

25:18

kind of blown away by how delicate they are

25:20

and you know and then looking back and

25:22

being okay my parents are like you know jump in the

25:24

pool and you'll learn how to swim and it's like and

25:26

I think there's like a middle ground like what's that

25:28

middle ground of like not throwing them in the pool

25:31

right but also not like protecting them don't get in

25:33

the pool you know it's like how do you find

25:35

that middle ground of like raising a kid the right

25:37

way where they have this independence they can get there

25:39

but I think when I had kids it's like when

25:41

I start to understand like the frailty of a child

25:43

and emotionally where their minds are. And

25:45

I feel like when you have your own children

25:47

it just like reframes everything

25:50

and the times were different too so

25:52

contextually really no one parented the way

25:55

that we are currently parenting our children.

25:59

So it was it It would have not

26:01

been normal in a way if anyone had

26:03

ever been home to receive me. Oh,

26:06

no, I mean, that's the thing. It wasn't like, oh,

26:09

everybody else had this amazing life. I mean,

26:11

it's like, I think

26:13

it's sort of like how it starts to reflect

26:16

on you and what your parents do. The

26:18

best advice I was ever given as a

26:20

parent. We have

26:22

a friend who's a child psychologist and June's

26:25

dad passed away right

26:28

when our second child was born. So our

26:30

first child was about three years old and

26:33

could understand something happened. But

26:35

you know, death is tricky. That's a hard thing

26:37

to digest. And we're like, how do

26:39

we talk about it with him? And she was

26:41

like, look, my rule of thumb is be

26:45

honest, but be brief. And

26:48

that has really been like a go-to for me. It's

26:50

like, oh, how can I not lie? Because I think

26:52

that that's a thing that might, I'll

26:54

say that I can just speak with my parents.

26:57

My parents lied a lot, I think, to sugarcoat

26:59

things. But that's where you get into these

27:01

problems where you start to be like, when

27:03

those things start to unravel, that's

27:06

like the biggest thing. My kids, they'll

27:08

ask me about Santa Claus and

27:11

I'll be evasive, but I also

27:13

don't triple down. When my 10-year-old

27:16

was on the verge of figuring it out, I'm like, I'm

27:18

not putting you in a position to go back

27:20

to school and be made fun of. You're

27:23

here, you're 78% believing

27:26

that there's no Santa. We can

27:28

rip this, or actually it was more like 90%. I

27:30

was like, we're gonna rip off this 9%. And

27:33

he wanted to know, but he didn't wanna know. But

27:36

better that than digging

27:39

a deeper ditch of a lie and being able

27:41

to certain kids don't believe. And this is it.

27:44

And I think that our parents, or at

27:46

least my parents, did a lot of lying

27:48

to normalize. Right,

27:51

like pretending to live together when they were

27:53

actually separated. My

27:55

parents lived together for years

27:57

in this fake version.

28:00

of our life where my dad would come in

28:02

the morning before I got up and be in

28:04

the kitchen and my mom was, you know, I

28:06

was living with my mom, but they stayed in

28:08

the same house or before they even did that,

28:10

they were like staying in separate bedrooms, but like

28:13

creating this illusion for me. I

28:15

didn't come to terms with that until I got older because

28:17

I would tell it as a cute story. Like, oh, isn't

28:19

it so cute? My parents would do this thing.

28:22

They stayed together for like three years. And

28:24

I don't want to sound like, oh, woe is me, like

28:26

play this like little violin now. But it's like, it

28:29

does fuck you up when you are, you're

28:33

like, oh, what's real, what's not real?

28:35

I think that really played havoc in

28:38

my own relationship. It's like, what's true

28:40

here? If that could be fake, is

28:42

everything fake? Right, and you kind of

28:44

look back on that, and probably there

28:47

was an unsettling undercurrent too,

28:49

the whole time. Well, you knew it was wrong. Like

28:51

there's something about, like, and I think that that's the

28:53

thing too, is like kids can sniff

28:55

it out on some level. And like, you're not

28:57

asking all the questions. I remember I would always

29:00

like try to make them hug, right? Which is

29:02

something that like, right, I can do like on

29:04

some level, if I can make them hug, is

29:06

that gonna help this? Or I

29:08

don't know, you're right about, like when you have kids, you

29:10

also, I think, learn to forgive your

29:12

parents as well. Cause you are a parent and

29:14

you make mistakes as well. You do, and you

29:16

see that you could like, sometimes I'm mad about

29:18

certain things. Like I'm kind of, I kind of

29:21

would get mad about certain things. And then I'm

29:23

like, no, no, no. I

29:25

can't re-understand my life with

29:28

this context, but I would have, I can't

29:30

believe how much I was alone. Like

29:33

I was in such danger so

29:36

many times. And I'm really just

29:39

very lucky to be intact.

29:42

Look, my kids are not climbing trees. But I think

29:44

about that too. It's like, oh, like, you know, our

29:46

kids climbing trees, if they fall out of the tree,

29:48

boom, they're like, you know, and they fall in their

29:50

head, they're dead, right? Like, it's like, I can't protect

29:53

them. That's the most childlike activity you could possibly have.

29:55

And we had different things, you know, like I was

29:58

walking a mile and a half to a bus. stop

30:00

like, you know, to get on the bus, you know,

30:02

like in the cold, in the raid, you know, like

30:04

there are just certain things that you did. You know,

30:07

I tell the story in the book about,

30:10

like I had a home invasion because

30:12

my stepfather wasn't going to pay

30:14

this bill that he had. And this guy like

30:17

was trying to break into our house and I was the

30:19

only kid, I was the only, I was the only child.

30:21

So I was like trying to hold down the foot while

30:23

this like grown man is like Winnie

30:25

the Pooh-ing through a window trying to

30:27

like squeeze into our house. And I'm

30:29

just like beating them off with like,

30:31

like a Halloween costume

30:33

ninja sword, you know, like,

30:36

and, and when I came home or my

30:38

parents came home, they were like, well,

30:41

you're fine. And it was

30:43

like, yeah, fine. Right. I didn't get hurt. Like, yeah, he, you

30:45

know, he didn't get in. Life

30:47

is fine. Like life is good. You

30:49

know, meanwhile, like somebody called my, my

30:51

youngest son, fat, the other, you know,

30:54

they're just here and we're like on

30:56

the phone, immediately, like, Hey, what's going

30:58

on? How are we doing? Oh

31:01

my God. My husband. Okay. I don't,

31:03

do you know my husband? Do you

31:05

know Jason Jones? I'm a very big

31:07

fan of Jason, but I

31:09

don't know. Well, he, the detour is one of

31:11

my favorite shows of all time. I love it

31:14

so much. It was like the perfect show. You

31:16

can't ever get it. Did you know that it

31:18

disappeared from this earth? Not

31:20

available. I, I, as

31:23

a, as a person who has many shows that have

31:25

been disappeared, it makes me furious and

31:27

I know we're talking about banned books and I'm,

31:29

I'm very much, yes, we should be talking about

31:31

banned books, but we should also be like trying

31:33

to figure out like a free digital library for

31:35

all these shows that have been pulled

31:38

away from existence. It's art. It is

31:40

art. It's art. It's the history

31:42

of us. It

31:44

really is. It's like, there's, there are things that you

31:46

can't get and it's like, people

31:49

put their blood, sweat and tears into this

31:51

stuff and it's good. And it's only reason

31:53

why it's not available is cause some idiot

31:55

decided it's a tax write off and they

31:57

don't care about it. It's

32:00

wild. We have to go back to the time

32:02

when you were growing up and you were making

32:04

your own video library by taping, by recording

32:07

movies. I had two VCRs

32:09

that I connected together with some AV cords. And

32:12

I was sitting there transferring movies.

32:14

I was breaking copy protection. I was

32:16

taping movies off a pay-per-view. I started

32:19

a whole, my dream

32:21

was, cause I didn't, I don't know, did you

32:23

like know that you wanted to do comedy? Oh

32:26

no. Comedy, yeah. Not at all. It was

32:28

in a path that was even

32:30

available. I didn't know it was a job. I could see that

32:32

it was a job for other people, but

32:34

it was not, it was not accessible.

32:36

It wasn't like, there's no path. Nobody

32:40

in my family was at all involved

32:42

in that at all. And

32:44

it was sort of like the closest I

32:46

could get was like, I like TV, I

32:48

like movies, video stores are popular. I

32:51

would like to own a video store because

32:53

that to me is like the closest I

32:55

could get to Hollywood, right? And

32:57

I didn't even know Hollywood. It was just like,

32:59

that's, that's power. That's power.

33:02

Like, you know, and it was like, and

33:04

here I am like renting Ferris Bueller's Day

33:06

off to like my teachers, you know, like

33:08

they're meeting me in a hallway being like,

33:10

hey, can I get Ferris Bueller's Day off

33:12

for the week? I'm like, yeah, you can

33:14

do it. There you go. I think I can

33:16

accommodate you. Jason tells the story

33:18

of when he, cause he played hockey as a

33:20

kid. We both grew up in Canada and he

33:22

was like, you know, like a hockey kid, like

33:24

a lot of Canadian kids. And

33:27

he, one time at school,

33:29

he had lost his

33:31

teeth. Like he has lost his

33:33

teeth, his front teeth many times, but a kid

33:35

sucker punched him in the face at school. No,

33:37

I think he was like, why are you looking

33:39

at my girlfriend? Like sucker brushed him in the

33:42

teeth. His teeth fell out at school and

33:44

he came home and he was like, my teeth are

33:46

gone. And his parents were like, what

33:50

did you do? And then he

33:52

never even called the school. It was

33:54

just so normal. Like

33:57

that's how we all grew up. Like his parents were like, why would

33:59

we? There was no thought

34:01

to call the school to be

34:03

like this child who punched my child. Like

34:05

we didn't even do that. It

34:08

wasn't- We didn't follow up. No follow up. I

34:10

mean, I talk about this all the time. Like,

34:12

you know, if most people were

34:14

to describe me, I think they'd say I'm a bald man with

34:16

a gap in my teeth, right? And like, and these are things

34:18

that are true, but the gap in my teeth, we

34:22

like went to one dentist. He's like, nah, can't close

34:24

that. That's not a,

34:26

not true. Not a

34:29

true statement. He's like, yeah, nope, no,

34:31

can't do that. And never

34:33

went to a second opinion. Never like followed up on it.

34:35

It was like, that was it. That was it. Didn't

34:37

even go to a dentist. Like

34:40

we didn't even go to an orthodontist, I don't

34:42

believe. We just went, no, look, I'm very happy.

34:45

Oh, with my teeth. Many people will tell me,

34:47

you know, you can close it. Yes, I'm aware at

34:49

this point, I got it. I've

34:51

chosen not to, but like doctors and stuff like

34:53

that. Like I just, it wasn't, I mean, I

34:56

went to a doctor, but it wasn't

34:58

like, I just feel like for

35:00

two years, I would tell my parents, oh,

35:03

my teacher writes so lightly on the board.

35:05

No, she didn't write lightly. I needed classes. Like,

35:08

you know. Tell me the one I talked to her. Yeah,

35:11

yeah, that's the problem. I can't

35:13

see. Not like the

35:15

teacher's writing a light. Why

35:19

does she have such a delicate touch? She's

35:22

so gentle on that.

35:24

You know, so it's like, those are like the things it's

35:26

like, I'm also lucky to be like, my

35:28

kids go to sleep and I'm online

35:31

planning camps and stuff like that. I don't have

35:33

to do that during the work there. My parents

35:36

were working their asses off. Like I can send

35:38

an email. Like imagine if I had to like

35:40

do everything by calling places, finding out where the

35:42

camps were. I mean, right

35:44

now I could type in my zip code and

35:46

call it like type in like basketball camp and

35:48

zip code and be like, okay, got it. Like

35:51

I'm in, I'm in a zone. I

35:53

don't ever have to talk to anyone or

35:56

even just getting around with GPS. I give my

35:58

parents a lot. the map,

36:00

with a physical map, like

36:03

laying it out on the hood of the car and

36:05

tracing it. Where are we going? Like, I can't

36:08

even, I couldn't, no. Our

36:10

parents were cartographers. Yeah,

36:12

they were out there like going to different spots.

36:14

I mean, I'm moving all

36:17

around LA, I'm going to all these tournaments, soccer

36:19

tournaments, basketball tournaments, I was like, if

36:21

I didn't just, I mean, by the way, I'm also doing

36:23

it at eight in the morning. So the fact that I

36:25

don't have to like worry about where I'm actually going, I

36:27

just put it into a machine and the machine's like, this

36:30

is the exit dummy, get up. Are

36:32

you talking in the book about being

36:35

like formally understanding that you

36:37

have ADHD and having like

36:40

lived your entire life not

36:43

knowing that, although people

36:45

around you suspected? Yeah,

36:48

well, I think it's like this thing, I think that was

36:50

a chapter I was really like hesitant to

36:53

put in the book in the sense that, you

36:55

know, there's a thing of when you talk about, that's

36:58

when I found out that I was this. You know,

37:00

it's like, there's an element I think

37:03

always as like somebody who does comedy where I'm

37:05

like, meh, meh, meh, you know, but, and I

37:07

was like a little like, but

37:09

it was an incredibly like

37:12

big moment for me as an adult and

37:14

it's changed so much. And the funny thing

37:17

is, is like I talk about, you know,

37:19

being in my forties

37:22

on Twitter, which is where I find out like

37:25

this, I'm getting like a little battle of words

37:27

to somebody on Twitter and they're like, you have

37:29

ADHD, you're hyper focusing. And I'm like, I don't

37:31

not have ADHD. What is even hyper

37:33

focusing? And I put it down and then I Google it

37:35

and then I'm like, oh, I kind of do do that.

37:38

What's this? And then I kind of

37:40

go deeper and deeper. And within an hour I'm

37:42

reading all these stories and essays. I'm like, do

37:44

I have ADHD? You know, and

37:46

it was, and that wasn't how I diagnosed myself but

37:49

it was the beginning of my diagnosis. And

37:52

it changed everything. And the crazy thing was, is that

37:54

this chapter, I didn't want to put in the book

37:57

and everyone was like, you have to, you have to, you have to.

38:00

interesting chapters because I've talked to so

38:02

many people who found out like after

38:04

having kids, after, and that was the

38:06

thing. Like there's so many late diagnosis,

38:09

like I've seen, June and I were joking last night.

38:12

I was just told, you are bad at this.

38:14

I'm bad at math. Like it was

38:16

like, no, no, that's, you're just bad at it. You

38:18

will never be able to figure that out. And it

38:20

was like, you know, it was like, oh, cause I'm,

38:22

I'm slightly dyslexic. I flick around, I'm never, but it

38:25

was like, it was just like, we just believe like,

38:27

oh yeah, I'm not good at writing. I'm not good

38:29

at math. Like whatever the thing was, and there was

38:31

no deeper introspection on it. You just kind of did

38:33

it and you just embraced this thing.

38:35

So for me to find out,

38:37

like I was kind of compared to like,

38:39

I was a building that had scaffolding on

38:41

it. Like it wasn't falling down. I could

38:43

be functioning. I paid my bills. I

38:45

did my work. I got it done on time. I

38:47

did it in crazy ways, but I

38:49

did it. Now it's like, I've been able

38:51

to take some of that scaffolding off and live a little bit more

38:54

like, Oh, this is a

38:56

lot. I, you know, I'm, I have tools

38:58

that now are better suited because I understand

39:00

like what my issues actually are. Do you

39:02

make, are you good at making choices now?

39:04

Like, did it help inform how you make

39:06

big decisions about things? Because I feel

39:08

like you talk about being paralyzed,

39:11

I guess, by the plethora of choices that

39:13

are available or just like this feeling of

39:15

like, there's too many options. How do you

39:18

narrow it down? Do you feel

39:20

like that has helped you kind of just like

39:22

focus how you decide on things

39:24

in your life? There's

39:26

like that saying, it's like, Oh, that person, like

39:28

a horse with blinders on like, and that's a

39:30

bad thing. Like, Oh, they don't see anything. But when

39:32

I am medicated and very

39:35

lightly so, I am a

39:37

horse with blinders on and it makes

39:39

my life so much better because I'm

39:41

focused forward. I'm, I'm like, I am

39:43

not being pulled in a million different

39:45

directions. And it allows

39:48

me to like address the tasks at hand.

39:50

I also know that part of like the

39:53

ADHD of it all is an

39:55

emotional component, which I didn't understand like this

39:58

thing of like, everybody hates me. And

40:00

they, you know, amplified by the world of that

40:02

we are in, you know, like

40:04

the rejection that we get all the time. And

40:07

I think there will always be like a million

40:09

decisions, but I feel like once I make a

40:11

choice, I can commit to it

40:13

and not go track back. Right. I

40:16

think that's the biggest difference. What do you think about in

40:19

choice? Because I know this is, you know, part

40:21

of the podcast is this, like, do you think

40:23

that we make the success of

40:25

the choice? Like, I mean, there's always like,

40:27

oh, what could have been? But

40:30

would we have gotten back to it or like, cause

40:32

it's sort of like we are the constant, like the

40:34

choice is like a subway stop.

40:36

We could have gotten off on 55th street or

40:38

we could get off on 42nd street. Like it's

40:40

a little further away, but we'll still get to

40:43

our spot. Yes. Yeah. I like hearing how other

40:45

people do it. I like hearing how other people

40:47

do it. I know how I do it. And

40:49

I think it fluctuates. I think it, it changes

40:51

from day to day. Sometimes I'm very decisive

40:53

and sometimes I really waffle and I don't

40:56

know why I think I can change the

40:58

outcome of anything. It's actually kind of challenging

41:01

to be truly true

41:03

to yourself, to know what

41:05

you want to do. And I like

41:08

hearing stories of people who just like find a

41:10

true thing about themselves and then they just keep

41:13

going forward. Sometimes it is just

41:15

like one step in front of the other. And

41:17

then you just live with that choice. Like I

41:19

don't really live my life with regret of any

41:21

kind. I

41:23

think it's so important to do

41:25

that immediate trust of your gut. Yeah. Even

41:29

if it's like the minute

41:31

you have to talk yourself into something, you

41:34

are going down a path of despair. And

41:36

the one thing I found in this business,

41:38

because this is like, we're

41:40

podcasting, we're sub stacking, we're making

41:42

TV shows where you can make

41:44

the best whatever,

41:47

TV show, movie, whatever, and

41:50

no one can watch it. And

41:52

if it was horrible to get to that place,

41:54

it's not going to be fulfilling. I'm like, part

41:57

of me is like, if I had a great

41:59

time, I had a I did the show Black

42:01

Monday with Don Cheadle, Regina Hall and Andrew Rannells.

42:03

I love those people. I

42:05

love the crew on that show. I realized not

42:07

many people had show time. That's really, like everyone was

42:09

like, I don't have show time. I really want to

42:11

watch that show, I don't have show time. And that's

42:13

another show that's currently like disappeared. But like

42:16

I found myself knowing like, if

42:19

I'm having fun while doing

42:21

it, because nothing is guaranteed on the other side

42:23

of it. So let me just

42:25

enjoy the actual process

42:28

of doing, because it's not,

42:30

there's not, I'm not in that world anymore where

42:32

it's like, well that was hell, but at least

42:34

it got me this. I

42:37

don't find that, I don't find that that fulfilling

42:39

anymore. It's like, oh, I'd rather just be like,

42:41

I had the best time, who cares? I'm proud

42:43

of the work. I'm proud of the friends I've

42:45

made. I don't have any appetite

42:47

for that struggle

42:49

of being miserable anymore.

42:51

And I think so many people embrace miserable as like,

42:54

well, you gotta be miserable to make something good. And

42:56

I'm like, I don't know. I love how you put

42:58

the building blocks of your career, just

43:00

together, just like really brick by

43:02

brick from a place of total

43:05

passion. Like you also don't go

43:07

into improv comedy thinking, this

43:09

is, I'm gonna be able to pay a mortgage

43:11

one day. You do it because you love it.

43:14

And you make choices based on your

43:17

actual passion for this thing. Well,

43:20

I think the cool thing about improv, I

43:22

think it's like you're constantly making choices. And you're

43:25

making choices and you have to trust the people

43:27

that you're on stage with and a good improviser is

43:29

like, that's like the best thing.

43:32

Cause you're learning like the most true things

43:34

about life in improv, which is like, whatever

43:37

that other person says, I have to agree

43:39

to it and then add to it. And

43:41

if we all approached like every endeavor, every

43:43

work endeavor, every home endeavor is being like,

43:46

instead of like fighting against the current,

43:48

just like, yes, and this thing, and

43:50

I'm listening, and I'm actively listening to

43:52

my, but it's on stage or in

43:54

the house, it's like, and I'm just trying to make

43:56

it better. We're better instead

43:58

of like bringing. it all down, there

44:01

was like a thing I remember reading

44:03

about the Looney Tunes, the cartoons, they

44:05

have these big meetings, they were never

44:07

allowed to shoot down an idea. Good

44:10

ideas will rise to the top, bad ideas will

44:12

never be brought back, but we spend so much

44:15

time, I mean, I've spent so much time in

44:17

a writer's room arguing why something won't work or

44:19

why I don't like something and when I've

44:22

tried to adopt this thing, you can't shoot

44:26

it down. And

44:28

by the way, if we go all the way from

44:30

it, you don't have to go back and like re-litigate

44:32

it, it's wasted energy in a way and I feel

44:34

like that's what improv, like at the

44:36

root of it is kind of always trying

44:39

to do, is just trying to be like, no, no,

44:41

just move forward, just move forward, you only have what

44:43

you have in front of you, so just make that

44:45

work. I like that you said active listening because I

44:47

feel like that is where we are not in a,

44:50

you're just not in a place of

44:53

active listening where you're just like hearing

44:55

people, really hearing them and

44:57

that is such a skill that

44:59

you can bring forth from

45:02

all of that work. And

45:04

it's hard, it's hard, it's like, because

45:07

we all come with our own stuff and we

45:10

think we know a lot, I'm trying like, you

45:12

know, I think when I get into, really hearing

45:15

them and that is such a

45:17

skill that you can bring forth

45:20

from all of that work. And

45:23

it's hard, it's hard, it's like, because

45:26

we all come with our own stuff and we

45:28

think we know a lot, I'm trying like, you

45:31

know, I think when I get into fights with

45:33

June, or for

45:35

a while it came from a thing of like, well,

45:37

I didn't mean it that way or I didn't say

45:39

like, but I'm not like actually hearing what she's saying,

45:41

right? I'm not hearing like, what you're saying is like,

45:43

I'm hurt, it doesn't make a difference how I intended

45:46

it to come across. You're

45:48

hurt and that's fine. And like, and acknowledging like,

45:51

just like hearing what she's actually saying, which

45:53

is not like, you meant

45:55

to hurt me, the da da da, it's just like,

45:57

and I think that that's another thing too, is it's

45:59

like, I'm just trying to. be, try

46:01

to be better at that and try to like and try

46:03

to like take myself out of it and just really be

46:05

like I'm not in my

46:08

own head here I'm just hearing you say what

46:10

you're saying and hopefully it's

46:12

not about me trying to think about the next thing I'm gonna

46:14

say it's like I'm reacting to the thing just I think you

46:16

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B. I'm gonna wear

49:41

it to the beach. ["The

49:46

Beach"] I

49:49

interviewed a lot of people whose spouses are

49:53

in the same industry as

49:55

them, but I've

49:58

also interviewed your wife. I

50:00

love that you like working together. I

50:02

think, because I like working with my husband. It's

50:05

kind of rare. I

50:07

think it is, I think, I mean, the way, again,

50:09

I don't want to put words in your mouth, but

50:12

the way I like, I love seeing you two work

50:14

together. And I feel like you both approach it the

50:16

same way that we do, which is like, we

50:19

are separate entities who also

50:22

like to work together. Like we are

50:24

not a duo. Like

50:27

we are performers who work together. We do our

50:29

own things. We do something separate. And I think

50:31

that that's really important to have our own path.

50:35

Because I think first and foremost, we are

50:37

a married couple with kids. That's

50:40

like, that's above all else. And

50:43

then it's like, how do we just work together? And

50:45

I think it's more delicate, but I also

50:48

think you get the rewards you reap from

50:50

that relationship and that knowledge of each other.

50:52

And where you would go is

50:55

amazing. But I do think it's a balance. I think you

50:57

have to like, you have to pay attention to it. It's

50:59

not like, I can't treat her

51:01

like I treat another person I do a bunch

51:03

of things. Right, right. And you write together too.

51:06

You write together and perform together. Do you write?

51:09

We don't, like we

51:11

haven't like written together in the

51:13

sense that like we've produced things together. I've

51:16

written stuff that she's done. She's

51:18

written stuff that I have done. And

51:20

then for the podcast, I

51:23

really take a brunt of the

51:25

work from Jason and June in the sense

51:27

of, I want them to just show

51:29

up and talk. And then, and

51:32

so it allows us to kind of have

51:34

some separation of like church and state a

51:36

little bit. Like I think it's important to

51:38

kind of find it, but we were working

51:41

on this pilot right now with Marta Kaufman

51:43

and Hannah Cantor. And

51:45

it's been very creative and we very much are,

51:48

we combine our notes and we are

51:50

sitting there. So it is, there is

51:52

a dialogue there and it's different. Do

51:56

you still go see movies in theaters? Cause you're such

51:58

a movie, cause you're just such a movie. But

52:01

I love seeing movies in theaters. Having

52:04

kids really, it's hard

52:06

to figure that out. It's either I have

52:08

to sneak out during the day or when

52:10

I'm away from my family. My kids don't

52:12

love it. They much

52:14

prefer, if given the option of watching a

52:16

movie at home versus a theater,

52:19

I have to con them

52:21

into going to the Alamo draft house where it's

52:23

like, you can have ice cream there and you

52:25

can eat nonstop for 90 minutes. Like,

52:28

all right, we'll go to that. We're gonna have ice cream.

52:31

But yeah, I love

52:34

that experience of being there. But

52:38

it's also like I can never find the time. I

52:40

live right down the block from the Vista

52:42

Theater, which Quentin Tarantino has taken over. He's doing

52:44

these amazing, like, oh, we're going to play Lawrence

52:47

of Arabia on something. I'm

52:49

like, well, that would be fun. I

52:51

would never watch that on a big screen. I want

52:53

to see these cool things. I'm never going to get

52:56

to that. I know. No time

52:58

for that. I just read my local, like, the

53:00

theater that's down the street from me is playing Escape

53:02

from New York. And I want to go see

53:04

it. And I'm like, who's going to go

53:06

with me? Well, that's it,

53:08

right? And June will never go. June

53:11

loves the movies too. But again, it's

53:13

really got to be planned. And it's like, are we both

53:15

going out? And are we going to both do this? Is

53:18

this a movie we both want to see? I know. OK,

53:20

here's my last question. It's

53:22

a real question. But I ask it randomly

53:24

of a lot of people. So I don't

53:26

know. OK, so we both went to Catholic

53:30

school and

53:32

had sex ed taught to

53:34

us by RPE teachers, as

53:37

Jesus intended. The way

53:39

it was supposed to be done. Done perfectly.

53:42

Done so well. No. Just

53:46

nuance everything. No

53:48

follow up questions. OK,

53:51

if you were redesigning sex ed, because

53:53

you have, you know, like your kids

53:55

are aging into, like really learning about

53:57

their bodies. If you were redesigning it.

54:00

What would it be like? I think

54:02

there has to be an acknowledgement

54:07

that this is on

54:10

some level embarrassing, right? Like

54:12

I think that sometimes we go into this thing like

54:14

very antiseptically, like we're gonna talk about penis and a

54:16

vagina, we're gonna talk about sex. It's like our

54:19

bodies are goofy and

54:21

we do, we have these questions

54:24

and we have to feel like we can ask

54:26

these questions in a safe space and learn these

54:28

things. And I feel like, and

54:30

I feel like I write about this in my book for one

54:33

little brief moment where I said, somebody

54:35

asked about like, what's a period? And he's like,

54:37

none of your business and like high fived a

54:39

girl in the class. Like I'm pretending,

54:41

like, well, why can't I learn about like

54:43

what a period? Yes, I'm not having them

54:45

as a man, but I would

54:47

like, why is that being gate kept for me?

54:49

Like, you know, like, and I feel like there's

54:52

this thing of like, how do we talk

54:54

about, you know, I think

54:56

that there's like a puritanical thing especially

54:59

in Catholic school. Like it's like sex isn't,

55:01

it's like, I only

55:03

learned about sex via don't

55:05

get people pregnant. It was like, you know, and

55:07

it's like, and I also didn't understand like how

55:10

you could get people pregnant. I feel like it's- Yeah,

55:13

we never talked about like why anyone would ever

55:15

do it. Like no one

55:17

was ever like just basically why would,

55:20

we were like, why would you? What's

55:22

it look for? Yeah, but it's

55:24

like, I almost feel like we need to get

55:26

like gross

55:28

and weird and specific.

55:31

Cause it's like, let's put it all out on the

55:33

table so everyone feels like they can, cause I think

55:35

that we go through life with

55:38

all these concerns. You know,

55:40

it's like, what do bodies look like? You

55:42

know, what are like, and it's, and you

55:44

can demystify it too, like that show where

55:46

like they lift up that screen and you'd

55:48

see like a person's shin and then you

55:50

see their crotch and then you see their

55:52

breasts. And like, it's like, when you look

55:55

at a body like that, it's so like,

55:57

it's so unsexual. But we kind

55:59

of like walk. this line of like, it's almost

56:01

too sexual, we can't talk about it. And then,

56:03

because I feel like there were so many questions

56:05

I was afraid to ask. I didn't know. And

56:08

then you hear things. Yeah. Uh, I didn't put

56:10

the story in the book, but it was part,

56:12

it was a kind of the part of the,

56:15

the story like this gym teacher, very

56:17

shy girl in my class. Um, she

56:19

was sitting, um, you know,

56:22

always like, just, you know, one of those people

56:24

who was a nerd, but no one makes fun

56:26

of them for being a nerd because. She's

56:28

just lovely. And that's it. Like she's, you know, she

56:31

gets up to go to the bathroom during

56:33

one of our, you know, health class health. It wasn't

56:36

even sex. It was, and, uh,

56:38

she goes and, um, the,

56:41

the gym teacher is like, oh, hold on everybody, check this

56:43

out, check this out. And he

56:45

grabs, and at this point, I don't

56:47

know what this is because no one's taught me a

56:49

dildo out of his desk drawer. Right. Uh,

56:52

and he's like, look, I just, and he goes to

56:54

her lunch bag and puts the dildo in her lunch

56:56

bag. Oh my God. And then, and he's like making

56:58

a kid like look out the door, like, she's coming

57:00

back and she's coming back and the

57:02

kids like, she's coming back. And then we all

57:04

like, we all like sit there, you know, and,

57:06

and this girl's walking into like a prank show.

57:08

Yes. Right. Cause we all now know it again,

57:10

this very sweet, nice girl. And, um, and

57:13

then so she comes in,

57:15

she sits down at the, uh, at

57:18

her desk and she starts taking out

57:20

her like lunch. And, you

57:22

know, and the dildo is not

57:24

doing anything yet. Uh, yeah, but we

57:26

all are like, our attention is focused on her tangle.

57:29

We're laser locked. And then the

57:31

teacher's like, Hey, wait a second. What

57:33

is this? And like, he kind of like forces

57:35

the reveal and pulls this dildo out of her bag.

57:38

He's like, Oh, Hey, you know, whatever name with Caitlin,

57:40

what are you doing? And he's shaking this thing around.

57:42

And first of all, it's the first time I've

57:44

ever seen anything like this, which is wild, and then

57:46

it's like being pulled out of this girl's bag. This

57:49

girl is mortified. I'm sure if it's my first time,

57:51

it's definitely her first time seeing this giant penis

57:53

being waved around in front of her. And

57:55

it's like, and that, and it was like, I'm just,

57:57

I'm just getting you. I'm just getting you. I

58:00

was like,

58:02

that's like, that was our sex

58:04

ed. That's an incredible story. Oh

58:08

my, that was a person who was an

58:10

authority figure in your life. Right, that was

58:12

a person who was like, no reprimand

58:15

for that. And like you said, no one went, like that

58:17

girl did not go home to her parents and say, the

58:19

teacher put a dildo in my bag and

58:21

embarrassed me in front of the entire class

58:23

with it. Oh my God, you know what?

58:26

And it was like, oh, funny prank. You're

58:28

so funny, Rick. That's,

58:31

oh my God. Well,

58:34

oh my God, thank you so much for talking

58:37

to me today. I have just thought of the

58:39

funniest prank for my kids to put in their

58:41

school lunches. They love

58:43

it. They're gonna love it. Thanks

58:45

so much, this is a blast. That

58:53

was Paul Scheer. Oh, I loved him and

58:55

I had no choice but to look up

58:57

one thing. We were talking

59:00

about how we were both latchkey kids,

59:02

which is such a funny phrase. What

59:04

is the origin of that? Well, turns

59:07

out that the phrase gained popularity during

59:09

World War II when dads were serving

59:11

in the army and moms were out

59:13

of the house working for the first

59:16

time. Oh, I

59:18

should have guessed that this was women's

59:20

fault the whole time. Thanks

59:22

for joining us. I'm Samantha Bee, see you

59:25

next week for some more Choice Words. Thank

59:40

you for listening to Choice Words, which was

59:43

created by and is hosted by me. The

59:46

show is produced by Zia Baron-Reinstein

59:48

with editing and additional producing by

59:50

Josh Richmond. We're distributed by Lemon

59:52

Automedia and you can find me

59:54

at Real Sam Bee on X

59:56

and Instagram. Follow Choice Words wherever

59:58

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