0:00

Hello, it's me, Neil Brennan. This

0:02

is the Black Podcast. We heal the earth. You

0:04

remember. My guest today is a buddy of mine

0:06

who I haven't seen. You see him a lot.

0:09

Haven't seen him. We think

0:12

it's six years, might be eight.

0:15

I directed his, what

0:19

was that for? It was for- It was

0:21

for Showtime. It was for Showtime. That's another

0:23

like- That was an old cable network. It

0:25

was called Shrimpin Ain't Easy. He's a great

0:27

comedian. He's also the

0:30

head writer, writer on Lopez.

0:33

No, I just act on Lopez. You're just an

0:35

actor. Oh, great. He's an actor. All right, great.

0:38

I was thinking that shit. No, I do other writing stuff. I'll tell you what I

0:41

can tell you about. Tell me all about it.

0:43

He's on the Lopez v. Lopez

0:45

show. That's correct. Not a court

0:48

thing. It's just a matter of time.

0:50

Sure, George just made that joke.

0:52

And a great comedian, Al

0:54

Magical, ladies and gentlemen. Also the owner

0:57

of All Things Comedy with Bill Burr,

0:59

the producers of my new award-winning Netflix

1:02

special, Crazy Good, Check Your Local List.

1:04

I hear it is fantastic. Thank you,

1:06

very- Yeah, no, it turned out pretty

1:08

good. And I'd take a shot at

1:10

Bill, which is great. And also, I think

1:12

also the bar that you're fucking around with

1:14

too, like you've set a very high bar for

1:17

yourself with the specials, so you're not just slapping

1:19

them out. No, I can't. My

1:22

jokes don't work unless

1:25

they're perfect. I can't charm

1:27

them in. Same, I switched things, I'm back

1:29

doing stand-up, and I actually, and Kristen was

1:31

watching, and she goes, what happened with there,

1:33

that bit? And I go, I

1:36

just transposed two lines. The

1:38

whole thing fell apart. It

1:41

really did. I'm not saying stand-ups, I mean,

1:43

stand-ups are some of the most arrogant people

1:46

on earth, but the good news about stand-up

1:48

comedy, it's so fucking hard that

1:50

how confident can you be? If

1:53

you don't get any credit going forward, Al's

1:58

great, and Al has one. my

2:00

favorite wives of all

2:02

time. I lucked out with the

2:05

wife and we're coming up on 23 years

2:07

of marriage too. I

2:09

feel like- Kristen Little Why. Yes. You

2:11

met her, she was in the crowd

2:13

when I did a gig very early

2:16

on in San Francisco and

2:18

I spotted her. She didn't want anything to

2:20

do with a standup comic. I had

2:22

to be a little bit of old. Right, we fell.

2:24

Yeah, no, she was right. Yeah, she was right. And

2:26

then our mutual friend said, no, this guy's a little

2:28

different. He's got a car, he has a his own

2:30

place. He's got a condo at

2:32

a condo in San Francisco. This is 1978. Well, we bought the condo,

2:38

I'm very old, and we bought

2:40

the condo in 95. Whose way?

2:42

Well, my family when my grandmother

2:44

passed away. So I lived there

2:46

in Telegraph Hill and

2:48

that's what the buddy says, like he's got

2:51

his own place. He lives by himself. Because

2:53

that's his, you're a struggling comedian in San

2:55

Francisco. You get sheets for walls. It's so

2:58

cute when a Mexican family buys a place,

3:00

a condo for their son, but if a

3:02

white family does it, forget it. People are

3:05

mad. Everyone was

3:07

thrilled. So we, I

3:10

had to do a little courting. She was then

3:12

teaching at a school for homeless

3:15

children in San Francisco. She's

3:18

incredibly, she's

3:20

got the warmest eyes. She's in my top

3:22

10 or five or 10 warmest eyes I've

3:25

ever seen. Great note.

3:27

Just beautiful. She's a double

3:30

masters, former, you remember Benetton and Esprit,

3:32

she used to do that. And then

3:34

she. She was a model. She was

3:36

a model. Yeah. I mean. And

3:38

then she got a double masters

3:41

in education and. She's great. She's.

3:43

And also very sarcastic and doesn't

3:45

like to lose an argument. Great

3:47

comic wife. Yep. Funnier. The thing

3:49

that happens with comic wives is

3:52

they become as funny as a

3:55

middle. But what was interesting about

3:57

her starting with.

4:00

me is that we hugged when I got

4:02

paid $250 for the first time. And

4:05

so when she watches my

4:07

careers just evolve, she's

4:09

down with, oh my God, you got to do that. Our

4:12

baby was going to be born during Montreal New Faces. She goes,

4:14

you got to go to New Faces. He's

4:17

not going to remember. So she's actually supportive. It

4:19

doesn't be grudged. Very much so

4:22

because she's been along for the entire ride.

4:24

And you see that, I mean, and I'm not, I don't

4:27

know anything about these relationships. When you

4:29

think about Tom Papa, Nate, Burt, like

4:31

the people that have had wives this

4:33

entire time when they were not doing

4:36

well to the point where they are now.

4:38

They're invested and they don't resent it. And

4:40

it's not like, what about, it's like, no,

4:42

I had this dream when you met me.

4:45

You got to do it next. You

4:47

were there. So they're as invested as

4:49

you are. It's not just this thing that's preventing

4:52

you from being in a relationship. I also kind

4:54

of preach to comedians and actors that I know

4:56

one headshot per household. I

4:58

would like to see you dating

5:01

a nurse or a chef.

5:03

I'm dating a therapist. Great. Everyone

5:06

can fuck off. betterhelp.com.

5:10

Slash Neil. All right. Block

5:12

number one. Enough grab ass. Grief.

5:16

We can maybe start these differently, but grief I had

5:18

a hard time with. Let's pick,

5:21

take a bit. Grief, ADHD, low

5:23

light, social anxiety, temper, addiction

5:26

personality. I think this

5:28

all starts with ADHD.

5:30

Okay. So

5:32

that is the thing that's kind of plagued me

5:35

my entire lifetime. They didn't know

5:37

what it was before. No one knew what it

5:39

was. And I have it

5:41

as bad as you can have

5:43

it because we just got my

5:45

daughter diagnosed two, three years ago

5:48

and the therapist that, and

5:51

you know, did the assessment. She

5:53

said, I've never really seen this before. Because

5:56

she has it as bad as anyone can have

5:58

it. And when she also has it. a 4.3

6:00

grade point average. So she's

6:02

been able to, she said, usually what happens

6:04

is people give up and

6:07

they don't, students don't try because they can't do the

6:09

works. And my daughter fought through it and just stayed

6:11

up till three o'clock in the morning. It just takes

6:13

her a long time to do the reading. It takes

6:15

her a long time to read everything and do the

6:17

work. You know, she has to read something. When I

6:20

was in high school, so I went to high school

6:22

in San Francisco and it was like

6:24

Rushmore for me. I was going, I wrote

6:27

every sketch for

6:29

the rallies. I

6:31

had an article in

6:33

regular column in the newspaper. I

6:36

was in every single club that you

6:39

could possibly imagine the worst

6:41

possible student to the point where they just

6:43

pass guys like me along. I remember going

6:45

to a professor, we had a Dr. Parker

6:47

and I said, Dr. Parker, I'm in a

6:49

failure class. And he goes, Mr. Madrigal, for

6:51

students like you, I don't believe in Fs,

6:53

I believe in Bs. Have a great summer.

6:56

And I just got passed along because

6:58

I was, they saw me doing all this

7:00

other stuff and they were very impressed by

7:02

it. Yeah. I kind of

7:04

might not, but

7:06

I was like, had a good personality.

7:09

So even I got an NYU

7:12

with like a bad essay, I guess, 1070

7:14

on my SATs, but I made a decent

7:16

film. So they were like that,

7:18

let them in film school. And I

7:20

wonder if they think it was positive. Do you know what

7:23

I mean? Like I ended up dropping out after

7:25

a year, but like should, were they

7:27

right to let me in? It was hugely

7:29

helpful. I went to Cal

7:32

Poly in San Luis Obispo. I probably had

7:34

the worst grades. I think I was, I

7:37

found myself into a, like a

7:40

diversity fair for the business school

7:43

for at Cal Poly. Struggled

7:46

there being on my own, you know, I would

7:48

say also, you know, being Mexican and Sicilian, you

7:51

know, I never did a load of laundry or

7:53

cooked a meal for myself in my entire lifetime.

7:55

Like, so I just got to have it. But

8:01

I also got just dropped off and they drove

8:03

away. And I

8:05

was left there with some mixed bag suitcases

8:07

and just walked in. And

8:09

so they didn't know because neither of my parents

8:12

went to college. And so I just got dropped

8:14

off and didn't do well. I ended up finishing

8:16

at USF, but and figured my

8:18

shit out. I knew I had to put

8:20

the time in. So I was barely getting

8:23

by in high school, barely getting by at

8:25

Cal Poly. And then at USF knew

8:27

I had to do what my daughter didn't and I fought

8:29

through it and I ended up with like a 3.8 or

8:31

something like that. Interesting

8:34

in that, you know,

8:36

like in Russia, they go like, they'll take

8:38

the gymnast when they're like five. Yeah. And

8:41

they put them in the gym. Or they'll take, if you have a thing, they'll

8:43

take you and put you in the program. Could

8:47

there be like an ADHD path

8:51

for, I guess so many kids have it now.

8:54

And they're getting the assessments and they're getting

8:56

diagnosed and early action helps take care of

8:59

a lot of this stuff. So we didn't

9:01

know what it was. I

9:03

have it horribly bad. I finally,

9:05

after my daughter goes through this,

9:08

start talking to somebody. They're

9:10

like, clearly you have it. You know, this is

9:12

where you're where she got it from. You have

9:14

it just as bad. I get

9:16

on 20 milligrams of

9:18

Ivance. I've never

9:21

fucking been better. I'm telling you. You

9:23

seem very stable. Not that

9:25

I was. Yeah. You were more

9:27

hectic. Well, that's what

9:29

it leads to is like all this

9:31

impulsive behavior that got me in all

9:33

the other blocks that we're going to

9:35

talk about. So my

9:38

grief was a bad one for me

9:40

because, you know, I only

9:42

kind of figured this out and started going

9:44

to therapy about two

9:46

years ago. When did your dad die? My dad

9:49

died on June 6th in 2016. Okay.

9:53

So that's eight years. Absolute

9:55

disaster. I'm talking about my

9:57

mom gave me his medal.

10:00

I was wearing that and I was convinced it

10:02

was cursed because of how heavy

10:04

it felt on me. I

10:06

was just irrational, upset.

10:08

Have you had it? I'm not

10:10

sure. My dad died, but it wasn't

10:12

... We didn't get along, so it wasn't ... Didn't

10:15

hit you hard. No. I

10:17

got up to do his eulogy. We

10:19

all couldn't handle it. I

10:22

got up to do his eulogy at

10:24

a packed St. Ignatius Church in

10:26

San Francisco. Like 350 people there. And

10:31

... Not a huge room for

10:33

a comic. That blubberd. That

10:35

type of crying where snot's coming out of your

10:37

nose. And was trying

10:39

to read the stuff shaking and could

10:41

barely get through it and just kept

10:43

apologizing and it was just

10:46

a disaster. Is that ADHD? This

10:48

is no. That's me

10:51

just loving my father so

10:53

much that ... Our

10:56

mutual friend, Kevin Christie, is father

10:59

fast in a very tragic way,

11:02

said, the guy that you're trying

11:04

to impress is gone. And

11:07

the guy that you were doing all of this for.

11:09

When I came down to LA from

11:13

San Francisco, I was the eldest son in

11:15

a family business that was doing really well.

11:18

Then I went to USF after Cal

11:20

Poly and I was a business

11:23

major with an emphasis in human resources

11:25

because we had a staffing company. So

11:28

I went from right

11:30

into the company. I went straight into the

11:32

company at 19 years old. So I was

11:34

going to USF and working at the same

11:36

time. I fired people

11:38

for a living. I hired people. If you've seen

11:40

the movie Up in the Air. Up in the Air. I

11:43

did that. This will be your last week

11:45

of employment. And it's unbelievable. So that's what

11:47

you did. Yes. And I

11:50

was good at it and because it was very

11:52

nice. I didn't want them to lose their jobs.

11:54

And so I warned them. And I'm like, people

11:56

fuck up a lot. My

12:00

running joke was like they, people

12:02

say horrible bosses, horrible employees.

12:05

There's a Reddit thread called anti-work

12:08

and I almost want to start, and I follow

12:10

it and I agree, and it's all about how,

12:12

what dickheads the bosses and da da da da

12:15

da. And you got to record everything you got

12:17

to do. And I want to do

12:19

one called anti-employee because it's like, look,

12:23

people are no angels. No,

12:26

everyone's bad. And this idea

12:28

that bosses are especially bad,

12:30

I don't think

12:32

bosses are any worse than employees. They

12:34

just have power, so fuck them. But

12:37

it's not like you'd be any different.

12:39

In order to make a company work, there's

12:42

a certain amount of income and there's a certain amount

12:44

of money I can pay. The best way to look

12:46

at it. Now I got to send you to the

12:48

dentist. If I was a boss, I'd

12:50

be like, I got to fucking take care of your boo-boos. Go

12:53

fuck yourself. Best way

12:55

to look at an employer

12:59

and what you should be thinking

13:01

is a sports team. You

13:03

look at the Lakers, every single year they try

13:05

to get better. Every

13:07

single year they try to get better. And that's

13:09

how you should look at it. I think, and

13:11

this probably came across Instagram, but people have to

13:13

stop talking about their

13:15

employees like a family. Well, I always want to

13:17

yell out, like, I'm from a very fucked up

13:20

family. Go on. Yeah,

13:22

exactly. And so you're looking at it like

13:24

a sports team and you just want to, I recommend

13:26

to everybody I know, start your own

13:28

business. Yep. Work for

13:30

yourself. Why work for somebody else? It's crazy. If

13:32

you can't, well, it's just- Some of you just

13:35

don't have the mentality. There's

13:37

a conservative author

13:39

named Thomas Sewell, who's a, I think he

13:41

was like an economist, but he said, and

13:43

I say it all the time now, there

13:45

are no solutions. There's only trade-offs. So

13:49

yeah, you work for yourself and you take

13:51

on all the risk. It's

13:53

just a different kind of stress. You have

13:55

to worry about getting customers, holding customers. Sure.

13:59

Service. a list and then you got higher

14:01

employees and it's just what kind of

14:03

stress do you want? There are no shortcuts.

14:05

I mean, and you're going to have to

14:07

always have, if you

14:09

want to earn wealth, you're

14:12

going to have to try to rise to

14:14

the ranks of some organization and hopefully there's incentives in

14:16

place for you to earn a good living at some

14:18

point, or you're just going to have to go out

14:20

and do it on your own and hustle your ass

14:23

off. But if you want to just

14:25

get by, there's tons of stuff you can do. Yeah,

14:27

and also this idea that happiness and money, there's no

14:29

correlation between that at

14:35

all. It doesn't leave you a lot of stress. There is some, but

14:37

it's over $75,000 for years. It's now,

14:39

they've upped it. Oh, they have? Yeah, they

14:42

upped it. It's like 170 now. Because there's

14:44

a great book, What Happy People Know or

14:46

things like that. Yeah, The Happiness. Yeah, yeah.

14:49

Anyway, it's money and it's like... It's

14:52

higher, but it's just a matter

14:55

of... It's just

14:57

different kinds of stress, different amounts of

14:59

stress, different time where you're going to be stressed.

15:03

It's almost like renting versus owning. Sure.

15:05

It's, how do you want it? How do

15:08

you want to fuck yourself? Exactly. So

15:10

what do you more calibrate? Anyway, I'm working

15:12

at this parents' family business and I'm miserable

15:14

and I've always wanted to be a standup

15:16

comic. But when I start trying to get

15:18

into comedy, my dad and

15:20

mother are not handling it well.

15:23

So at one point, they tried to call me

15:25

in and they're like, we're giving you the company.

15:27

The company is yours. Because the standup is starting

15:29

to take off. They see I'm doing shows, I'm

15:32

in a sketch group and

15:34

we're becoming popular and then

15:36

I'm starting to become a little bit more

15:38

popular. I'm working a lot and

15:40

they call me into the office and they say,

15:42

the company is yours. Enjoy.

15:46

And I go, I have all the power. It was

15:48

like a passive aggressive gift. Yes. Yes.

15:51

Here you go. Because they see that

15:53

they're losing me to what I, a

15:55

passion, my bliss, whatever it is. I'm

15:58

so happy to be doing this. Because

16:01

I've always wanted to be a stand-up

16:03

comic. I loved stand-up comedy from forever.

16:06

And growing up in San Francisco, we had this guy

16:09

who was like a Howard Stern, Alex Bennett, and he

16:11

would listen to it on the radio. So all the

16:13

comedians, and it was Durst, and it was Proops, and

16:15

it was Larry Bubbles Brown, and all these Michael Meehan,

16:17

who I grew up across the street from, were all

16:20

on the radio in the morning. So

16:22

that's how I knew it was really a thing, and I

16:24

just loved every bit of it. And

16:26

so they see it starting to take off. The business

16:28

is yours. They bought me a house. And

16:31

I really did call him. I go, the business is mine. I go,

16:34

I got all the power, and they said, yes, you have all the power.

16:36

And I go, I want to

16:38

fire Laura. And they're like, you

16:40

can't fire Laura. Not mine. Yeah, sorry.

16:43

It's like it's so it's not mine. And

16:45

anyway, I go to Montreal,

16:49

get cast in a

16:51

nationwide search for this Latino comedian, and

16:53

end up coming down here doing a

16:56

pilot, and went back

16:58

to work the next day. I went right

17:00

back to work, went back to San Francisco.

17:02

So my dad and mom are now freaking

17:04

the fuck out, because their eldest son, who

17:06

was their retirement plan, who's going to take

17:09

over this family business, has now gone one

17:11

foot down in Los Angeles. And

17:13

being from San Francisco has this

17:15

crazy rivalry with LA that doesn't

17:18

work both ways. No. Who?

17:21

Exactly. It's true. But

17:23

San Francisco, I grew up with

17:25

beat LA, fuck LA. Just my

17:28

daughter's first words were boo

17:30

Lakers. Great. So

17:33

we fuck LA. You're going

17:35

to go to LA? Yeah. And

17:38

so what are you doing right now? Where are you? And

17:40

I go, I'm in Los Angeles. This

17:42

is a real conversation. These are quotes.

17:45

Where are you right now? I'm

17:47

in Los Angeles. This is what I'm auditioning for the show.

17:51

And I go, I just met

17:53

with UPN. He goes,

17:55

what the fuck is UPN? UPN

17:57

was the network back in the day. Okay.

18:00

And I go, as a network, dad.

18:03

And then I go, tonight I have a

18:05

show with Janine Garofalo at the Mint. And

18:07

he goes, who the fuck is that? Great.

18:10

I got him. And then I

18:12

said, and tomorrow I meet

18:15

the casting director for Curb

18:17

Your Enthusiasm, Curb Your Enthusiasm. And he goes,

18:19

what the fuck is Curb Your Enthusiasm? I

18:21

go, it's on after the Sopranos. And

18:24

he goes, you're going to be on the Sopranos?

18:26

And I go, no, dad. I'm not

18:28

going to be on the Sopranos. And he goes, well, we're going to

18:30

change the locks tomorrow. And I don't know who you think is going

18:32

to fucking be here. But you

18:34

better fucking be here, man. And

18:37

then I would be driving to Sacramento. And he goes, where are

18:39

you right now? And he goes, I

18:42

go, I'm driving to Sacramento to go do

18:44

the punchline. And he goes, what?

18:47

How much is it paying you? And I go, 25 bucks. 25

18:50

fucking bucks? How much is the gas?

18:52

You fucking idiot? Like that. And he's

18:54

yelling. And then I go, he goes, who

18:56

are you working for? And I go, this guy named Louis C.K.

18:59

Who the fuck is Louis C.K.? That

19:01

guy's hilarious. And that's when- I'm not masturbating in front

19:03

of women. That's when

19:05

Louis, there was like, I remember Sunday night, there

19:08

were 38 people in the audience for Louis. I

19:10

thought Hicks. With

19:12

a one third sold out Carolina. Me and

19:14

Shabell went to see Bill Hicks. Crazy.

19:17

Not even close to sold out. Bananas. Anyway,

19:19

so they're freaking the fuck out. So I've

19:22

eventually come down here. And

19:24

lucky enough to, that show

19:26

went bye-bye. And

19:28

it's kind of a lesson in perseverance because

19:31

lucky enough to be working ever since. I

19:33

think like between- Did

19:35

you quit? Did you officially quit the family business?

19:37

Oh yeah, yeah. When I got

19:39

cast- When I'm in a lard. When I'm in a

19:41

lard. I changed the name. Oh, you're the real lady.

19:43

Fair enough. But she ended up,

19:46

the company was doing great. They

19:48

actually just sold it. So

19:51

now my mom finally got out,

19:53

but my brother still works there.

19:57

It was doing great. It was just a staffing

19:59

firm. I could have had a

20:01

fine life as a working for

20:03

the staffing firm and being a local

20:06

stand-up. Okay. Let me get

20:08

back to the grief in the

20:10

ADHD. What do you think the

20:12

grief, is the grief has something to do with ADHD? Yes.

20:16

Because, well, I

20:18

did not grieve properly. I did not talk

20:20

to anybody. I just was kind of going

20:22

through it and I was unaware of why

20:24

I was so emotional. I

20:27

was depressed. Even Kristen,

20:29

your wife, that's a real name. We did not

20:31

change it. I would

20:33

talk to her about it, but really not

20:35

get into it. She

20:38

was always there for me and

20:40

she's a great wife partner, as

20:42

we've established. But yeah, it

20:44

was tough, man. I was sobbing. I was

20:47

just really, really upset by the entire

20:49

thing. So it was really difficult for me.

20:51

And then- And if you didn't have ADHD, you

20:53

think it would have been there? No. I

20:55

think what ADHD does. And

20:58

again, no therapist, you can ask this girlfriend of

21:00

yours. So

21:02

it really forces,

21:06

it causes you, because your mind is

21:08

racing constantly, but it takes you to

21:10

very depressed thoughts. The

21:12

other thing that will come up is I had

21:14

this low light reel playing in my head at

21:17

all times. So I

21:19

was always thinking of my life's

21:21

biggest fuckups and

21:23

had this ... And it should be

21:25

the opposite. I've

21:27

learned to just be looking forward at all

21:29

times and try to be the best person

21:32

I possibly can be. But I was like,

21:34

because of my severe ADHD, I just have

21:36

a river of 25,000 thoughts. So

21:39

much trouble with that. And you think it's

21:41

a form of intrusive thoughts, kind of? Oh,

21:43

it's all thoughts. I'm thinking of everything. The

21:45

thing that allows me to think of jokes

21:47

and weaving stories together and help

21:49

create TV shows and

21:51

come up with movie ideas that

21:54

I'm writing, it's just the same

21:56

thing that made me go to a

21:58

super dark place. I

22:00

didn't know this I don't I don't even because I'm

22:02

wondering like do I have ADHD? I don't fucking know

22:05

It's also to the point where I what

22:07

and what am I gonna do about it? I Could

22:10

take my man's I could take I don't

22:12

know if that's the right thing for you

22:14

But I all I do know is that

22:16

I've kind of never been Happier

22:19

and at peace with what I have

22:21

going on That

22:23

whole river of negative thought if any

22:25

kind of even inkling of a negative

22:27

thought pops in I just

22:30

ignore it, you know and just I've

22:33

taken to Calling

22:36

them squatters. Oh, yeah, where

22:38

it's like man. You're not you're not

22:40

here today Good enough to fuck out here. Yep. I

22:42

do the same thing and I think

22:45

the grief had me Lashing

22:47

out the the grief like then the

22:49

ADHD didn't help but it's like it's

22:51

all impulsive behavior Well, the thing that

22:53

I remember about you. It's all I

22:55

remember No, the thing I remember about

22:57

you is did not take well to

22:59

hecklers Oh, I was always so

23:01

mean to hecklers Kevin Christie We say when you

23:03

when you when I would tell somebody to fuck

23:05

off. I really meant it Like

23:08

oh, I've got myself in so much trouble with hecklers

23:11

like I have some heckler stories where I should have

23:13

died I remember there was

23:15

a drug dealer in Coconut

23:18

Beach Then showed

23:20

up with white contact lenses. Here's

23:22

anybody wearing white fucking contact lenses

23:24

not not live Oh right in

23:26

my face white contacts grill cornrows

23:29

and Everybody

23:31

was doing a ton of blow at that Coconut

23:33

Grove improv that since has since shut down But

23:36

it was one of the first club that worked me So

23:39

I was there all the time and I show up one

23:41

day and they go. Hey, man It

23:43

was a weird shaped club that was yeah shaped

23:45

like yeah The stage is like a year when

23:48

you walk out and then yeah, there's there's tables

23:50

here But then there's a gap and then there's

23:52

tables back there So it is this you shaped

23:54

audience and you have a little section in front

23:57

of you But for the most part people split

23:59

off on the sides and they said in this

24:01

you right here 40 people

24:03

at a table and

24:06

it was the drug dealer

24:08

the local drug dealer this guy had

24:11

white contacts a grill and cornrows and

24:13

they said do not speak

24:16

to him because they know. Yeah. And

24:19

they go. And they're not going to talk they're

24:21

not going to. No we're not. They said it.

24:23

We're not intervening. He's a bad guy.

24:26

Yeah. But he's loyal

24:28

to the club. So he's going to come in and spend

24:30

a lot of money. We know who he is. This

24:33

is a bad person. If you

24:35

talk to him it's going to be

24:37

a problem. So I'm

24:40

sitting there and I do my set and I

24:42

let 25 minutes

24:44

a half hour go by of him

24:46

up at his table walking

24:49

around like he's hosting his daughter's wedding.

24:51

You like this guy? You like this guy?

24:53

Is it good? Huh? You

24:56

on a good time? The thing is

24:58

if you don't acknowledge it you lose credibility with the

25:00

audience. Yeah. And I'm looking at

25:02

this guy. And you're like. And then I

25:04

go fuck it. I go Tito. I

25:08

go you got to shut the fuck up. The other guy named Tito. His

25:10

name was Tito. I go Tito you got

25:12

to shut the fuck up. I go they told me not

25:14

to talk to you because they said you're a bad dude.

25:17

And I go but you know what I

25:19

don't care if I fucking die. I go

25:21

shut the fuck up and sit down right

25:24

now. I can't fucking. Tito. Tito.

25:28

Sit down. Sit down. It's

25:30

like your dog. It's a great

25:32

dog name. It actually is. So after the

25:34

show these assholes just leave me at a

25:36

small table top with my CDs. I

25:39

shouldn't have gone out there but I walk out

25:41

with my CDs and he

25:43

walks up with a goon. A

25:46

guy that is massive he's got this

25:48

six foot five guy that's with him.

25:52

He's a very popular drug dealer. You

25:54

got to have a goon. All right. And so

25:56

he says you have insulted me in front of

25:59

my friends. I thought, I didn't even

26:01

think he was fucking pissed. And I

26:03

go, no, Tito. I go,

26:05

you insulted me in front

26:07

of my, this is my work. This

26:10

is what I do for a living, and

26:12

you're talking all the way through it? I

26:14

so, so, if anyone owes an apology, it's

26:16

you owe me an apology for fucking disrupting

26:18

what I do and

26:20

not showing me respect. And

26:23

then inside, I remember going,

26:25

what did I just say? But

26:28

I knew that's all I could say. And

26:31

he took out a huge wad of cash,

26:33

peeled off like 400 bucks, threw

26:35

them at me, grabbed a stack of

26:37

my CDs and walked away. And he's been your

26:40

biggest fan of mine. He's

26:43

now he runs your website. I was

26:45

so dumb

26:47

with hecklers. I was like, couldn't stand it.

26:49

I just couldn't, I mean, so I've gone.

26:51

I'm with you. I find it so rude.

26:53

That's why when you go to a Largo,

26:56

or I remember being next to Blaine Capac

26:58

at UCB, and we were at a meltdown.

27:02

We were at meltdown, and UCB and

27:05

Largo are like this level.

27:07

Yeah. And he looked at me and it

27:10

was like Camille and Jonah were killing

27:12

with crowd work and premises. And

27:15

he looked at me and he goes, if

27:17

comedy was a video game, this would be level

27:19

one. Because it

27:22

was such a polite, well-mannered crowd with no

27:24

waitress and no alcohol. But

27:26

if you go into the cellar late at

27:28

night or a Friday night late show when

27:30

people have been working and people are boozed

27:32

out. Tired and drunk. Yeah. And

27:35

not interested. It's tough. You have

27:37

to be really fucking good. So

27:39

anyway, I was bad with people

27:41

being disruptive because I was very

27:43

impulsive. And that's what the ADHD

27:45

is, is no impulse control.

27:48

But it did manifest as drugs,

27:50

didn't manifest as alcohol. All

27:53

was rough with me when I go on the

27:55

road because there was nothing, I had no mon.

27:58

I wasn't getting on to wife or kids. And

28:01

I've you know in the early years of

28:03

stand-up, you know, I was Mitch Hedberg's opener

28:05

and I went out I had my my

28:08

runs I went out Dave for a tiny

28:10

bit. It was Chappelle I

28:12

got to be with him right when

28:14

he came back from Africa. Yep. That's

28:16

what I'd stop That's when I stopped.

28:18

I started and so he came

28:20

back. He saw me at the San Francisco punchline

28:23

says next to my little brother and I

28:27

get the note on stage Chappelle is here wrap

28:29

it up But I'm doing a headlining weekend. Yeah,

28:31

this is well over the years. It was 2005.

28:33

Yeah, so in 2005 I'm

28:36

doing my first big headlining weekend and

28:39

On my Saturday night. I get a Chappelle's here wrap it

28:42

up and In my mind, I'm

28:44

like no I'm gonna do my best 20

28:46

and then I'll go. Yeah, so I had a

28:50

Closed super strong. He's next to my little brother Dante

28:52

and he goes who the fuck is this guy and

28:54

Dante goes this is my brother so

28:57

he Loved

28:59

me from seeing me do well Then

29:02

we went down to the store and I

29:05

knew that Mitzi was

29:07

gonna try to put up John

29:09

Caparulo So I walked

29:12

backstage at the store just having having

29:14

done this weekend with him Walk

29:16

backstage at the and I to see Jimmy the door

29:19

guy or whatever somebody blocking it I go Hey Jimmy

29:21

like that and I walk right by him and I

29:23

go sit in the green room and no one

29:25

was in it and then Rick

29:27

Greenstein came in and then

29:29

a couple people filtered into that green room and

29:34

I knew what Dave was gonna say and Dave walks in

29:36

he goes. Oh man You know, you know you want to

29:38

do it. You want to do a guest set? Yeah, and

29:41

I go I'd love to and I

29:43

went out and did seven but that was in

29:45

front of Eddie Murphy Yeah, Bruce Willis. Eddie Murphy

29:47

was sitting next to Bruce Willis. It was yeah,

29:49

and Like a painting

29:52

dude Leonardo DiCaprio. Yeah Joaquin

29:55

Phoenix It was a

29:57

ton of people remember seeing can you Paris

30:00

years later, he's like, I was at that show.

30:02

Fucking killed. So and that's

30:04

when I was doing a ton of stand up.

30:06

So when I was really like out and practiced,

30:08

you know, and hitting those rhythms that we talked

30:11

about, like it was, it was all working and

30:13

it was a great, and I got this little

30:15

standing ovation and system of

30:17

the down was like, like, can I get

30:19

your phone number? Like those guys wanted to

30:21

like hang out. Like it was

30:23

great. How can we learn from you? Yeah. That

30:26

was when that song. Yeah. Yeah.

30:28

Yeah. Like everything was so

30:30

cool. Like, and I was talking about, I

30:32

had this bit about Armenian babies. So they

30:35

thought that was like amazing because they're all

30:37

Armenian. So went out with Dave.

30:39

I went out with Daniel Tosh, who I

30:42

think is a very. Incredible comedian.

30:44

How does, I hope you, I don't

30:46

know enough, but David Spade

30:49

and Daniel Tosh. Great

30:51

comics. Like both very, very funny.

30:54

David Spade on any podcast. So

30:56

fucking funny. But David Spade

30:59

on Smartless up against any podcast.

31:01

Like I think he's. Yeah. I

31:03

can't, I haven't heard it, but.

31:05

Wonderful. I'm sure. Just

31:07

hilarious. Yes. He kills

31:09

me. Yeah. He's so funny. They

31:12

had Michael Keaton on with bad audio the other

31:14

day, because I love Michael Keaton as well. And

31:16

they had him on with bad audio and he

31:18

was so fucking funny because he just mumbles, he

31:21

tagged some stuff that they

31:24

just breeze by. I think David Spade is

31:26

one of the funniest. Daniel Tosh is one

31:28

of the funniest. And so

31:30

I went out with Tosh, but spent a

31:32

lot of time on the road with Mitch

31:35

and we were going at it. I

31:37

mean, there was, there was, we were, everybody was partying

31:39

it up, you know, and it was a lot

31:42

of late night. Heroin? I

31:44

didn't see heroin. Okay. But.

31:48

He did. He did. And he put it

31:50

in his phone. Yeah. It was tricky. And

31:53

I really, you know, cared a lot about him. He was great. Yeah.

31:57

It's, it was, that was tough. And then, you

31:59

know, again, Again, we've seen so many

32:01

comics do this like Gerardo and

32:03

go down this path of my

32:06

uncle, when I first started, said, hey,

32:08

watch out for the nightlife. We

32:12

have free booze everywhere we go. So

32:15

alcoholism runs

32:17

rampant because now we got these guys that

32:19

can sleep till 2 p.m. every

32:21

single day. And if

32:23

you don't have any self-control, you're in deep

32:25

shit. Because I have free liquor and people

32:27

that want to party with me nonstop. I

32:29

remember going to the comedy store. Remember that

32:32

Taiwanese cop huck they used to work there?

32:35

No. Really? I

32:37

read that until 08 really. Okay.

32:40

So he says, I'd roll up on a Tuesday. He

32:42

knew I liked Crown Royal. The

32:45

liquor rep gave him a special bottle of

32:47

Crown Royal. He'd see me

32:49

coming through like if I was standing

32:52

in the entrance way, he'd see me

32:54

through the double doors and

32:56

start pouring a shot. And I'd be like, huck, it's

32:58

Tuesday. Yeah. It's Tuesday. No,

33:01

I can't. And so, and

33:03

then you. Yeah.

33:06

So it's easy to be a drunk. So

33:08

okay. And I, I drank on

33:10

the road. Go back to grief. Back to grief.

33:13

So how did you figure it out? I

33:16

think when I really started, I identified

33:19

that as the problem that

33:22

I was still not over my dad's

33:24

death. And this is like, I

33:26

think I'm going to the doctor. I

33:29

did not feel well. And she

33:31

said, do you think people

33:33

in your family mask depression with

33:35

drugs and alcohol? And

33:37

I said, I'm Mexican and Sicilian. You're a bitch.

33:40

Yeah. I go, no, I go, yes,

33:42

100%. She goes, does anybody in your

33:44

family drink? And I go, 100% of the people drink.

33:49

I go, the kids drink. Everyone

33:51

drinks. Everyone gambles. There's such

33:53

addictive personalities on both sides. Cock

33:55

fights. Yeah, no, I don't fucking

33:58

doubt it. Yes. I

34:01

want to see that. I did a daily show

34:03

piece about cock fighting. In Puerto

34:05

Rico? They used to have it openly in Puerto Rico.

34:09

It was in Louisiana, but

34:12

they were trying to call it chicken boxing.

34:14

And they were trying to put little tiny

34:16

boxing gloves on. And

34:19

I went out to ... I had a guy, you

34:21

know, as a Latino guy in a suit driving

34:23

through rural Louisiana, had a guy run after

34:26

the car. Like, looked at me, saw who

34:28

I was, and started running after the car.

34:31

And then I was like, go, go. Like, you

34:33

already just run at your vehicle? And

34:36

then went to a farm

34:39

deep in the middle of

34:41

nowhere where they were clearly cock fighting. And

34:43

I go, hey fellas, if these two

34:46

chickens were to go at it, roosters, whatever they were,

34:48

you know, I go, who wins? And he goes, I

34:50

go, if it was real. And he goes, if

34:53

it was real. I was like,

34:55

no, it's real. These guys are

34:57

fighting dogs. It was horrible. But

35:01

the addiction on the Sicilian

35:03

and sort of like, you know,

35:05

family history, like, of

35:07

Mexican Sicilian, I got a bat on both

35:09

sides. And so it's important for me to keep

35:11

that shit in check. How did you figure the

35:14

dad stuff out? You just took the time?

35:16

I think it's like when she said, are

35:18

you masking depression with alcohol? And

35:21

I wasn't like drinking a ton, but do

35:23

you have a family history of people trying

35:25

to mask their depression? Are you depressed? And

35:28

I was like, I think I am a little depressed.

35:30

Yeah. And so that was like the

35:32

first sign. And that was about

35:34

three years after he passed that I

35:37

started to realize that was

35:39

probably the root of a lot of it.

35:41

And I think the ADHD had

35:43

me kind of like spiraling out of

35:45

control into a negative place and having

35:48

a lot of like very negative thoughts.

35:50

And would you, so how do you

35:52

properly agree? You like take an hour?

35:55

I think Jewish people and their

35:57

tradition of grief. They

36:00

have it figured out where they do

36:02

go through an entire process where they're

36:04

meeting on a regular basis and they

36:06

really formally say goodbye and they get

36:08

rid of it. You

36:13

just can't carry it all with you

36:15

constantly. I think that's what

36:17

everybody in my family does. My mom,

36:19

my dad was passing as he was

36:21

dying, grabs my mom's hand

36:23

and says, never date. Just

36:26

fuck. Just fuck. Just

36:28

fuck. Just fuck. Just fuck these. Oh

36:30

my God, if my mom listens. Oh

36:35

God. Okay.

36:38

I want to hear about this low light reel.

36:40

Well that's again, that's why I wanted to start

36:42

with the ADHD because again, it's the people

36:47

who can't sleep at night. But why is

36:49

it negative, do you think? Because I'm thinking

36:51

positive stuff and I'm thinking negative stuff at

36:53

the same time and I just ... Why

36:56

do I not have a positive highlight reel?

36:58

Yeah. I mean, yeah. It's

37:00

like I've talked about having to write down on an index

37:02

card like good things I've done. Yeah.

37:05

Because you want to remind yourself. So I think,

37:07

and again, I need

37:09

to go to more therapy and I

37:12

didn't go forever. I found this great

37:14

guy. He gave me tools

37:17

to help me stop doing this. And

37:20

I think once I got on this

37:22

five ants, I completely stopped doing it,

37:24

which is great. So

37:27

I watch it just be like sugar pills. I'm not

37:30

on anything. But I

37:32

really do feel much better and I stopped

37:34

doing that. What was it? Where

37:36

did it come from? Why did I do it? Fuck if

37:38

I know? I was just doing it. I think it's

37:41

like evolutionary protection

37:47

with ADHD sprinkles.

37:49

Like you just want it. We're scanning for

37:51

threats all the time. So then

37:53

we're like, one time, it's

37:56

all these like one time I fucked up, I'm

37:58

the threat. the problem and

38:01

am I stupid? I'm stupid, I'm stupid, I'm

38:03

stupid. I'm stupid. I'm not stupid. Don't be

38:05

stupid. Yeah. Um, yeah.

38:07

And then you're, and then you're just in a

38:09

loop all the time. Constantly in the loop. It

38:11

was actually going through COVID. And

38:14

I know COVID was horrible for a

38:16

lot of people. I loved it. I'm

38:18

gonna say the same thing. So I'm glad you

38:20

said it because I got a ton of time with

38:22

the family and we all really became closer. I figured

38:25

a lot of stuff out for myself. And

38:28

so that was when things got a lot better

38:30

for me. It was during COVID.

38:32

Mental health wise. Mental health wise,

38:35

yeah. Because you got to spend, you

38:37

got to slow down. I really got to,

38:39

there was no pressure. You know, when

38:41

you have kids in Hollywood and a family in

38:43

Hollywood, you know, when I came down here, there's

38:45

no fucking around. I came down

38:47

here with a boronio. I can't imagine what it

38:49

must be like, because I'm, I

38:52

don't have a kid, but my girl has a

38:54

kid. And so I can see how it

38:57

must focus

39:00

you. Yeah. And because

39:03

it, it kind of focuses me in a weird

39:05

way. And you have to really divorce yourself from

39:07

ego. I'm kidding. Well, no,

39:09

you think about a lot of the comedians

39:11

that have been super successful, that have been

39:14

able to just like really

39:16

focus, but even the ones

39:18

that are like selfish to the point where they

39:20

don't have families and they don't have, you know,

39:22

they're just so career oriented and then they do

39:24

that later in life. But I

39:27

think it's, it's,

39:29

there's no fucking around. There's a lot of pressure

39:31

to do well. And then you have, you know,

39:33

when I would go into auditions and I have

39:35

so many that I wish I had, I've been

39:38

lucky enough to act and work for a long

39:40

time, but I go into auditions

39:42

like I needed it. I didn't

39:44

want it. Yeah. You

39:46

absolutely needed that money. And

39:49

that led to me being like

39:51

chatty with the casting director

39:53

or overly chatty and fucking really

39:56

weird and bad or

39:58

good. I mean, I've gotten enough. stuff where

40:00

I've focused, but I

40:04

knock right now. And those were like a lot

40:07

of the moments I'd play back. I'm like, yeah.

40:10

So when I go into a

40:12

situation, like even social anxiety stuff,

40:14

or just so anxious going

40:16

into a big party, if you go to one of

40:19

these big Hollywood parties, you seem like you'd be great

40:21

at all this stuff. You know a

40:23

lot of people. I know a lot of people. I like

40:25

one-on-one. I don't like parties.

40:28

I think I've gone to my

40:30

last party. I have a tendency

40:32

to over talk and then walk away

40:35

going, oh, you dummy. What did you say

40:37

that to that guy for? And

40:39

so it's like, then you're thinking about

40:41

that forever. You can't sleep at night.

40:44

I was waking up at two, three

40:46

o'clock in the morning every

40:48

single night and then going, you

40:52

know like river of 25,000 thoughts

40:54

and a lot of them negative. And just

40:56

like, it was difficult for me to go

40:58

back to sleep. Then you wake up the

41:00

next day and you've gotten

41:02

four hours of sleep and you're not

41:04

great. So luckily

41:07

all that seems to be pretty much behind

41:09

me. Thanks to COVID. Thanks

41:11

to COVID. A lot

41:13

of people aren't talking about the positive. A

41:16

lot of people died. You've been vocal about

41:18

how COVID you've done it. I

41:21

liked being by myself. I liked the isolation.

41:25

I liked the fact that we could just

41:27

stop being competitive for

41:29

a second. Just like,

41:32

can we just be human beings in

41:34

business wise? Put the sword

41:36

down. Let's just see

41:38

what we're doing here. What

41:40

is this experience? This

41:43

is great. And I

41:45

didn't really miss doing stand up. I

41:47

love doing stand up. Did you do any of

41:49

that stand up out of the trunks? I

41:52

did a few with a

41:54

cab, the back of the pickup. That's

41:57

kind of the nail in the coffin of me. But I would do

41:59

like one of week or something, like tops.

42:04

And I did a few on video show. I would just

42:06

try it and then be like, I don't need ... If

42:10

you do it long enough, you go, I just need

42:12

to know if these jokes work. So

42:15

then I can do them anywhere. But

42:18

I don't ... This thing of the atel thing of

42:20

like, I got to do it every night and I

42:22

got to do that and it's

42:24

like, all right. It turns out you don't.

42:29

Yeah. And then I was able to stockpile

42:31

material and put out two

42:33

specials in a year and a half.

42:35

The thing for me also that got

42:37

me away from stand up was I

42:39

did a show with an older comic

42:42

and we were talking about kids and he said he didn't

42:44

watch his kids grow up. As

42:46

I ... Yeah, I'm not going to do that. So

42:49

I completely took myself ... Did he regret it

42:51

or was he just like, eh? I think he

42:53

didn't mind. I do. So

42:55

I knew the end was coming. I see how quickly

42:57

these guys are going to be out of the house

42:59

and so I just wanted to really maximize my time

43:01

with my wife and my kids in

43:04

these kids' formative years so I could be

43:06

there to help them with an art project

43:08

or whatever it was just in case maybe

43:11

they don't have enough homework and we can

43:13

watch some below deck Mediterranean together or whatever

43:15

it is and hang out. So

43:18

just trying to maximize all that time because

43:20

I know it's fleeting and so ... You

43:22

were instantly aware of how fleeting it was.

43:24

Well, yes, because I saw

43:27

it happening. I was watching my kids get older and

43:29

older but then talking to other kids with ... other

43:32

people with kids out of the house and

43:35

saw some neighbors nearby

43:38

and just watched that dad kind of

43:40

putz around. I'm like, I'm turning

43:42

into that guy and I

43:45

know I'm going to be him soon.

43:48

So maybe I think I want to be here as much as

43:50

I possibly can be and I was right. That

43:52

was a very smart choice on my part. What

43:55

you have to do is divorce

43:57

yourself from that ego. Of

44:00

you know, it feels great to go out and do stand

44:02

up and I can do it very well I've been going to

44:04

the ice house on a regular basis. I'm actually doing I think

44:06

i'm going to do a spot at

44:09

the store for the first time this week and

44:12

um Like it

44:15

feels great. Yeah, i'm good at it. I wrote

44:17

a new 10 minutes that it really works It

44:19

might be one of the better things i've done

44:22

And I it feels fantastic What

44:26

I find interesting about children Just

44:29

again spending time with my girls get held This

44:32

is three and a half. Oh my god. That's a great age.

44:34

She's so fun Yeah, we didn't have

44:36

a coffee table for years because of the wrestling

44:38

like I would just be like I

44:41

would get my son and be like, okay, let's go

44:43

Yeah, dad He'd jump off the couch and grab

44:45

me like and then so funny because they tend

44:47

to go down the coffee table really is an

44:49

impediment Oh my god, of what they want to

44:52

do. Yeah. Yeah, we need to get rid of

44:54

that coffee table and do some major Pillow

44:56

fighting wrestling. Yeah, it's going down. It's a

44:58

ring. Yes And

45:00

what I find interesting is the thing I

45:02

liked about covet which is There

45:05

is no status

45:08

here the only status

45:10

with a kid is Focus

45:14

Being with them and paying attention to them.

45:17

There's no cool way to do it there's

45:20

no Uh

45:23

higher better it's

45:25

either it's binary you're either paying attention

45:27

to them and engaging with them Or

45:30

you're not well, that's why I left the daily shows

45:32

The only reason I left the daily show is because

45:34

john and I had kids the exact same age And

45:37

I was commuting back and forth between la

45:39

and new york. I didn't bring everybody out

45:41

with me Yeah, and I was missing them

45:43

terribly So I already lost that chunk those

45:45

chunks of time like thinking I was on

45:48

the road non-stop for two and a half

45:50

years When I was on that show

45:52

and finally when I got cast in a

45:55

tv show because jason katum's back came backstage

45:58

Um, like rory albany's who He was

46:00

one of the EPs at the time would like

46:02

pawn people off on us. He's like, hey, I

46:04

got this guy. Can you tour him around? It

46:06

turns out to be Jason and Cathy Catoms. And

46:09

then he can- Who were they? I

46:11

know Jason. Jason and Cathy is his

46:13

wife, but Jason did Friday

46:15

Night Lights, Parenthood, and then the

46:18

show I was on About a

46:20

Boy. And so

46:22

he cast me in that. And

46:24

I went to John. I was like, hey, man, I

46:26

miss my kids. And I got cast in this TV

46:28

show. Dude, I totally get

46:30

it. And then that's

46:32

what Shrimp and Ain't Easy comes from, the

46:35

special that we did together. My shrimp story

46:37

comes from me acting out because I was

46:39

commuting so much. So

46:42

that's when I hid shrimp all over my daughter's ballet

46:44

studio because I was having to fly out to go

46:47

back to that fucking daily show. And he was here

46:49

at ADHD. And he was impulsive. And

46:52

I'm irrational, and I'm telling old ladies to fuck

46:54

off. Yeah. He's in Sicilian. What

46:56

are you going to do? I'm going to do a Bafangul.

46:59

We get a long history of being

47:02

guys who drink after work.

47:04

Yeah, it's pretty well at

47:06

work. Yes.

47:08

How did I do in terms of, I

47:10

think it was pretty cohesive. No, we're not

47:12

done. Social

47:14

anxiety. Yeah, that was tricky. But

47:17

you say that you think I would be

47:20

good at socially. I think you see me

47:22

be better because people, I think you- I

47:25

seem severe. I think severe

47:28

is interesting. You seem to

47:30

know how to navigate Hollywood

47:32

better than most people. And

47:35

I would go to a CAA ME

47:37

party and just be

47:39

terrified. Terrified. To

47:42

walk in. I was just like, because

47:44

I knew I was really not trying

47:46

to say anything dumb. And

47:49

so, or over talk. Again, I was

47:51

just like- I

47:53

always saw all of this stuff. General

47:56

meanings, pitches, and

47:58

some- maybe a

48:01

dozen parties lifetime. Crowd

48:03

work. You're just

48:05

doing crowd work. You're just going, what's going

48:07

on here? Hey, what's this? You ask them

48:09

about them and get them talking about them.

48:12

We always said, and this is me and

48:14

my wife talking, interested, not interesting. I would

48:17

always talk to them, like, how are you?

48:19

I want to know about you. You can

48:21

do that mirroring thing. Yeah. You just ask

48:24

them. Yep. Match their breathing. Jesus.

48:27

I'd hate to think it would be that calculated,

48:29

but I was always just being my fun and

48:32

funny self and

48:34

hated some things that would

48:36

result from that. So it was

48:39

tricky for me to go to

48:42

some things. I luckily got over

48:44

that completely. Have a great time. COVID?

48:48

My events? How'd

48:50

you get over it? This was the therapist checking

48:52

in with my doing a little self check-in before

48:54

I'd go into it and just feeling like, all

48:56

right. I went to a party a month

48:59

ago and I've

49:03

been doing a thing lately and I talked about it,

49:05

which is a gratitude

49:07

checklist. Again, gratitude's the

49:10

corniest. It seems

49:12

all sin. It's lame. It's ooprified,

49:15

self-help, pseudo-spirit. It's

49:18

one of the most effective things I've ever done in my

49:20

life. I do it four times

49:22

a day. I just do

49:24

a gratitude checklist. It takes about 40 seconds

49:27

and I just remind myself that

49:29

I'm incredibly lucky and

49:32

that this life that I have is

49:34

a gift and I don't

49:37

have real problems. I have preferences

49:40

and appointments, but I

49:42

don't have any real problems. Sure. And I did it on

49:44

the way to a party because it was going to be

49:46

a lot of... What we're talking

49:49

about. Heavy hitters and I

49:51

just wanted to remind myself, you are

49:53

not what you think people's perception of

49:55

you is. You are who you are.

49:57

You are who you are. know

50:00

yourself to be, but I did it.

50:02

I pulled over on the weight of

50:04

the party. There's no downside

50:07

to any of

50:09

this. It really fucking helps me. Same thing.

50:11

Just the

50:15

check-ins is the same sort of shit, and

50:17

it really fucking works. I went into this thing. I got

50:21

named. I wrote a comic book, and

50:23

that comic book is doing well, and it

50:25

got me on this council for the comic

50:27

book, this creative council. Which

50:30

sounds like a comic book thing. A council. Yeah,

50:33

I was at a council. Exterior. High

50:35

back chair. Well,

50:39

the chair back is way higher than the

50:41

_____. You spin around. Well, now to begin

50:43

the council. It really was like that Dr.

50:45

Evil sort of conference table. We met,

50:47

and it was, you know, it was very

50:55

important people, and it

50:58

was at a insane Beverly Hills

51:00

house right away. I had to

51:02

do seven

51:04

minutes in the fireplace. They

51:06

had me do stand-up. It was crazy. A

51:09

fireplace hearth so big- That you could do stand-up

51:11

in it. You could do stand-up in it. Yes.

51:14

And so I popped up on that.

51:16

Didn't need a microphone, but spoke to,

51:18

you know, did seven minutes- Of comic

51:20

book stuff? I did

51:23

the machete story that I

51:25

did in- Our

51:28

war special. Yeah.

51:30

And that did great. Just

51:34

as that is my grandfather killed

51:36

somebody with a machete in self-defense,

51:39

and long story short, that's why I'm Beverly Hills

51:41

doing stand-up in a fireplace. So here

51:43

we are. Yeah. I

51:46

told that long version of that story and

51:48

went great and then talked to a bunch

51:50

of people, but felt really good about it

51:52

afterwards. And years past, would have been freaking

51:54

the fuck out the entire time I was

51:57

there. How many people? It

51:59

was probably a- about 50 people

52:01

there. I mean, at one point, I

52:04

walked outside and was met with, hi, Al, Jerry

52:08

Bruckheimer. Nice to meet you. You're one of those.

52:11

Yes. So, it was

52:13

pretty nuts. And you- I

52:15

feel like self check-ins, and like before, what

52:17

you're talking about with that gratitude list really

52:20

helps you get through a lot of shit.

52:22

And it's like, okay, brain, how you doing?

52:24

Here we go. We are going to go

52:26

to this fucking party. You deserve to be

52:29

there because you are a prolific creator and

52:31

you're fucking good at this shit. Yep. And

52:34

people should be lucky to fucking meet you. You're not

52:36

going to over talk. You're going to fucking stick and

52:38

move throughout conversations. The crowd work is a great way

52:40

to think about it. Yep. You

52:42

dance around the crowd. You have a good time and you get the fuck out

52:44

of there. And the other thing about

52:46

parties is people want the conversation to end. Yeah.

52:49

Meaning, so you think like, has it been long enough?

52:51

It's been long enough. It's no

52:54

one wants- there's- that's

52:56

the thing about parties is there's always, I

52:58

got to go to the bar. I got

53:01

to check, get my coat. I

53:03

got it's fine, Steve. I got it.

53:05

Everyone's got to- I'm going to go

53:07

grab another drink. Do you want anything?

53:09

I'm going to go check out this

53:12

food. Yep. You got to have

53:14

enough of those in your back pocket. Yep. To

53:16

say what you got to say. And then you pull a, I'm

53:18

going to go check on my wife. I'll be

53:20

right back. Correct. Yep. It's

53:22

all set up to succeed. But old me just

53:24

stayed in it and just over

53:27

talked. Really? I remember-

53:29

Were you over sharing? Were you over talking

53:31

and sharing? Over talking and sharing. I would

53:33

be way too honest. Like somebody's like, hey,

53:36

we got to get you back on the

53:38

show. I don't think so. I

53:41

Didn't have a great time on the show.

53:43

You Talking about a daily show or anything?

53:45

No, another thing. I was like, why would

53:47

I fucking say that? Just say, yeah, yeah,

53:49

sounds great. I'm fucking, I Got to go

53:51

get a drink and get the fuck out

53:53

of there. I Went to a party over

53:55

at somebody's house and I grabbed Mary Lynn

53:57

Raskop because we were, it was, I'll just

53:59

say, is it? There's overturned kill themselves

54:01

or her and it observer Palisades

54:03

move is Evan his party and

54:05

I go to a column. Mary

54:07

Lynn rescap and I go. I'll.

54:10

Only go of hugo. And Don't

54:12

leave My side the entire fucking time.

54:15

And she goes on. I got tickets

54:17

at her you know him Hell yes

54:19

please. That has great Okay so we

54:21

walked around that party and worked at

54:23

like a married couple and it was

54:25

fantastic. We like sort of manage shit

54:27

man we lost sight of each other

54:29

and I got locked and with somebody

54:31

and then as a scientist overtime to

54:33

kept somebody too long he was eat

54:35

they he was doing the same thing

54:37

so we were in this long conversation.

54:39

I don't want to be in any

54:41

long conversation at any these things I

54:43

just wanna like Stick and moves. And

54:45

man, my way around the party so

54:48

have gotten much better at that. It's

54:50

speed dating. Yeah. It's be

54:52

there and they don't know point thing if

54:54

that's how I battled the social anxiety but

54:56

again I think it all comes from a

54:58

D C. and if anyone's listening to this

55:00

and watching as that has a similar. Issue

55:03

with a lot of impulsive sides and

55:05

hasn't been were older we haven't gotten

55:07

diagnose for the A D H D.

55:09

I think that really getting a control

55:11

of that. Solves. A

55:14

host of all of these other problems that

55:16

we're talking about. That's why they're slowing your

55:18

brain. Them slowed down. Read. Other

55:20

big one is don't bully. I literally wrote

55:23

in my journal they don't believe a word

55:25

my brain says. it's a liar. Don't believe

55:27

any of it. Yes, It. Is doesn't

55:29

have my best interest in on it's

55:31

own. It's. Got it's own saying that

55:33

it's still and. Tantrum and

55:36

like. The obviously have to

55:38

listen to some of it. But. It's

55:40

trust but verify by way. It's so

55:43

funny. Come into this podcast. I don't

55:45

talk to anybody about any. Advice:

55:48

I really don't I have a

55:50

i've just. Started. a

55:52

vague on weakness meaning magical like boy

55:55

day all active my mom years ago

55:57

that yet to therapy aziz they ads

55:59

not for Like, we don't do that. We

56:03

come from- The bastion is her mom? It's her

56:05

baby. I go to a therapist. My

56:08

family don't do any of this.

56:10

No therapy, no battering. Since

56:12

going to therapy made a prior, so

56:14

you've, you

56:16

seemed like you always had pretty good priorities.

56:19

You were just like ambitious in a work

56:22

oriented way. Yeah, like a blue collar

56:24

work ethic when it came to Hollywood

56:26

stuff. You automatically are considered prolific if

56:28

you work eight hours a day. Yeah,

56:31

it's the job. What do you

56:34

think we're supposed to be doing? I remember hearing

56:36

that Birbiglia and Mulaney and all those guys shared

56:38

a little New York office. You

56:40

remember that? Yeah. And they showed

56:42

up like- The office hours. Why

56:44

wouldn't you? It's not that hard. Yeah. I

56:47

have a CBS overall, so I work on that. And then

56:49

I write quite a bit, wrote

56:52

a movie, wrote this comic book. I think that

56:54

ideally the comic book, I think it's happening, is

56:56

going to get turned into a movie or a

56:58

place in. So we're, and

57:00

then being on Lopez, then

57:02

having kids out of the house, I have an office. Did

57:04

you audition for Lopez? I did. But

57:07

George had promised, I did

57:09

a pilot with George. And I was

57:12

always like fifth on the call sheet, you go in

57:14

and when you're working on a scripted

57:16

show and you're an actor and it's a comedy, I

57:19

got eight lines and they all need

57:21

to be home runs. So I did

57:23

this pilot with them that Morgan Murphy

57:25

wrote called El Barlito and I hit

57:27

eight homers and he's like, you're with

57:29

me. So he said next time

57:31

this show didn't work out, but if I ever get

57:34

another show, you're gonna play my best friend on it.

57:36

And sure enough, made me his best friend on the

57:38

show. And it's like this

57:40

second season, I think it took a little while to

57:42

figure out, but we're in the midst of shooting our

57:44

second season now. And the show comes out on April

57:46

2nd. I'm not sure when this- It did good though,

57:48

right? It did great. They put it

57:51

on Netflix. They put it on the show. But the

57:53

second season, it takes a long time for these shows

57:55

to get their footing. So I'll be

57:57

completely honest. The first

57:59

season- season, some episodes are better than others as in

58:01

all shows. Christmas

58:04

episode, season one, I would have you

58:06

watch. I think it's great. And

58:09

then this second season, I think they're all great.

58:12

Great. How many? 10 of

58:14

them? We're doing 10 because of the strike, but then hopefully

58:16

we get picked up for season three and we do another 22. I've

58:19

had really good experiences with

58:21

George. I golfed with George

58:23

yesterday morning. That's

58:25

another thing that I found. I took up

58:28

golf during COVID. Great. I

58:30

golfed in high school and caddied, so I kind of got

58:32

it out of my head. Long walks in the park with

58:34

friends and I play with

58:36

a ton of comedians. I play with Jay

58:38

Larson, Rory Scovill, Sklarz, and

58:41

Scott Armstrong, Rob Huebel.

58:44

There's so many very funny people that you're

58:46

walking along with and just dying

58:49

laughing the entire time. Really

58:53

enjoy that. But

58:56

I played golf with George and he's wonderful.

58:58

He's in such a great place. And

59:00

I think what's tricky

59:02

with Latino comedians is

59:04

that there were so few parts and it's actually

59:07

gotten worse. Lopez versus Lopez

59:10

is the only show, and maybe you can

59:12

help me think about this, with a Latino

59:14

ensemble that's on

59:17

television, network, or

59:19

streaming. And it's

59:21

fucked up. We're 20% of the population and

59:24

only 4% of the characters in film and

59:26

TV. And we might

59:28

be the only Latino ensemble show. Gina

59:30

Rodriguez has dead to me, but that's

59:32

her just as a lead, which is fantastic. She's

59:35

great. But

59:37

nothing else. There's Acapulco. I don't know. And

59:39

that's on Apple. I don't know if that's coming

59:42

back. And there was that show Primo on freebies.

59:44

Freebies. I don't know. Freebies

59:46

coming back. I'm, of course, very interested

59:48

in this. And it

59:51

comes down to cultural

59:53

stereotypes, good and bad, is

59:56

kind of define

59:58

movies. cast,

1:00:01

meaning terrorists,

1:00:05

Middle Eastern, Russian, there's

1:00:09

this sort of Norway, there's

1:00:12

this sort of like, you know, Norwegian sort

1:00:14

of ice cold guy. It used

1:00:17

to, you could throw a Yakuza in, it's

1:00:21

never gonna be an African, it's

1:00:23

never gonna be an Australian. But the narcos.

1:00:25

It's never gonna be. Right. The ethos guy.

1:00:27

But then like, then you go

1:00:30

Mexican, Latina, Central American, Central American. Sure, look

1:00:32

at this latest Mission Impossible with East-State Morales

1:00:34

is playing the big bad in this one.

1:00:36

So in the- Is it out yet? The

1:00:38

one that came out? They did both back

1:00:40

in the day. Oh, right, right, right. And

1:00:43

we're Ozark, we're bad guys. It's

1:00:45

like, what do you see on the news? What

1:00:48

do you see? Sure. And that defi- again, and

1:00:50

I used to say, if you're British in a

1:00:52

movie, you're gay or a villain

1:00:54

or a love interest. Well, this

1:00:56

is what I say, well, and with

1:00:58

Squid Game, that was compelling,

1:01:01

intriguing. It could have been anyone. It

1:01:03

didn't, like, it could have been Latinos,

1:01:05

it could have been, you

1:01:07

know, black people. You know, again, it could

1:01:09

have been anything. It would just happen to

1:01:12

be Korean, but it really could have been

1:01:14

in any language and people would watch that

1:01:16

shit. So it was just

1:01:18

how it came out and how intriguing it

1:01:20

was. And was that a COVID thing as

1:01:22

well? Like then- The success of it or

1:01:24

the shoot? I don't know. I think the

1:01:26

success of it, maybe we were all at a time where

1:01:28

we were all- I think Squid

1:01:30

Game is going to be, I think they're

1:01:32

making more. I think it's going to be

1:01:34

a juggernaut for ten years. Yes. But it

1:01:37

is interesting, like, why- The shows just have

1:01:39

to be great. I don't think, like, okay,

1:01:41

sure, like we all have, like, types that

1:01:43

we fit into and you see you're a

1:01:45

Hollywood producer and you see a lot of

1:01:47

maids and gardeners or Latino in Los Angeles

1:01:49

and you write parts for

1:01:52

maids and gardeners that are Latino. I get that.

1:01:54

You see a lot of gang bangers that are

1:01:56

Latino. We get those parts as well. We're sick

1:01:58

of that. But, you

1:02:01

know, they try, the shows just have to be

1:02:03

great. It doesn't matter. The premise has

1:02:05

to be good. They have to be compelling no

1:02:07

matter what. It's also like you need a George.

1:02:10

You do need a George. You need it. And

1:02:12

we don't have a lot of George's because of that problem in the

1:02:14

first place. Right. So we just don't

1:02:16

have the talent. And in a time where we're going

1:02:18

to be building shows around a big juggernaut, you know,

1:02:21

celebrity, we don't have a ton of them. Yeah,

1:02:23

it's a weird thing. And then Pascal establishes himself

1:02:25

and now all of a sudden he's one. But

1:02:27

it does, you need like a

1:02:29

Denzel. Yep. And a The

1:02:31

Rock. And if

1:02:34

you're doing a TV show, you need

1:02:36

a Dave or a

1:02:39

Nick Cannon or a

1:02:41

Donald Glover. I

1:02:44

don't think Three Bees does it though. You need

1:02:47

a like just a Morgan

1:02:49

Frant, you just need like a guy,

1:02:51

a guy

1:02:53

who can, a woman, a Sandra

1:02:55

Bosani Bullock who can just cut

1:02:58

to her again. I still like it. Cut

1:03:00

to her. Yep. I'm

1:03:02

still somehow compelled by the play.

1:03:04

And I think they've, that Bernie

1:03:06

Brilstein of TV makes stars that

1:03:09

you watch jury duty. And

1:03:12

that's a massive hit because people are craving

1:03:14

something new and all the shows seem exactly

1:03:17

like the same show. So I mean, that's what

1:03:20

NBC is having a great amount of success with

1:03:22

is that they're bringing back like they're doing a

1:03:25

Reba pilot. Meat and potatoes. Yep. They've

1:03:28

got Night Court, George, John

1:03:30

Cryer on Extended Family. And

1:03:34

so I'm lucky enough to be on this

1:03:36

show and it's been, it's a multi-cam. If

1:03:38

you don't know, if any people don't know

1:03:40

about how great multi-cams are,

1:03:42

I get to do all my other

1:03:45

shit and get

1:03:48

to work on other things because my

1:03:50

schedule is the absolute best. We

1:03:53

work four hours

1:03:55

a day, pretty much every single day and

1:03:57

then shoot with the exception of our shoot

1:03:59

nights. So it's a pretty

1:04:01

wonderful schedule. Yeah. So it's

1:04:04

about 25 hours? It's a great gig.

1:04:06

Yes. If that.

1:04:08

Yeah. And then success, we'll thank you if you're on

1:04:10

a big bank theory. They don't even work on Fridays. They don't do a network run

1:04:12

through. So every- They're too precious.

1:04:15

You can't have them doing

1:04:17

actual work. It'll get wrinkles. I'm

1:04:19

fucking up the merchandise. Yeah. So

1:04:23

you've had good values.

1:04:25

You've continued to work and

1:04:27

you've gotten a hold of yourself. Yes.

1:04:30

And I think really preaching to

1:04:32

myself, the most important thing is

1:04:34

happiness of those around me and

1:04:36

myself and then health. Physically

1:04:40

I'm trying to walk

1:04:43

as much as I possibly can. I

1:04:45

work out. And so this

1:04:47

happy, healthy, ultra successful is that mantra

1:04:49

that I've got in my head nonstop.

1:04:52

So I've just really been like- Ultra

1:04:54

successful meaning what? I'm

1:04:56

focusing and I'm doing my work. I

1:04:58

don't want to work at the

1:05:00

expense of my health and my

1:05:02

happiness. So that's why those are priorities

1:05:05

because I don't value money. I

1:05:08

love money. Money is wonderful.

1:05:10

However, happy, healthy, way before

1:05:12

money. And then I

1:05:14

would like to see

1:05:17

if I can help out this Latino problem as much

1:05:19

as I possibly can. I'm

1:05:21

constantly putting

1:05:23

together TV packages and

1:05:27

creating shows with predominantly Latino ensembles. So I've

1:05:29

been doing that. I'm in my third year

1:05:31

of a CBS overall and

1:05:35

trying to write movies. I just

1:05:37

wrote a movie with Gloria

1:05:39

Calderon-Kellert who's a popular- She did One

1:05:41

Day at a Time which I was

1:05:43

going to say from Latino cast but

1:05:45

it didn't last for the two. It

1:05:48

actually went to three in a different network.

1:05:50

Got it. It was-

1:05:53

Co-read by the great Mike Royce. Correct.

1:05:56

And it's been tricky so I'm just

1:05:58

trying to do that. So I'd like- to help

1:06:00

out as many people along the way

1:06:02

as I possibly can. And

1:06:05

I'd like to just continue to work

1:06:07

at the highest level possible, but I've

1:06:09

always kind of

1:06:12

had Aaron spelling

1:06:14

dreams of multiple shows on at the

1:06:17

same time and movies. It's

1:06:20

so funny because I always say that I'm like the

1:06:22

kind of guy who had kids in high school. So

1:06:25

I got all that out of my

1:06:27

system. All that like TV shows. I

1:06:29

remember it, wasn't pleasant.

1:06:32

It's too much stress for me. I

1:06:34

still have the old school, I started

1:06:37

before social media. I

1:06:39

started standup comedy in 1998. So

1:06:42

TV that Ray Romano jingling

1:06:44

his keys on Letterman. That

1:06:47

always remained a dream. I know. It's

1:06:49

hard to break because I argue with Roy Wood about this all

1:06:51

the time. Stop it. Just

1:06:54

be, get a YouTube channel and make

1:06:56

your own shit. No, I've got

1:06:59

ATC for that. I can do that. I

1:07:02

saw this coming in 2010. I could have

1:07:05

had one of the biggest podcasts of all time. I

1:07:07

knew I was going to have to nurture

1:07:09

social. I knew social media was

1:07:12

going to enable me to start

1:07:15

a network of podcasts and

1:07:18

put all those together and that eventually we

1:07:20

were going to replace TV because it was

1:07:22

called ATC Network. All the

1:07:25

time. I was going to be a comedy

1:07:27

company because I wanted to be ranked and

1:07:29

I knew people were going to sort alphabetically. I

1:07:33

wanted to be up at the top

1:07:35

and I wanted to rival Comedy

1:07:37

Central. I wanted all the comics to

1:07:40

come together and own the

1:07:42

company that distributed all their

1:07:45

specials and basically that

1:07:47

company would pay them but

1:07:50

they would pay back into the company. It

1:07:53

was a billion dollar company together. Eventually

1:07:57

even I was thinking health insurance. It

1:08:00

was a crazy dream, but it kind of it's

1:08:02

working out but it was You

1:08:05

know that it you know Who knows

1:08:07

why we're here just works out in a different

1:08:09

way that you it works out like both things

1:08:11

in a different way We pivoted but who knows

1:08:14

why we're here and I figure why why why

1:08:16

we're you know while we're here We'll just might

1:08:18

as well fucking go for it Why not like

1:08:20

so I might as well try to crank out

1:08:22

as much shit as I possibly can I feel

1:08:24

like I have good ideas How

1:08:27

are your relationship with these kids great? I

1:08:29

mean how old are they I got 18 and 21 and Senior

1:08:34

senior in college and a senior in high

1:08:36

school and the senior in high school just

1:08:38

found out She got into UCLA great, which

1:08:40

is It's thrilled

1:08:42

to keep her home and cheaper. Oh my

1:08:45

god in state UCLA is $15,000

1:08:48

here, which is nothing compared

1:08:51

to most causes we

1:08:53

pay Three times

1:08:55

that I Mean four times

1:08:57

that for my son to go to a private

1:08:59

Catholic in the Bay Area. God bless.

1:09:01

Yeah Our magical

1:09:04

ladies and gentlemen, that's a lot. It's

1:09:06

a lot of stuff, you know, but is

1:09:08

that a typical block? Yeah You